


The Color of Lilacs

by atrees



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 11:07:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 57,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15661992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atrees/pseuds/atrees
Summary: Perhaps it was impossible to make a wish you didn't regret. At least Sayaka and Kyouko can regret together.





	1. Meetings

A/N: This work takes place after the end of the series. It is slightly AU in the fact that Sayaka is alive and now lives with the other three in Mitakihara. Beyond that, everything else is the same, though there's so little canon information to work with after the end that I'm forced to take a few liberties. Most of the information about the demons is pulled from _Puella Magi Kazumi Magica_ , a spin-off that I assume takes place in the same universe.

If there are any inconsistencies, please let me know.

Chapter One: Meetings

Sayaka laid her head against the cold metal of the guardrail and looked down at the schoolyard below. The rooftop was deserted except for her, as it always was. Few people took the trouble to climb all the way up here to eat lunch, especially in winter when the wind cut right to the bone. Shivering, Sayaka pulled her coat closer to herself. She was late.

Almost unconsciously, her gaze drifted to the far corner of the school courtyard, to a particular bench occupied by a particular couple. Kyousuke and Hitomi sat close together, their lunchboxes spread out in their laps, completely oblivious to the world. Sayaka felt a dull throb in her heart; it still hurt, but it was almost nothing now and soon it would be gone altogether. The first time, she had slapped the green-haired girl in the face and ran away crying. The thought brought a smile to her lips. It all seemed so silly now.

Taking a sip of her juice, Sayaka stared up at the sky and wondered how much money she should've wished for instead. Enough to buy a house, at least. A big mansion on a cliff overlooking the sea, with a pool and a movie theater –

"Yo!"

Sayaka whirled around, her hands on her hips. "You're late."

With a shrug, the red-haired girl leapt from the top of the guardrail and landed next to her, her green coat trailing behind her like a pair of wings. "I stopped by a takoyaki stall on my way here. Want some?"

"Honestly…" Begrudgingly, Sayaka took the offered dumpling and plopped it in her mouth. "And how many times do I have to tell you not to jump over here from the other building? What if someone saw you?

"Yeah, yeah, just give me some of yours also." Without even waiting for a reply, Kyouko scooped up Sayaka's lunchbox, opened it, and stuffed the two largest sushi rolls into her mouth. "It's good," she said with her mouth full. "Your mother's still as good a cook as ever."

Sayaka brought her hand to her face. She had never had a sibling, but she thought that this was probably what it felt like to have an annoying younger sister. Kyouko had moved onto the egg rolls now, using _her_ chopsticks to shovel them into her mouth. Bits of rice clung to her cheeks. With a sigh, Sayaka picked up the forgotten bag of takoyaki and started eating. It was never an even trade, she mused, staring down at the half-empty bag. Her mother would be wondering again why she returned home hungry.

"That was good," Kyouko said, patting her stomach. "I wish I could cook like that. So many delicious things for me to eat."

"You're going to get fat, you know."

The redhead grinned, her lone fan glinting under the sun. "With the kind of exercise _we_ get? Unlikely. An unexpected side-benefit, if you will. You can't fight demons on an empty stomach."

"You're taking this magical girl thing too liberally," Sayaka accused. "Our job is to protect this city by hunting down demons, not to pig out. It's a dangerous job. With an attitude like that, I'm surprised you managed to last so long. Speaking of which, we're having another meeting this afternoon. Mami says it's important. Usual place."

Kyouko groaned. "Again? I've already been here for three weeks and still that girl never learns. It's simple: she keeps to her territory, I keep to my own. When will she realize I'm not part of her little group?"

"You hang out with me often enough."

"You're a special case. We're alike, you and I. Remember that time? You were fighting the demon, cutting it up like – "

"So will you come or not?" Sayaka cut in. She did not want to remember.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, I'll be there." Kyouko waved her hand dismissively. "But you tell her that it's _only_ because of those cakes."

Resting her back against the guardrail, Sayaka stared at the downcast sky. Did Kyouko ever think about something besides her stomach? It was unlikely. Next to her, the redhead was actually _sitting_ on the guardrail, her back to the wide open sky and looking as nonchalant as ever when an errant breeze could send her careening over the edge. Not that it mattered, of course. They could fall from a skyscraper and walk away without a scratch.

"Mami and Homura found a pattern to the demon killings, I think," Sayaka said. "I heard them talking about it this morning."

Kyouko snorted. "I'll bet. Just like last time, right?"

"Like you've come up with anything better."

"I say the best thing we can do right now is wait. It's bound to make a mistake sometime, right? And what's it to us if some poor sap gets his head chopped off? Better than running head-long into something we don't understand."

"And you call yourself a magical girl," Sayaka said, though her tone bore no venom. Mami and Homura took their roles as protectors to heart. Ever since the mass suicides had started a week ago, the two of them had worked ceaselessly day and night to track down the demon responsible. Sayaka had also tried, of course, but those two were in a whole another league of their own. She was hardly in a position to berate the redhead for doing nothing.

"Say…" Kyouko's head suddenly appeared upside down in Sayaka's vision, her long red ponytail dangling an inch off the floor. "Wanna catch a movie with me?"

"Huh? Right now?"

"Of course. The new one that just came out, with that actor you like. I'm not really sure what it's about, though. It's supposed to be pretty good. Afterwards we can head over to Mami's place. What

do you say?"

"Honestly..." Sayaka barely managed to stifle her grin. Only Kyouko could transition from demon-hunting to movie-watching so casually. "You're too easy-going. _Some_ of us still have school, you know. Lunch break is ending soon. I have to get to class."

Kyouko shrugged, slipping off the guardrail back onto the rooftop. "Your loss."

With a slight twist of her feet, Kyouko leapt away from the school, landing on top of a building twenty meters away. She tensed, about to take another leap, then turned around at the last minute. Her bright red hair danced wildly in the wind. Cupping her hands to her mouth, Kyouko shouted, "And don't forget to tell Mami to make some of those cream puffs!"

Grinning, Sayaka watched the redhead bound away from rooftop-to-rooftop until she disappeared into the city foliage. Off to find more food, no doubt. Cleaning up the remains of their lunch, Sayaka headed back down the stairs into the school building, closing the door behind her. They would see each other again soon.

* * *

As it turned out, Kyouko did not go immediately searching for food. She leaped past her favorite sushi restaurant, sailed over the local grocery store, dashed past countless snack food stalls before finally stopping at a large, brick-red building with _Mita Arcade_ emblazoned in neon letters.

Kyouko came here precisely at this time of day because the arcade stood mostly empty, its usual denizens still at school. It was an old brick building with peeling walls; nowadays, most people played videogames in the comfort of their own homes, but Kyouko had fond memories of arcades. She and her sister used to whittle away the hours watching other people play. Right now, of course, the only people present were the delinquents. She flashed them a smile as she walked in and grinned when they immediately turned their heads away, refusing to meet her eyes. They had learned well.

It was a good choice to come to Mitakihara, she decided. Her old town was small and boring and nothing ever happened. All she ever got were tiny demons, microscopic, even, barely enough to qualify as a snack. She had left as soon as she could. The big city was where it's at, and Mitakihara was one of the biggest in the country. Two million people, each with their own fears and insecurities. It was a perfect breeding ground for demons.

Not to mention all the entertainment. Nibbling on a stick of Pocky, she sat down at her favorite machine and inserted a coin into the slot. _CHALLENGER FOUND_ , the screen flashed. Kyouko smirked. This chump had no clue what was about to hit him.

Truthfully, she would rather be at the movie theater, but lately she had gotten bored of watching movies by herself. She wished Sayaka had gone with her. Perhaps she would pay the blue-haired girl a visit tonight, do a marathon of the current shows, stop by a restaurant on the way. None of them needed sleep anyway.

She flexed her fingers, placing one hand on the joystick and the other on the buttons. The screen flashed. _3…2…1…_

"Kyouko."

She jumped up, biting off the end of her Pocky. On-screen, her character stood motionless as her opponent pummeled her. Exasperatedly, Kyouko sank her chin into her palms. "Not this again."

The delicate, white-furred body of Kyubey landed on her shoulder as lightly as a feather. She had no clue where he always appeared from, save that he always came from out of sight and was always impossible to sense. And _always_ he bore irritating news. She wouldn't have been surprised if the little rat could teleport.

"I already know what you're going to say, and my answer is no," Kyouko said. "Tell Mami to take care of her own problems. It's not in my territory, so it's not my job. End of discussion."

Kyubey tilted his head. "So you've sensed it already. Impressive. But I thought you would jump at the chance to get some more Grief Seeds."

"It's a matter of propriety. I have my territory, and she has hers, yeah? Gotta respect the boundaries."

"Times are changing, Kyouko. The other three girls are working together as a cohesive unit to protect the city – a more efficient method, by far. Humans have always progressed towards whatever gives them the greatest advantage. I don't understand why you refuse to join them." Kyubey brushed his tail along Kyouko's cheek in what might've been a reassuring gesture. "Besides, Mami isn't the one who asked for this. It's Sayaka."

Kyouko rested her head against the machine. On-screen, the words _GAME OVER_ flashed in brilliant gold letters. "Sayaka, huh? I'll bet Mami put her up to it, the poor girl. She doesn't even know she's being taken advantage of."

"It will be troublesome for either of them to fake a sickness again. The teachers are catching on."

With a shake of her head, Kyouko stood up, her ponytail swishing behind her. "Fine, you win. I was getting bored anyway. This'll be a good chance for exercise. Besides, now Sayaka owes me one."

The moment she stepped outside she wished she had dressed in something more substantial than jean shorts; the warmth of the arcade had left her sensitive to the winter air. Shivering, Kyouko skirted along the rooftops, keeping her senses sharp. For her, it was easy to detect when and where a demon appeared; there was a little buzz inside her brain, muted but insistent like a mosquito, and with a little concentration she could discern its general direction. Kyouko prided herself on having the best senses out of any of them. In the past she often had to race for Grief Seeds, where the first magical girl to find the demon laid claim to it. Times were changing, Kyubey had said. Perhaps he was right. But Kyouko had always been stubborn.

She found the demon at the former Mitakihara Nursing Home, before it had been torn down to make room for a new apartment complex. Construction hadn't started yet, though, so the demon wandered around the deserted site like a lost child, unable to find prey. No doubt Mami would count this as lucky – there were no humans for it to feed off of. Kyouko clicked her tongue.

"She called me here for _this_? It doesn't even have a host yet! I say we leave it alone, wait for it to find some poor sap to possess. As of now, I doubt I'll even get anything from this."

But then again…Kyouko heaved a sigh. Sayaka would no doubt get mad at her, and the reprimanding from Mami would be _unbearable_. So she leapt from the rooftop, kicking up a small cloud of dust as she landed in front of the demon. It was roughly humanoid, about as large as she was, its skin as black as ink and crawling with countless symbols. As it walked, it dragged its elongated arms behind it. Almost gorilla-like, Kyouko thought off-handedly, as her spear materialized between her fingertips. She thrust the weapon forward, encountering no resistance as it pierced through the demon's chest. The metal point came out clean through the other side. The monster paused, almost as if it was surprised, then vanished in a puff of dark dust.

"Man, just as I thought. _One_ Grief Seed. And look at how small it is! This thing won't clean my Soul Gem at all. You can have it, Kyubey. It's not even worth picking up."

The small black cube lay on the ground like a discarded bottle cap. Kyubey bent over it, his mouth opening as wide as a snake's. Kyouko caught a flash of pure darkness welling from void, and then the mouth closed and it was gone.

She checked her watch. 1:30. Quickly, she turned around and started for the arcade. If she hurried, she had just enough time for a few quick games before the meeting. And perhaps some food along the way.


	2. Breaking the Ice

Chapter Two: Breaking the Ice

"You're late."

Kyouko paused, still halfway through the door. "That's the first thing you say to me after I kill a demon for you?"

Mami took a sip of her tea. "Thank you for that. But I thought that the demon would've been an easy task for someone as strong as you. Surely you shouldn't be twenty minutes late?"

With a _hmph_ , Kyouko slammed the door shut behind her and strode into Mami's apartment. Mami, Homura, and Sayaka were seated on the floor around the living room table – for a good while, if their bored postures and crumbled skirts were anything to go by. As always, Kyubey was perched on Mami's shoulder, preening himself. On the far wall the television displayed the news; more stories about the suicides, no doubt. Kyouko cast her gaze towards the tabletop. All that was left of the cakes were the crumbs. She instantly regretted coming late.

"So I stopped by the arcade for a little bit, sue me." Kyouko plopped down on the ground next to Sayaka. "That demon was really irritating, by the way. Wasn't worth my time. Next time you can go kill it yourself.

"Sorry about making you do that," Sayaka whispered, leaning in close to her. "Mami told me to ask you. You're be more willing if it was me, she said."

"No problem," Kyouko whispered back, then said in a louder voice, "Just be sure to tell her that if she's scared of the demons, she can just say so, alright?"

Sayaka giggled, covering her mouth with her sleeve. With a sigh, Mami settled her teacup down on the table.

"If we're done with the greetings," she said, "perhaps we can move onto the reason why we're all gathered here. As we're all no doubt aware, this past week the number of suicides has skyrocketed. Though this is not the usual modus operandi, it is no doubt the work of demons. The question is, why does the demon cause its victims to kill themselves? Why can we never sense it? To this end, Homura and I have…"

"Here, I saved you some cream puffs." Sayaka whispered, pulling out a plate from under the table. "I figured you were going to be late."

"Marry me."

Sayaka rolled her eyes. "Just don't cause any more trouble today, alright?"

"…and we have confirmed that there is indeed a pattern to the killings," Mami continued, pulling out a map from her pocket and spreading it out across the table. "This is a population density map of Mitakihara. The red dots indicate where suicides have occurred."

Jumping down onto the table, Kyube surveyed the map with his beady red eyes. "Interesting…Yes, this might just be it."

"So what?" Kyouko said through a mouthful of cream puffs. "I don't see anything."

"They occur only in highly populated areas," Sayaka observed. "The mall, the high school, the town hall, Mitakihara University – they're all places with lots of people."

Mami beamed. "Correct. All the suicides have occurred at places where large amounts of people typically gather."

"Demons do that all the time," Kyouko said, licking the crumbs off the plate. "They get stronger by killing other humans, if you haven't forgotten. Once a demon takes possession of a human, it'll naturally seek out a densely populated place to feed on. What else is new?"

"But the fact that this demon has _only_ sought out densely populated areas is something we cannot ignore," Mami said. "All forty-three suicides have been near these areas. This is the only lead we have so far."

"That is the dumbest thing I've heard. There's no way we can predict where it's going to strike just from knowing that."

"Perhaps not, but we can limit the possible places where it will appear. Homura and I – "

Kyouko laughed. "Limit? You want us to run around every single place that people can gather? Do you even know how many people live in Mitakihara?"

"Two million, for your information," Mami said coolly, "and it'll only decrease steadily if we leave this demon unchecked."

"I say we play the waiting game." Kyouko leaned back, supporting herself on her arms. "It's only been a week, right? And forty-something deaths are just a drop in the bucket. The more this demon feeds, the stronger it gets, and eventually we'll be able to detect its presence – then _bam_ , we take it down in one shot. Not to mention all the extra Grief Seeds we'll get."

Mami's glare could've withered flowers. "Our duty is to protect this city. Every minute we wait is another chance for the demon to claim another victim. How do you sleep at night, knowing that people's blood are on your – "

"Ha! The people? Protecting the city?" Kyouko snorted. "That self-righteous attitude of yours is what I hate most."

"It's called compassion, something I'm afraid you're unaquainted with."

"Listening to you prattle on makes me want to puke. Get this through your thick skull: our first priority is _ourselves_. Who cares if a few dozen low-lives off themselves? As long as – "

"These are _people,_ how can you talk about them like that?"

" – we get our Grief Seeds, nothing else matters. In fact, I'll say that letting the demon run around is our best choice. The stronger it gets, the more Grief Seeds we can grab – "

Kyouko paused, glaring at the blue-haired girl at her side. Sayaka had lain a hand on her arm; her expression was pleading. For a moment the only sound was the buzz of the television – and then Kyouko sagged against the floor, the tension dissipating from her body.

"Do whatever you want," she muttered.

Mami's glare never lessened, her eyes boring straight into Kyouko's, but at last she gave a curt nod. "Very well. We have been working on a plan. Homura?"

At Mami's words, Homura took out four colored markers and began tracing lines across the map.

"You always take her side," Kyouko whispered, scowling at Sayaka.

"You should at least give it a chance," the other girl replied, removing her hand from her arm. "We're getting nowhere at this rate."

Kyouko grumbled but said no more, taking a stick of Pocky from her skirt and munching on it. Mami was ill-suited to be magical girl, she knew. She was too righteous, too benevolent, too trusting. She was too much of everything Kyouko had learned not to be. A magical girl already had enough trouble taking care of herself. How was she expected to take care of others? Their world had no room for philanthropists, and sooner or later Mami's goodwill would catch up to her – along with anyone else following her. The scar on Kyouko's back flashed as hot as fire. Nothing good ever came out of caring for others.

Homura Akemi, on the other hand…out of the corner of her eye, Kyouko observed the raven-haired girl at work. Truthfully, she wasn't sure what to make of Homura Akemi. She was immensely powerful, no doubt about that – but there was something more fundamental at work here, something that warped her personality. She was too removed, as if she was observing the world through a fishbowl. It wasn't immediately obvious. To everyone else, Homura was a model student: intelligent, athletic, and beautiful, albeit a bit quiet. But there were long stretches of time where she simply stared at the sky, eyes scanning the clouds for something invisible and far beyond the atmosphere. During those moments she seemed far older than her sixteen years. Her hand would travel to the pink bow on her hair, her expression would turn unbearably sad, and, if Kyouko strained her ears enough, she could catch the end of those faintly whispered words, "…doka."

It was funny, Kyouko thought. In the end, it was Sayaka, the weakest among them, who was perhaps best suited as a magical girl. Unlike Kyouko, she actually cared about the people she was supposed to be protecting; but unlike Mami, she did not place them before herself; and unlike Homura, she felt the world in all its immediacy. Compassion, selfishness, ardor – Sayaka wore her heart on her sleeve. That honesty, the redhead remembered, thinking back to that blood-splattered smile three weeks ago, was what had drawn her to the blue-haired girl in the first place.

"This is our new patrol route," Homura said at last, snapping Kyouko out of her reverie. "I've designed it so that all of the most densely-populated areas are covered. This will take more time than before, but it'll optimize our chances of catching the demon the moment it materializes. Mami will cover the area from the legislative building to Mitakihara Park. I will cover the area from 32nd street to the western edge of town. Sayaka, you'll cover the major residential areas, starting from Tanoshima Apartments. And I've taken care to keep _your_ territorythe same as always, Kyouko. Are we clear?"

Homura's words were directed towards all of them, but her eyes were solely focused on Kyouko. The redhead waved her hand dismissively.

"Yeah, yeah, so I pretty much just do exactly what I've always been doing, huh? Fantastic plan you've got there. I'm fine with that, as long as you two keep off my territory. The bigger question comes _after_ we kill the demon."

"We'll split the Grief Seeds evenly, as we've always done," Mami said.

"See, there's the problem." Kyouko leaned forward, baring her fang. "I don't like to share."

With a sigh, Mami brought her hand to her face, gently massaging her temples with her fingers. "This again? Kyouko, we've been through this. We will all gladly share any Grief Seeds we have with you, and you should do the same. The times when magical girls competed against each are gone. There are plenty of demons in Mitakihara for all of us. We just ask that you cooperate."

"Cooperate, huh?" Kyouko crossed her arms, staring belligerently at the blonde. She could see it as clear as day. The cliff looming before them led directly into the abyss, and they ran headlong into it, led by a blond-haired girl with more benevolence than brains. Sayaka laid a hand against her shoulder. Kyouko shook her off.

"Cooperate, you say. How long will cooperation _really_ get us? How dirty is your Soul Gem? Thirty percent? Forty percent? 'But there's plenty of Grief Seeds for all of us.' Not a chance! Everything's alright for now, but do you think it will really last?" Standing up, Kyouko leaned across the table until she was face-to-face with Mami. "You know as well as I do. Misery is not an infinite resource. There will come a time when the well runs dry and your Soul Gem is as black as night. Perhaps it is not this year. Perhaps it is not even next year. But it _will_ come, and at that time you'll all turn on each other like a pack of dogs. I've seen it happen. Save us all the heartache. Better to just split up now."

"False. Mitakihara is larger than any city you have ever been in. What you have gone through will not happen here."

"You think you're so perfect, don't you? That you have it all figured out? Fine. Cooperate all you want." Kyouko stood up and marched to the door. "But count me out of your plans. The moment you or Homura step foot into my territory my spear'll be stuck in your chest."

"You can't do this alone, Kyouko," Mami called behind her. "Whether you like it or not, you need us and we need you. It's the only way we can protect this city. You're just being stubborn. Sayaka, talk some sense into her."

Kyouko whipped around, slamming her fist against the wall. "Don't drag Sayaka into this. She can make her own choices."

Hesitantly, the blue-haired girl reached out a hand. Kyouko watched her out of the corner of her eye. Surely, if it was Sayaka, she would –

"Kyouko…please," Sayaka looked up at her imploringly. "It doesn't have to be this way. Just give it a chance."

Kyouko froze at the doorway. Something sharp pierced her heart, something as sharp as the point of a spear and just as cold. She clutched her chest through her shirt. God, it hurt – she hadn't expected to feel such a pain again, since that fire all those years ago. She had gotten weak. Haltingly, she took a half-step forward, looking like she was about to come back, then she straightened her head and clenched her fists at her sides.

"You always take her side," she said bitterly.

The door slammed shut behind her.

* * *

The room lay still. Kyouko's voice hung heavy upon the air, and for a little while the three of them just stared sadly at the door. Part of their vitality had departed along with her; the tension drained out of the air like ink from paper.

It had gone far worse than expected, Sayaka thought. Guilt lanced through her heart as exquisitely as a splinter. She might have just done something terrible – that brief glimpse she saw of Kyouko's face had told her all she needed to know.

"That girl…" Mami sighed heavily, shaking her head. "I had hoped she would join us, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I don't think she'll do anything drastic, at least. As long we keep out of her 'territory,' she can be counted on to exterminate any demons that show up there."

"A return to the status quo, in a way," Homura said. "Perhaps it is for the best."

"We'll still be sticking with the plan Homura laid out earlier," Mami said. "Will you be okay, Sayaka? I know you're relatively new and we gave you quite a large area to cover. If you ever feel overwhelmed, we'll be more than glad to help out."

"Huh? Oh, right, of course. I'll be fine," Sayaka said. There had been tears in her eyes. In all the time she had known the Kyouko, the redhead had never even shown anything close to resembling sadness. Anger, sure, and lots of irritation, but that confident smirk had never been far from her face. There had been tears in her eyes.

"I think…I might need to go." Sayaka stood up.

Mami nodded. "If it's you, you might be able to get through to her. Just…if she gets angry, leave immediately, alright? This isn't worth losing something over."

"I don't think it'll come to that."

Perhaps Kyouko is right, Sayaka thought as she strode into the sun-lit terrace. Or perhaps Mami is right. Or perhaps both of them are completely wrong. Regardless, it all came later. The sharp steel of winter wind ruffled through her clothes as she descended the apartment. Kyouko was nowhere in sight, no doubt miles away by now, sprinting from rooftop to rooftop while the tears in her eyes froze like icicles. But Sayaka would find her. She would go to her and say she was sorry. She would go to her and beg for the sympathy she never gave, for the forgiveness she didn't deserve, for the compassion she never showed. And then, perhaps, somehow, someway, all would be right with the world.


	3. Shattered Cathedral

Chapter Three: Shattered Cathedral

The ceiling was leaking. Kyouko found the steady _drip drip drip_ of water calming, almost enough to lull her to sleep, if she ever remembered how to sleep again. It would've been nice to dream.

The church was empty and ripe with the smell of musty wood. She lay on her back on one of the pews, her arms behind her head, staring blankly above. Her house was a grand place – a massive church in an old, abandoned part of the city, forgotten by even whatever divinity had given it shape. The congregation area was strewn haphazardly with broken pews, dust and cobwebs covering the floor like a new sheet of paint. Rays of dappled light flooded in through stained glass windows. Spiraling upwards into a point far above her head, the domed ceiling contained enough cracks to clearly see the night sky. The church must have been popular, once, she thought, but eventually secularism had outstripped evangelicalism and its parishioners slowly trickled down to nothing.

Although the derelict cathedral offered none of the amenities of the hotels she usually stayed at, Kyouko preferred it here, all the same. It reminded her of home – the good parts, at least. Her old church had been far smaller, of course; on especially good days with a large turnout, her father had to give his sermons outside. He dressed in his finest robes, the same one every week, and he took them off immediately when he was done to keep them pristinely clean. During the sermon, Kyouko stood in a corner with her mother and sister and did her best to remain quiet like a grown-up. When the time came, it had been _her_ job to start the collection basket. She would hand it to the first person in the first row, smiling as hard as she could to encourage them to be a little bit more generous. Some days the basket came back brimming with coins. Most days it came back as empty as it started.

The fire had stretched to the sky. Never again, she promised herself. Once was enough and she never made the same mistake twice. The fire had stretched to the sky, a tidal wave that consumed paper and wood and flesh equally. Her contracted body had been the only reason she had survived, but God did it hurt, those flames. She left the scar on her back unhealed as a reminder.

_"Kyouko…please. It doesn't have to be this way."_

She ground her teeth. Just remembering those words was another fresh cut on the same wound. That miserable girl still sided with Mami in the end, despite everything she had done for her. Did none of them see? Had they all grown so fat and complacent with the steady stream of Grief Seeds that they were blind to what was right before their eyes? The well was draining, withering, guttering. But if they were so determined to remain fools, Kyouko promised, then she would stop trying to convince them otherwise. Sayaka could go ahead and rot with Mami and Homura. The second betrayal hadn't cut nearly as deep and Kyouko promised herself there would never be a third.

Still, she admitted to herself, it had been nice to have a friend, even for a little while. Perhaps it would be different this time, she remembered thinking. Sayaka's blue hair had been dyed crimson with blood, and Kyouko had clutched the tainted Soul Gem in her palm and thought that perhaps it would be different this time. But in her heart she had always known the truth. They were both magical girls, and friendship among magical girls was as flimsy as the plaster coating dynamite. She knew from the start they would eventually part.

So why did it hurt so much?

She would leave in the morning, she decided. Yokohoma was to the north, eight hundred thousand residents strong. Or Saitama, perhaps; it was slightly smaller, but it was close to the sea and Kyouko had always wanted to see it at least once in her lifetime. Or perhaps Chiba, or Kawasaki, or Iwaki, or –

She heard her coming before she saw her. Sound echoed far in the church; the footsteps were dim at first, but they steadily grew louder, shoes thumping against the wood, louder and louder until they thundered against the silence and Kyouko was sure it was no mere passerby but _her_.

"Yo."

Her voice shattered the solemnity of the church like an anvil thrown against the mirror. Kyouko stared up at the moon through the crack in the ceiling and wondered why she felt so relieved.

"What are you doing here? I don't remember telling you about this place."

"You told me you liked to live in churches when you got bored of fancy hotels. It took me a while to find this one."

So she had, Kyouko suddenly remembered. Crossing her arms, she did her best to sound apathetic.

"So? What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize."

Like hell. Kyouko tried to keep the pain out of her voice but it was too raw. "Oh, is that all? It's fine, you can go back. I'm fine."

"No. It's my fault, it's completely my fault. You were right. I…I didn't mean to hurt you."

Nobody ever meant it, Kyouko thought bitterly. Mami probably put her up to it again; she could picture it clearly in her mind, now. _Sayaka, go apologize to Kyouko. That idiot will come back lapping at your heels._ It would be so easy to scare her away. Sayaka was a mere rookie, barely three weeks a magical girl. All she had to do was brandish her lance a little, hit her once or twice, some vague threats, and she would run away from the church with her tail tucked behind her legs. There wouldn't even be any need for lasting damage.

Instead, she said, "You still think she's right. That the people of Mitakihara need to be protected. That we should work together. That we can all be friends."

A sigh, and the sound of footsteps, closer and closer.

"Kyouko…Maybe, perhaps a little bit. But I don't think she's completely right and I don't think you're completely right – "

"So it all meant nothing, in the end. Everything I did – "

"Not everyone who's not with you is against you, Kyouko," Sayaka's voice sounded, far too loud, far too close. Her face suddenly replaced the sky. She was bending over the church pew, her face directly above Kyouko's, her eyes as blue as the cerulean sea.

"I don't know what to think," she said, "only that I should've agreed with you, back then. You had a point, and Mami needed to know that she's not perfect. She needed to know that she's not always right. But I said nothing. Kyouko, can you forgive me?"

She wanted to; she wanted to hug her and go back to eating lunch on the rooftop and watching movies until the early hours of the morning. Instead Kyouko stood up and marched five steps in the opposite direction with her fists clenched tightly at her sides. She knew from the start they would eventually part, and some things needed to be said no matter how much it pained her.

She couldn't let Sayaka see her face. A lump rose in her throat and with effort she forced it down.

"None of it matters, in the end," she said bitterly. "Friendship will mean nothing – only strength. Steadily, Mitakihara will run out of Grief Seeds and eventually there'll be none left at all. What will we mean to each other then, except enemies? You – you are no exception. Why do you think I left my previous town? It was because the magical girls there drained it as dry as a desert. I was strongest. I was the only one alive."

"We can find another way," Sayaka pleaded. "What you described won't happen for at least another year, right? That's plenty of time for us to figure something out."

Kyouko laughed, and even in her own ears it sounded fake. "By then it will be too late. There is no other choice, and the sooner you realize this fact the longer you will live. Friendship is a liability."

"There's no way that's true – "

"You can go back to Mami and Homura. I'm sure the three of you can figure something out. You don't need me and I certainly don't need you."

"That's wrong. We do need you. _I_ need you."

Two steps and something warm wrapped around her hand. Sayaka's fingers were trembling. Kyouko squeezed her eyes shut; when she opened them her vision was hot and blurry. Damn her. It wasn't even fair. She could smell the scent of pomegranates and evening stock. Her heart gave a single lasting tremble and she knew that this was her last chance.

"There is no other way," she said, words rushing out faster and faster. "Friendship never lasts. We part, or we die. I knew this from the start. You meant nothing to me. It was pity, and nothing more. Go back to Mami. Have your little demon-hunting adventure together. You never meant anything to me at all."

Silence, and Kyouko dared to hope. Then:

"You know that's not true. Otherwise…you wouldn't have saved my life back then."

Close, too close. So Sayaka had not forgotten after all (even though it had been silly to even consider it). Kyouko heard for the first time the quiver in her voice, the occasional hiccups, the coherency balanced on the edge of a knife. Sayaka was as desperate as she was, she suddenly realized. Damn her to hell.

She turned around slowly, praying that a demon would appear and send the church roof tumbling down on their heads. It was almost too late; in another second she would face Sayaka and then that would be the end of everything. The only sound was the sound of her own heavy breathing; the spiral dome remained as far away as ever. She turned around slowly and saw there were tears, too, in Sayaka's blue eyes.

The space between them lit up with dust motes under the light of the moon. The cold night air danced arabesques across her skin.

"You're an idiot," she said at last, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "How many churches are there in Mitakihara? A dozen, at least. You shouldn't have come."

Sayaka's laughter was as clear as crystal. The tears spilled out of her eyes, glittering like diamonds on her cheeks.

"Seventeen, actually," she said. "But I got lucky. This was only my fifth."

"And what would've happened if I stayed at hotel instead? Or if I decided to go somewhere else when you arrived? A great big waste of time, that's what."

"It still would have been worth it."

And what was she supposed to say to that? Perhaps she should embrace her, Kyouko thought. She had seen it in a movie, once. Or a kiss, maybe. But somehow none of it seemed right. For a full ten seconds the two of them simply stared at each other, until Kyouko, her cheeks flushed as red as coals, jabbed a finger directly into Sayaka's chest.

"Don't think this changes anything," she said. "I still hate Mami's guts and I have no intention of cooperating with her or Homura."

"I never expected anything more," Sayaka said with a warm smile. "I just wanted to apologize. As long as we can talk together like this, I…"

Kyouko turned away, her cheeks as red as her hair. "How do you manage to say these things with a straight face?"

Sayaka giggled, the pink tips of her mouth curving upwards like a crescent moon. With a shake of her head, she sat down on the floor, resting her back against the faded wood of the church. Kyouko fell down beside her. Above them the stained-glass window let in lights of red and gold.

"That was a dirty trick, bringing up what happened before," Kyouko grumbled.

"Maybe. It worked though, didn't it?"

Kyouko clenched her teeth. "Whatever you do, don't tell Mami about this, alright? That blonde doesn't need any more ego-boosting, and I can already picture the look on her face if she found out I went back on everything I said."

The wide, knowing smile, the haughty tilt of her chin, the half-lidded eyes screaming _I told you so_. Mami wouldn't say anything, of course. She would welcome her back like nothing had ever happened. She would clap her hands together in a perfect facsimile of delight, smiling that abominable smile of hers. But that just made it all the worse when they both knew whose victory it was, and Kyouko could do nothing except grin and bear it when when all she wanted to do was smash that fake smile –

"You know," Sayaka said, "she's not as bad as you think."

Kyouko tilted her head back to look at the stars.

"I know."

And in a way, that had been the hardest thing of all.

"She really cares about Mitakihara and its residents. You've had your disagreements, true, but she still wants you to join us so we can protect the city together."

"I know."

"Plus, you're hardly a saint yourself."

Kyouko scowled. "I know."

Sayaka turned to glared at her. "And what would've happened if you had your way? Magical girls can't co-exist, according to you. Well, I'm a magical girl, too. Would you have been fine never seeing me again?"

"I…I would've figured something out," Kyouko finished lamely. It was not a lie. Whether it was Yokohoma or Saitama or Iwaki, Kyouko knew in her heart that she would never leave Mitakihara as long as Sayaka stayed. That night two weeks ago intertwined their fates as irrevocably as a weaver's loom. Touching a finger to the ring on her right hand, she remembered the once-flawless ruby. Now, flecks of black paint dotted its crimson surface like ruptured cysts.

"So your threats only applied to Mami and Homura, then? That's rather hypocritical of you, isn't it?"

Kyouko grinned and bared her fang. "Who cares about those two?"

"As self-centered as ever. That's a good thing, I suppose," Sayaka said. "It helps me feel better about myself. Even I can only take so much of Mami's compassion before I begin to feel like a terrible person for even breathing the same air as she does."

Kyouko threw her head back and laughed, her ponytail dancing wildly behind her.

Smiling, Sayaka stretched back, sliding against the wall until she was practically laying on the floor. With a yawn, she said, "You know, you're the only person I know who can make Mami lose her temper. Actually, now that I think about it, you're the only person I know who doesn't like her in the slightest."

"She almost killed me, if you hadn't forgotten," Kyouko pointed out.

Sayaka waved her arm. "Please, we both know that was your fault."

The rotten wood of the decrepit church pressed coldly against Kyouko's neck. She craned her head and looked towards the sky, at the cracked ceiling made up of more empty air than wood.

"Do I need a reason to hate her? She was born with everything, never having to worry about a single thing in her life. She's friendly and smart and popular and she's showered with praise wherever she goes. Beauty, wealth, academics, athletics…What isn't she perfect in? People flock to her like moths to a fire. They practically worship the ground she walks on. And the worst part is, even through all the attention, she's managed to remain as kind-hearted as a saint." Kyouko laughed bitterly. "I believe I have a right to hate her. God knows _someone_ has to."

A knowing smile formed on Sayaka's lips. "So in the end, that's all it was? Petty jealousy? Kyouko, you're not very honest with yourself."

"I'm not finished," Kyouko said, glaring at her. "On the surface she may be perfect, but the more I got to her know her, the more I realized that she doesn't know anything about the world. For all her supposed politeness, she's more narrow-minded than anyone else I've met. That confidence of hers is what's blinding her – and why shouldn't she be confident in herself? Her whole life has been straight out of a fairy tale. She's never had to worry about a single thing in her life. She's never had anyone around her to tell her she's wrong. That arrogance of hers is what pisses me off the most."

Sayaka gave another yawn. "And you're modesty incarnate, right? I'd hardly call her life a fairy tale. Nobody becomes a magical girl without some sort of hardship."

"That's my point. Nobody can be that perfect. Everyone has faults, magical girls especially. Mami simply hides it better than most."

"I still think you're jealous."

With a _hmmph_ , Kyouko crossed her arms, turning away from the blue-haired girl. She stared at the splintered walls and shattered floorboards of the church. What would it be like to live in a penthouse apartment instead of sharing an attic with three other people? What would it be like to eat pastries every day instead of rotten apple cores? What would it be like to look forward to school instead of dread the inevitable derision and scorn?

Kyouko stared sadly at the broken stained-glass windows and whispered, "Maybe just a little."

"Well, my jealous little prince, if it makes you feel better, _I_ certainly like you better than Mami," Sayaka said. She laughed, wrapping her arms tightly around Kyouko's waist. Her body was soft and warm. "Though I'm probably the only one in the world who does."

"That doesn't make me feel better at all," Kyouko grumbled. But it had, just a little.

Sayaka nestled in close, resting her head in the crook of Kyouko's shoulder. Soft strands of blue hair tickled Kyouko's chin.

"It's late and I'm too tired to go back," she said with half-lidded eyes. "Let me stay here tonight."

"Will your parents be alright with that?"

"I'll just tell them I was staying over at a friend's house. It's technically not a lie, is it?"

Kyouko gestured to the church around her. "You'd hardly call this a house. Do you see any beds around? You're going to get a cold sleeping out here."

"I'm fine like this," Sayaka murmured. "Just…don't move. Stay close to me, so I can keep warm."

"That's – You can't expect me to – " But Sayaka's eyes were already closed. Her head pressed tightly against Kyouko's neck, her body rising and falling with the gentle rhythm of her breaths. Five churches, Kyouko suddenly remembered, and the fool had probably been looking ever since the meeting that afternoon. All on an off-handed remark she had made weeks ago. How unnecessary.

For the rest of the night, Kyouko sat still and watched the stars.


	4. How They Met, Part I

Chapter Four: How They Met, Part I

She stepped off the train into a ghost town. In this day and age, people either took a plane or maglev to anywhere that wasn't within driving distance, reserving train transport solely for the poorest of the poor. But Kyouko had always had a soft spot in her heart for tradition and the deserted station was just a bonus. Well, the station wasn't quite deserted; she was the only person present, true, but a few feet in front of her, sitting on the arrival line as if he had been waiting patiently the whole time, was the white-furred body of Kyubey.

"You never told me you were coming to Mitakihara, Kyouko."

She brushed past him. "And yet here you are."

His delicate footsteps followed her. "Why have you left Kasamino? Surely it's not because another magical girl evicted you?"

"I'm insulted that you think so little of me," Kyouko said with mock distress. "You, of all people, should know that I'd never give up my territory so easily."

"I see. Kasamino has been completely depleted, then?"

"Not a single demon left. As expected, a city that small couldn't sustain both of us for long. The other girl is dead. Her Soul Gem was completely tainted."

"Improbable, but not impossible," he replied, then, a beat later, "A more likely explanation, however, is – "

"Finish that sentence and I'll kill you."

His tone held the faintest trace of laughter. "Humans are such capricious creatures. I merely wished to ascertain the truth. I did not mean to offend."

"Of course you didn't," she muttered, but said nothing more. It had been an empty threat in the first place; Kyubey had many bodies, and killing one only invited another to take its place. She had not even known why she bothered.

"But I do not understand," he said, as if nothing had ever happened. "Why have you decided to come to Mitakihara? There are already three magical girls here."

Kyouko froze in her tracks. "Three?"

"Indeed. Two veterans and one rookie."

"Three…" Kyouko brought a hand to her face. "This is ridiculous. Mitakihara is the biggest city in the prefecture, so I figured there'll be plenty of space for me. But four girls in one city?"

"That's why you should have consulted me first. I could have – "

"Shut up. I'll figure something out," Kyouko muttered, stuffing her hand in her pockets. Four girls in one city. It would be difficult, but not impossible. "It's not like going to another city is going to change anything. Everywhere else is either taken or dry as a desert."

In the distance, the train roared to life, rusted wheels grinding against the track as it sped away. She would need to meet the other girls first, Kyouko decided. There was probably already some sort of agreement between the three of them, and they would hardly welcome a newcomer into their midst. But Kyouko was confident they would learn. They would give her her own territory. They would leave her her own prey. They would stay out of her way. And maybe then, she would let them live.

* * *

"This is a joke, right?"

Mami stared at her with golden eyes. "I assure you we are definitely not joking."

Kyouko's laughter pierced the apartment room with the immediacy of a gunshot. Clutching her sides, she fell against the floor, her entire body shaking. Across the table, Mami and Homura silently stared at her with expressions as perfectly frozen as a block of ice. Sayaka, on the other hand, banged a fist against the table and shouted,

"What the hell's so funny?"

Kyouko wiped a tear from her eye. "Magical girls…working together…"

Red-faced and breathless, she finally sat upright, the last bits laughter still etched in her grin. Her lone fang gleamed as it caught the light. "You know," she said conversationally, "When you guys called me here to 'talk,' I was sure you were going to take the chance to gang up on me. To think that it was actually for something like this…"

"I said I don't understand what's so funny," Sayaka said, glaring at the redhead. "Would you care to explain?"

Kyouko yawned. "You're the rookie, right? I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you. I can see how this deal would benefit you, but – " she fixed her gaze to the other two, meeting their icy glares unflinchingly – "what do you guys hope to gain from this? Why would you bother sharing your Grief Seeds with a complete rookie like her?"

"Who the hell are you to talk to me like that? I may be new, but – "

"Sayaka, that's enough." The blonde's tone had changed – there was a sharpness to it now, like a blade wrapped beneath a silken sheet. Kyouko paused. This one was dangerous.

"We have no ulterior motives other than to save as many lives as possible," Mami said. "Mitakihara is a large city, and it will take all of us to protect it. Working together is simply the most efficient method. It saves us the petty power struggles that plague so many other cities, allowing us to conserve our full strength to hunt demons. We simply wish to protect the people, a sentiment that I believe all magical girls should share."

Kyouko stared at her incredulously. "You expect me to believe that?"

"Whether you believe us or not is up to you. If you wish to make enemies of us, do so at your own peril."

It was the black-haired girl who spoke this time. Homura Akemi, if Kyouko remembered correctly. She sat with her back as straight as a steel rod and her face just as expressionless. A pair of midnight-black eyes gazed levelly into Kyouko's own. Kyouko didn't like the look in those eyes – they were jaded, lackluster, as if nothing in the world could possibly frighten her. You only saw those kind of eyes in the really old magical girls.

"Well, it doesn't really matter to me anyway, what you guys decide to do," Kyouko said with a shrug. "Let's say I believe your little story. How about this: I'll take the area south of the river. You can count on me to kill any demons that show up there. That's reasonable, right? And you guys can play your little game everywhere else. I won't bother you and you won't bother me. I get my Grief Seeds, you get your citizens protected. Everyone wins."

Mami took a sip of her tea. "And if we ever feel the need to intrude upon your side?"

"Expect to find my lance in your chest."

Sayaka stood up immediately. "That's ridiculous! You're going to kill us just for doing our jobs? What kind of magical girl are you?"

"A live one, which is more than I can say for all three of you in another year. Well, Mami? What do you say?"

The blonde looked at her sadly. "There is nothing I can say to change your mind?"

"None."

"Then I have no more to say to you."

"You heard her," Sayaka spat. "Get out of here. I never want to see your face again."

"Believe me, I'd love for that to happen," Kyouko said, laughing. With a parting wave, she walked to the door, calling out behind her, "Just remember: we'll get along fine as long as you leave me alone. Feel free to 'work together' all you want in your own territory, but the moment you step foot in mine – " she grinned, slicing her thumb through her neck " – I'll kill you, no questions asked."

* * *

Footsteps, heavy breathing, a door clanging open, and then a voice calling out behind her:

"What are you doing here?"

Kyouko sat on the rooftop guardrail, her feet dangling off the precipice. "I thought you said you never wanted to see me again?"

"This is no time for jokes. What are you doing at our school?"

The redhead took a bite of her apple. "I was just passing by. No need to worry yourself, Sayo…Saki…Sera…er, what was your name again?"

Behind her, the other girl's voice trembled with rage. "You have no business here. Leave immediately."

"Or what?" Kyouko laughed. She spun a graceful half-turn on the guardrail, bringing them face-to-face. "You think you can fight me alone, Sayo-Saki-Sera? Where are the other two?"

"My name is Sayaka," she said, crossing her arms. "I'm not scared of you. If you want to fight – "

"Hold on there. Who said anything about fighting?" Kyouko held up her hands in a placating gesture. "I was just eating peacefully, minding my own business, when suddenly this girl comes out of nowhere and demands that I leave. That's quite rude, you know."

"So I'm the bad guy now? I know you were spying on us. Telling us off yesterday wasn't enough for you? You had to come here again personally to see us? Honestly, I can't believe there are magical girls like you! How can you be so selfish, so greedy, so heartless? Our job is to protect this city, but all you care about is getting those stupid Grief Seeds!"

"Sorry to shatter your perfect little world," Kyouko replied through a mouthful of apple flesh, "but most other magical girls are like me. It's you three who are the anomalies."

"That's because none of them have ever given it a chance. If you'd just put selfishness aside for a minute – "

"Such noble words, coming from someone who's only been a magical girl for what, three days?"

"Just because I'm new – "

"Still, you guys are unbelievable," Kyouko continued, ignoring her. "First, working together, and now this?" She gestured to the school around her, shaking her head. "What's the point? Why do you guys waste your time going to school? Don't tell me you honestly enjoy it? If you want money, there's plenty of easy ways for a magical girl to get it instead of slaving away at some job."

"We have morals," she replied coldly. "Not all of us are heartless scum like you."

Kyouko laughed again, sending the guard rail shaking. "You're so naïve it's amazing. How did someone like you get a contract?"

"I don't need to take this from you," Sayaka said. There was a bright flash of light and a sword appeared in her hand, its gleaming tip pointed straight at the redhead. "Get out, or I'll make you."

Kyouko gave an exaggerated sigh. This girl had courage, if nothing else, and that was certainly an improvement over the sickeningly sweet attitude of that insufferable blonde.

"Fine, fine, I'll leave," she said, jumping down from the guardrail. "But here's a word of caution: don't trust those two. This little plan of yours will only end with you in an early grave. If it's not the taint on your Soul Gem that kills you, it'll be your so-called friends. My advice? Strike first."

Her hand shook as it clenched the hilt. "Get. Out."

For another moment Kyouko simply stared at her, as if waiting for her to carry out her threat, then finally she gave a faint nod. She had learned all she could for the moment, she decided as she leapt way from the school; the reconnaissance mission had been successful. Sayaka, at least, bore no threat to her. Kyouko could destroy her as easily as she could crush an out. She had a feeling, however, that the other two would be tougher opponents. It was a shame they had not shown up. But it was no important matter, she thought confidently. She would eventually discover all their weaknesses. Let them hide a little longer.

* * *

Lying on her side on the hotel bed, Kyouko idly flipped through the TV channels. Seven hundred total. Not bad at all. She popped a roll of sushi into her mouth. Even the food was something else. This was definitely how a five-star hotel should be. Presidential suites, twenty-four seven room service, professional chefs, and it was only two blocks away from the entertainment center. Mitakihara was certainly a step above Kasamino.

It was almost enough for her to forget she shared it with three other magical girls.

Irritated, she turned off the TV and threw the remote against the wall. Really, she'd have preferred the usual fare of cutthroats over those three saints. Who did they think they were, to establish a new system that went against every rule in the book? If she was lucky, then the taint of their Soul Gems would kill them within the year, leaving Mitakihara to herself. She could always dream, right?

Tilting her head, she asked, "What do you make of this little play they've put on, Kyubey?"

The little rat jumped from her shoulder down onto the bed, stretching out on her pillow. "It's feasible, though only time will tell."

"You, too? And here I thought you were semi-intelligent."

"Technically, there is nothing stopping magical girls from working together," he said. "Human selfishness has always been the biggest obstacle, though the amount of Grief Seeds is not unlimited, either. There have been previous records, of course, of magical girls combining forces to defeat a strong foe – a Walpurgisnacht, for example. Those three are simply extending the concept. If it proves successful, I might relay word to the others to adopt it."

"So those three really are just doing it out of the goodness of their hearts?"

"To the best of my knowledge, yes."

"Unbelievable. And you think they actually have a shot?"

"I can predict the future no more than you can, but I say it is certainly possible."

"You're wrong," Kyouko said automatically. They were definitely wrong – yet for all their stupidity, those three had seemed almost happy. They had seemed almost…normal. An idea sparked in her mind, the faintest whisper of a dream – she shook her head. Really, it wasn't even worth thinking about. "It's impossible for four magical girls to work together," she said flatly. "It's simply too inefficient and there's just not enough Grief Seeds to split four ways, not to mention that one of them will stab you in the back sooner or later. But – " she hesitated, holding her ring above her face until she saw her own reflection in its flawless crimson surface, " – two, I suppose, is not impossible, though you'd have to trust each other very much…"

* * *

She dashed along the sidewalk, ignoring the glares of the passer-by. The buzzing in her brain was getting fainter and fainter, though she was sure she was getting closer and closer to the demon. She must almost be upon it, now, yet the buzzing was almost gone entirely, reduced to a faint, sporadic ping every few seconds. There could only be one explanation for this.

She burst into the clearing just in time to see the last trickle of gunpowder smoke disappear into the air. The playground was almost completely deserted save for the corpse of a child at its center. His head had been cleanly hewn from his neck, his wide-eyed expression lying a few feet away from his body, pools of blood staining the dirt crimson. Next to him lay the corpse of the demon that had killed him, its body already dissipating into Grief Seeds. Above both of them stood Mami. Her eyes were solemn as she stared at the boy's broken body, a silver musket lying discarded by her feet.

In an instant Kyouko had transformed, her red skirt fluttering wildly in the wind. She gripped her spear with both hands. "What are you doing here?"

The blonde turned slowly; Kyouko tensed, expecting an attack, but Mami simply stared at her with an unreadable expression on her face.

"He was only ten."

"That doesn't answer my question," Kyouko snarled. "Why are you in my territory, hunting my prey?"

"Why? Because you were not doing your job." Bending down next to the boy's head, Mami used two fingers to close his eyes. "I waited two hours, expecting you to kill it, but you never showed up. Now I wish I had never waited at all. He was only ten. What kind of future did he have waiting for him?"

Kyouko slammed the butt of her spear against the ground. "That's the whole point, you goddamn idiot. I purposely left the demon alone so it could eat its fill. The stronger it gets, the more Grief Seeds I'll get from killing it. Don't you even understand a basic concept like that?"

"So it was on purpose, after all," Mami said softly. "I had hoped you simply didn't notice, but this is just too tragic."

"Alright, look," Kyouko said with a shake of her head. "You're an idiot, so you probably didn't know any better. What I do in my territory is none of your damn business, got it? I'll let it slide just this once, since you're still new to this. In the future, don't come hunting here for demons ever again."

"I will make no such promises."

Kyouko narrowed her eyes. "You…do you even know what you're saying?"

"You are trash, Kyouko. You have less decency than the demons you kill. I have always been a pacifist and now it is my greatest regret. I had hoped you would at least keep control of your territory, but I was a fool, and now this innocent child has paid for my foolishness. I will not make the same mistake twice.."

Shaking with rage, Kyouko thrust her spear forward, its metal tip poised directly towards Mami's heart. "That's a declaration of war."

"I had hoped to settle this peacefully, but it seems you will answer to nothing but force."

"About time you dropped the nice girl act," Kyouko sneered, blood pounding in her ears. In an instant she became aware of every minute detail of the battlefield. They stood thirty feet apart. The ground was wet from recent rain, and most likely slippery. The setting sun was behind her, out of her eyes. Mami would be tired from just fighting a demon.

"I prefer it this way," she continued, readying her spear. The first few seconds would be the most crucial. "You've been bothering me ever since I first laid eyes on you. There's just something about that smug face of yours that irritates me. I'll rip your head from your shoulders."

"Then let us begin."

If Mami felt any fear she didn't showed it. Kyouko dashed forward, clearing half the distance between them in a single leap. The blonde was most likely a ranged attacker, she thought, judging from the musket at her feet. She would be poor in melee combat. As long as she could get within striking distance, victory would come easily.

Two muskets materialized in the blonde's hands. There was a sound like splitting thunder and the air was suddenly ripe with the scent of gunpowder. Kyouko caught two flashes of silver. The first bullet arced from her right, the second from her left. Leaping forward, she easily sailed over both, her red hair flying behind her like a pennant. When she landed her spear came hurtling down with her. The thirty feet between them had vanished in less than a second. Mami brought up both muskets over her head to block, but she was slow, too slow, and the redhead could practically taste the victory on her lips as her spear carved the blonde from neck to navel, its metal tip scattering droplets of blood into the air.

She clicked her tongue. It had been too shallow.

At the last minute Mami had leaned back, allowing the spear to pass right through her uniform to gently graze the soft flesh beneath. Clutching her chest, Mami brought up her muskets for a second volley, but Kyouko was determined not to give her the chance. She jabbed her spear forward, this time aiming for the tender meat of her stomach. There was the grinding of metal against metal. Mami's gun shattered under the force of the spear, but her block had bought her enough time. Her other musket discharged with a sound like clashing cymbals. Kyouko fell down with a gasp, clutching her broken shoulder.

She heard the sound of footsteps as the blonde retreated a safe distance. Clenching her teeth, Kyouko stood up again, wielding her spear with her other arm. Her right shoulder burned as if it was on fire; her Soul Gem outshone the sun as its magic slowly reknit her flesh.

"Let us end it here," Mami called. "I have no wish to kill you. If you would – "

"Shut up!" Kyouko leapt forward again, murder writ on the dilation of her eyes, the snarl of her lips. Her spear knocked the first bullet out of the air and cleaved the second cleanly in two. The third bullet sank into her right leg. The fourth smashed into her ribcage, white splinters of bone poking out beneath the skin, but the pain was a mere afterthought. She rushed onwards, faster, faster, and suddenly Mami's wide, saffron eyes were staring into her crimson own. Ignoring the searing pain, Kyouko gripped her spear with both hands and swung it in a diagonal slash across the blonde's chest. Mami crossed her muskets to defend herself, but it had been a feint all along, and quick as lightning, Kyouko reversed her grip, slamming the butt of her spear against the blonde's unprotected side.

She crumpled to the floor like a marionette with its strings cut. Dimly, Kyouko registered something red sprouting from the ground, but it wasn't important when victory was so close, when Mami lay before her as defenseless as a child. Kyouko stood over the struggling blonde with her mouth in the rictus of a smile, both hands clenching the shaft as she bore her spear down point-first to deliver the coup-de-grace. The metal was a blur as it sang through the air and – impossibly – stopped an inch from Mami's skull.

Red ribbons wrapped around Kyouko's body. Where had those ribbons come from? Her spear shuddered in its effort to drive the final length forward. Kyouko roared with anger, snapping the ribbons one by one, but the chance had passed and Mami was on her feet again. Unsteadily, she tottered on both legs, clutching her side where the flat end of the spear had hit her with enough force to rupture the organ. With a final burst of strength, Kyouko tore free of the last of the ribbons. Mami stood an arm's length away, the black muzzle of her only musket staring down at the redhead like a bottomless maw. Her finger tightened around the trigger, but Kyouko was already rushing forward once again, her spear tip flashing like quicksilver as it flew to impale the snow-white flesh of Mami's chest.

"Tiro…

Time slowed to a crawl. The gun, or the spear? Mami's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, but the spear was already so close, four inches, three inches, two one ze…

"…Finale!"

Kyouko screamed. The bullet tore through her left side, completely vaporizing everything between her shoulder and her thigh. Her left arm hung by a thin strand of muscle. The force of it knocked her backwards through the air like a rag doll, her spear ripped from her hands. A gossamer mist of blood followed her flight. She skidded once, twice, three times, before finally coming to a stop in a cloud of dirt, clutching the remains of her left side and howling in pain.

"…kill you for this! I'll rip your throat out, smear your guts on the ground, gouge out your eyeballs and feed them to…"

"Enough…Kyouko." Mami's voice was tired as she limped towards the prone redhead. She clutched her chest with one hand, blood welling up between her fingers. "You've lost. No more."

"I'll never lose as long as I draw breath," Kyouko spat.

Something that might have been a laugh rattled in Mami's throat. "Even our bodies can only take so much punishment. You have lost, Kyouko. All I have to do is put one final bullet into your skull and then this madness will finally end."

"Then do it," Kyouko howled. Waves of pain assaulted her like the relentless tide beating against the shore, there and back again, there and back again. She could touch her own heart through the wound. "Go ahead. Kill me. You're no saint."

"Who knows how many people you've killed? How many innocent lives you've fed to demons to sate your own greed? Will it be enough? How many more will I save if I end your life now?"

Kyouko met her pitying gaze with all the strength she could muster. "But you won't, will you? If you do then it means I was right all along. You're no saint. You can't bring yourself to kill me – "

"I can, and I will." Mami placed her musket a hand-length away Kyouko's face. It smelled like blood and ashes. Something like terror gripped Kyouko's heart, something wild and dark and frantic, but she wasn't quite sure what it was because it had been so long since she had last been terrified, so long since that fire all that time ago but this must be terror because she could taste her own salty tears on her tongue.

"Mer…cy…"

"How many people begged you for the same? How many people did you give it to?"

"You're…no saint." Kyouko choked back her tears and wrestled down the terror in her chest. When she spoke her voice was firm again. "Finish it."

The black muzzle of the gun stared at her like an endless abyss. She stared back and swore she would see the bullet. It would not be long now. At least it would end the pain. She had known from the start that it would end like this, and it was at least better to go out with a bang (she chuckled, surprised at herself) then to rot away with a tainted Soul Gem. Maybe she would see her family in heaven. Or did magical girls go elsewhere? It had not been a bad fight. She stared down the endless barrel and waited for the bullet.

The bullet never came. There was a burst of goldenrod and the musket dissipated into the air.

Kyouko's voice was the barest whisper upon the wind. "Why?"

"Because…I am not…you…"

Wide-eyed, Kyouko watched as Mami stumbled, clutching her chest. Her mouth was opened in a perfect 'O,' as if she was surprised her own body was betraying her. She swayed like a reed against the wind before finally collapsing on the dirt. In a golden shower of sparks, her magical girl dress vanished, replaced by a school uniform that was already soaking red.

Her chest had been slashed cleanly open. Pulsating like a lump of burning coal, the wound was a crumpled mess of bone and cartilage, with broken pieces of the metal spear tip still lodged in its recesses. Blood poured from the pulverized flesh. The spear had cleaved through her ribcage and instantly crushed everything in her upper body cavity. It was amazing the blonde had lasted as long as she did.

With the last of her energy Kyouko managed to laugh. It seems she had not been slower after all.

"We'll call this a draw," she murmured, darkness seeping in from every corner. It had not been a bad fight. "But you'll regret not killing me when you had the chance…"

* * *

Six hours later, Kyouko awoke through a haze of pain. Her brain was buzzing like a nest of hornets. Groggily, she cracked open her grimy eyelids into a world in darkness – no, she realized, that was simply the night sky, moonless and starless. She was lying on her back against something cold. Where was she? Bracing herself with her arm, she tried to stand up but the gesture shot a lance of pain through her chest. She fell back down with a cry. Her entire left side felt as if it had been viciously torn away. Because it had, she suddenly remembered. Damn that Mami.

Taking a deep breath, she mustered all her energy and managed to sit upright, resting her weight against her right arm. Her left arm hung uselessly at her side. Below her stretched the tenebrous cityscape of Mitakihara, a million little lights in the darkness. She was on a rooftop somewhere. But after the fight with Mami she had been passed out on the playground. Who had carried her here?

No matter. The buzzing inside her brain was insistent as ever; she shakily stood up on two feet, heading towards its source. Though her left side appeared to have been completely regenerated, she could not yet feel her arm – it seems the nerves had not been connected. At least she had one good arm left. She flexed her right hand, her spear materializing in its fingertips. It would have to do. There was another demon in her territory, and this time, nobody was going to snatch it away.

* * *

This had been a terrible, terrible idea.

The demon's claw was a blur as it sang through the air. She barely limped out of the way in time as it smashed the ground, sending bits of rubble flying, but the force of it was enough to knock her off her feet. Her body skid along the pavement, rough gravel mincing her skin. In front of her, the demon advanced with jaws looming.

Picking herself up from the floor, Kyouko leaned against her spear for support and cursed her own stupidity for picking a fight right after she bad barely survived another. Her body was completely drained of energy; it was an effort simply to stand. Even the countless minute scratches were not yet healed by her Soul Gem's magic.

Raising its arm, the demon struck again. It was a massive thing, a sleek, bipedal wolf with arms thicker than legs, its coarse fur bristling like needles. Under the starless night it was difficult to tell where its body started and the surrounding buildings began. A younger Kyouko would've felt pity for the poor beast – it had been a human once, until the hatred in his heart became caviar for darker things and his form bloated into the demon standing before her. What had been his sin? Greed? Lust? Envy?

She had no time to dodge. Desperately, she thrust her spear in front of her, supported by nothing more than trembling arms and prayers – the claw smashed the shaft like bullet a through a toothpick. Its ashen nails found purchase in her stomach. She cried out as it twisted, tearing through her organs like tissue paper. When the claw pulled away it pulled away her intestines with it. They undulated like obese worms in its fist.

Her body fell to the floor with her innards spilling out against the pavement. Her Soul Gem was as dark as cinders; it had taken all of its magic to regenerate the wounds from Mami, and now it lay against her neck like another useless jewel. Even if she somehow miraculously survived this fight, she realized, her Soul Gem would be completely tainted. Perhaps that would be a less painful death.

Darker and darker, the world dimmed as if someone had thrown off the light switch. What she needed was sleep – the blissful embrace of sleep to ease the pain, the exhaustion, the anguish.

Bending down to her body, the wolf stretched open its massive maw, at least six feet in diameter, rows of slavering fangs surrounding an abyssal gullet. She stared down its throat and wondered, absurdly, if it lead to a stomach. Or were its viscera simply caustic umbra? The demon's mouth closed around her like a cocoon.

Putrid walls of flesh and fang encroached from every direction. She squeezed her eyes shut. She pictured the teeth ripping her head from her shoulders, crunching her bones like sticks, chewing on the tough gristle of her flesh. Is this how the great Kyouko dies? Weak and shivering, unable to even scratch her killer? Had her whole family burned to ashes for her to perish as some demon's sustenance?

She opened her eyes into utter blackness. It would not end like this. The broken spear sat heavy in her hands – it had saved her life hundreds of times before, and now it would do so again. With the last of her energy, she thrust the spear tip forward, feeling it finding purchase in some fleshy, writhing thing. Black ichor splashed against her skin. The demon roared, a single hysterical note that came from deep within its throat, and staggered backwards with its mouth agape.

It had been its tongue she had stabbed, she saw. The broken spear shaft was almost entirely submerged within its thick tongue, the metal tip peeking out from the underside. Blood welled up in its throat and spilled out of its mouth. Lurching like a drunken man, the demon thrashed its head from side to side, its massive arms swinging through the air.

Now was her chance. Crawling on all fours, Kyouko slowly edged away from the demon, but she had barely gone two steps before one of its flailing claws clipped her across the shoulder, sending her spinning through the air like pinwheel. She struck the wall of the building behind her hard enough to leave an impression in the brick. Her shoulder dislocated with a crunch.

Her body sank against the floor and this time, did not get up again. Was this the end? Perhaps the demon would ignore her and flee, she thought – but her optimism was immediately dashed. Turning its murderous eyes upon her, the demon suddenly charged, its bestial features contorted in rage, as if killing the one responsible for its wound would alleviate its pain. Its tongue lolled out of its mouth like a bloated caterpillar. The pavement shook with every step. Bracing her back against the wall, Kyouko tried to stand up. She tried to materialize another spear. Her Soul Gem sat black and useless around her neck. She could no more lift a finger than lift a mountain. She stared down the charging demon like a matador at a bull; there was no intelligence, no mercy, no emotion in its sallow pupils save feral instinct. She stared down the charging demon and wondered if this was the end.

A blur against the night sky. She caught the swirl of a cloak, the gleam of a sharpened blade. The demon charged towards her with claws pounding the earth, and then all at once it gave a great, shuddering roar as its body slammed against the pavement with enough force to cleave inches off the asphalt.

A silhouette landed upon its back. Raising a single pale blade against the sky, the silhouette brought it down in a shower of black blood. The demon roared. Frantically, it thrashed its body in an effort to dislodge the intruder, but she held on firm by clutching its fur. Raising another pale blade against the sky, she brought it down again; the monster roared again. Its thrashing became more violent, arms grasping at the elusive figure like a child grasping at a toy just out of reach. She raised her blade again, and again, and again, and the demon's roars became a continuous whine that rose and rose in pitch until her arm came down a final time and all was still.

She disembarked the corpse with the grace of a mountaineer. Piece by piece, the demon's body vanished, leaving behind only a scattering of Grief Seeds that the silhouette gathered with a single sweep of her hand. She started towards Kyouko. Her blade trailed behind her with its edge grinding sparks against the gravel. Kyouko stared at the figure in silence. Had fate had simply traded her death for another? She had already escaped it twice today.

Then, cutting through the stifling air like a razor, the silhouette spoke:

"What the hell are you doing here? Do you even know the condition I found you in? What on Earth made you think you could take on a demon?"

Through the haze of pain Kyouko felt something she could not describe, something that was equal parts relief and anger. She recognized that irascible, petulant tone. She recognized that blade. To think that a complete novice so easily destroyed a demon that almost killed her – to think that a complete novice had just saved her life.

"Your whole left side got blown apart, and here you are, already fighting another demon," the silhouette continued. "Are all other magical girls as stupid as you? You're lucky that I arrived when I did."

Kyouko licked her lips. Her voice was as dry as sandpaper. "Why are you here?"

Sayaka crossed her arms. "That's the first thing you say to me after I save your life? Would it kill you to sound at least a little bit grateful?"

"I never asked for your help."

The darkness obscured her face but Kyouko had no doubt it was incredulous.

"You'd rather die? Do you hate me that much?" She bent down to the redhead and jabbed a finger at her face. "Normal people would say 'thank you' in this kind of situation, you know. Manners are – " she froze, staring at Kyouko's abdomen. The color drained from her face.

"T-That demon really did a number on you."

"Why are you here?" Kyouko asked again. "Are you here to finish what Mami started?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Mami almost killed me. Did she send you to finish the job?"

Sayaka stared at her in disbelief. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I don't know what happened between you and Mami. I have a feeling I don't want to know. She's been unconscious ever since I carried her back to her apartment. Besides, why would I kill you after I just saved your life?"

"You gain nothing by helping me," Kyouko rasped. "It would be better for you if I died."

With a sigh, Sayaka shook her head. "I'll never understand you. Now you want to be killed? Perhaps you've heard of something called compassion. When I see someone in need of help, I go to help them, alright? That's what decent people do, anyway. I don't need any other reason."

"Compassion's only reward is an early grave. I don't trust – "

"Look at your Soul Gem!" Sayaka exclaimed. "Just how much magic did you use today?"

"None of your – what are you doing?"

Reaching into her pocket, Sayaka pulled out a fistful of black cubes. Frail things, almost invisible in the gloom. Bending down to the redhead, Sayaka cupped the blackened Soul Gem in one hand and fed it Grief Seeds with the other.

Such a ridiculous gesture, Kyouko thought, the stupidest thing she had ever seen someone do, because what kind of idiot willingly gives up her Grief Seeds? – then a spasm of pleasure ripped through her body and rendered all thought impossible. Her neck became a pinpoint inferno, liquid fire overflowing from the crown of her head to the tips of her toes. The conflagration coursed through her veins until she feared her flesh would melt. She wanted to scream, to cry out, to bare the naked hole of her throat to the cold winter air – lest the pleasure bottled up inside burst her skin like an overripe fruit.

One by one, the Grief Seeds vanished and her Soul Gem lit up like a firefly. A strangled cry escaped her lips.

"There we go," Sayaka said. "That's all I've got right now. It's not nearly enough for your wounds, but at least you're not in danger of dying any time soon."

The ecstasy vanished as suddenly as it had come, replaced by a dull afterglow. Sayaka was right; it was nowhere near enough. It was a testament to how badly how her body had been damaged that a few simple Grief Seeds could elicit such an overreaction. To recover fully from these injuries would take at least a week, if not longer, but already she could hear the tell-tale hiss, like water thrown against burning metal, that signaled the Soul Gem's regeneration.

Begrudgingly, she muttered, "Thank you."

"So even someone like you can show gratitude. You're welcome, I guess."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You're still asking that?"

"Your Grief Seeds are your life. Giving them to someone else is unthinkable – it's suicide."

"I told you, right?" Sayaka said impatiently. "It's my job to protect everyone in this city, and that includes you. Can you walk?"

"I don't need your – Ow!"

Sayaka had stooped over her, easily picking up her light body in her arms, princess-style. The motion send a stab of pain through Kyouko's body.

"Oh, be quiet," Sayaka said. "It serves you right for picking a fight when your body was almost destroyed."

"What are you doing? Put me down!"

"I can't leave you here in this sorry state, can I? Where do you live?"

Mustering all her energy, Kyouko shoved Sayaka away, but all she managed to do was lay a hand against her arm. The blue-haired girl smiled – the idiot seemed to have taken it as a sign of gratitude.

Kyouko clenched her teeth. "Hotel Okura. Suite Seventeen. You can get in through the window."

Sayaka gave a low whistle. "Okura? That's pretty high-class."

Kyouko said nothing. Lying in the blue-haired girl's arms, she stared up at the starless sky. This had been the second-worst day of her life. First, that blonde had bested her, and now a complete novice had just saved her life – as if saving another magical girl didn't go against every unwritten law, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The humiliation was almost as bad as the physical pain. But still, she was alive – and that was all that mattered. As long as she was alive, she swore, she would repay both of them in kind.

She stared up at the starless sky with blood in her eyes and the taste of ashes in her mouth.

* * *

A/N: Wow, this chapter came out way longer than I expected. Over 7,000 words. This is the first in a series of flashback chapters that'll fill in the blanks between Sayaka and Kyouko's short history.

I know that technically Mami and Kyouko met before the anime (according to drama CD 3, Farewell Story). But since their meeting was almost never alluded to in the anime (I'm quite sure it was decided after the series ended), and since I didn't find out until well after I started this fic, and since it's not even written by the same author as the anime, I decided to ignore it. So, for the purpose of this story, Mami and Kyouko have never met before.

Also, I've gotten some comments about Mami's way of addressing people. Since she's polite, she should typically call other people by their last names, i.e. Akemi-san, Kaname-san, etc. but I thought that writing an entire fic this way would be confusing and needlessly complicated (be honest now, how many of you know what Sayaka and Kyouko's last names are?). Thus, everyone in this fic will be referred to by their first names only.


	5. Something Wicked This Way Comes

Chapter Five: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Resting her chin against her textbook, Sayaka stared placidly at the practice problems. The same question had been running through her brain for the past five minutes. What was the cosine of four-thirds pi? Dimly, she remembered the teacher going over it in class, but it had been so hard to stay awake after patrolling the city for the entire night, and when she told herself she would just rest her eyes for a minute, the next thing she knew was Homura shaking her shoulder and telling her it was time to go home.

Furtively, she snuck another peek at the clock in her room. 11:45. Already? Or should the question should be: Still? Studying was the last thing in the world she wanted to do, but the time left to do it was rapidly running out. She raked her fingers through her hair. Cosine was adjacent over hypotenuse, and the length of…

"Yo."

…unit circle was one. Two pi converted to degrees was…

"What'cha doing?"

…going by the thirty-sixty-ninety rule…

"Psh. Math? When are you ever going to use that?"

"I'm _trying_ to concentrate," Sayaka said tersely.

Kyuko stepped out from behind her, peering over her shoulder. The open window through which the redhead had entered let in a gust of wind that scattered all the loose papers onto the floor. Idly, without even bothering to look at the page number, she riffled through Sayaka's textbook with one hand. Her other hand held a stick of dango, the dumplings still steaming as she popped them into her mouth.

"Stuff's useless," Kyouko said confidently, throwing the textbook over her shoulder. "When are you ever going to use this 'tree-go-no-mi' thing? Wouldn't you rather be doing something fun?"

Sayaka sighed and laid her head against her desk. She knew this was far as her studying would go for tonight.

"It's pronounced 'trigonometry,'" she said, "and I have a test on this tomorrow. What are you doing in my room?"

"Can't a friend go over to another friend's house?"

"Not through the window, at twelve o'clock at night, completely unannounced."

"Funny," Kyouko said with a smirk. "That's how _you_ came to myhouse two days ago."

So she had, Sayaka remembered, her cheeks flushing. She had woken up that morning in Kyouko's arms with a crick in her neck and the scent of carnations in her head. For half a minute she had wondered if she had not gone to heaven, where stained-glass saints peered down at her between rotten timbers. Then she had realized that the pillow her cheek was pressed firmly against was in fact not a pillow but Kyouko's face, and since Kyouko was there, she could not, of course, be in heaven. Getting home after that had been a close call; she had barely managed to slip into her bed when her mother came in to wake her up for school.

"That's different," Sayaka said. "It's a church, not a house, and the government owns it. It doesn't belong to you."

"This house doesn't belong to you, either," Kyouko pointed out. "It belongs to your parents."

"Is that what you came here for? To argue about propertyship?"

Kyouko threw her hands up in mock distress. "Come on, it's been ages since we went out together."

"Not tonight. I'm too tired," Sayaka said, adding a yawn for extra emphasis (Kyouko didn't look convinced). Truthfully, she would like nothing better than to go out with Kyouko for the night, but if she did she knew she would regret it in the morning. "I need to study. If I fail this test next week, I'm in danger of failing the whole semester."

"You can study when we come back."

"And what time will that be?"

Her fang glinted. "Who knows?"

" _Exactly._ "

This would be the point where a sane person would give up and try for another time. Kyouko, on the other hand, didn't even seem to hear her. With a shrug, she hopped on top of the desk, sitting down to face Sayaka and knocking over a stack of notes in the process. Using her teeth, she pulled a dumpling off the skewer, her stocking-clad legs dangling in front of Sayaka's face.

"Isn't Homura in your class?" she said, chewing noisily. "Can't you just ask her telepathically for the answers?"

"That's cheating."

"So?"

Sayaka looked away, a faint tinge of red on her cheeks. "I've asked her for answers on the past three tests we've had. She said that I should try studying for once."

"Got ditched, have you?" Kyouko grinned, jabbing the stick of dango towards her. "You should just quit school already. Leave the numbers and literature to Mami and Homura. People like you and me aren't cut out for learning."

"That doesn't make me feel better at all," Sayaka grumbled. "Besides, lately, Homura hasn't been doing so well in class either. Mami, too. It's all that business with the suicides. If they're not out on patrols, they're combing the news or hacking the police database for information. Actually, I'm surprised they still manage to score so well considering how little free time they have."

"They're wasting their time." Kyouko yawned, stretching her arms towards the ceiling. "How do we even know it's a demon, anyway? It could just be some weird new cultural phenomenon. Like ganguro, but slightly more tolerable."

"Forty-seven suicides in two weeks?"

"Alright, so it's a bit unlikely," Kyouko confessed, "but my point still stands. They're getting absolutely nowhere for all the effort they're putting into it. I've yet to see a demon who's remained hidden forever. It'll reveal itself eventually no matter what we do, and it doesn't matter to us if some no-names get offed before that happens."

"It puts my heart at ease knowing that magical girls like you are in charge of protecting the world."

"You're starting to sound like Mami," Kyouko said, grinning. She gestured to the window with her dango stick. "Now, are we going to head downtown, or are we just going to sit here all night? I have eighty thousand yen to burn and nothing else to do."

A drop of sauce splattered against Sayaka's cheek. Annoyed, she brushed it off. "I don't want to do either. The test – Gah!"

Leaning forward, Kyouko bent down to lick the sauce off her finger. "I never waste food," she proclaimed, licking her lips.

"T-That's – What are you – " Sayaka turned her head away, her face as red as Kyouko's hair. "I need to study!"

"Screw studying. It's your night off from patrols and I'm determined to make the most of it."

"It might be _my_ night off, but what about you? Shouldn't you be out right now, hunting that demon before Mami or Homura steal it away from you?"

"That thing's never going to be found. You think I'm just going to bump into it? Besides, if it shows up, I'll know no matter where I am."

"I need to study."

"Let's go already."

"Didn't you hear a single word I said?" Sayaka crossed her arms, unable to meet Kyouko's eyes. "Just because you don't go to school doesn't mean the rest of us can take it easy. Failing this test means I'll fail the whole semester."

"Oh, I heard, all right." Kyouko leaned forward so close that her grin dominated even Sayaka's peripheral. "But you forget – I killed that demon for you the other day. So now you owe me one."

"That was Mami who asked me to ask you!"

"And she owes me a favor, too."

Sayaka pulled on her hair in frustration. Kyouko's was such a petty, absurd argument – she was like a child proudly exploiting some loophole to get her mother to buy her a toy. There was a fallacy in there somewhere, she was sure of it…so why is it that she couldn't think of a single comeback? The redhead had such an air of confidence, of easy arrogance, that Sayaka's common sense dissolved and left her grasping for words. Not that common sense ever worked against Kyouko anyway.

And just slightly, Sayaka admitted to herself, maybe she had been looking forward to the whole thing.

"Fine," she said at last. She stood up and grabbed her coat from her closet. "But after this we're even. And if I fail the test next week, which I definitely will, it'll be _your_ fault."

* * *

Downtown Mitakihara gleamed with the lights of two million nocturnal dreams. Even so late at night it was buzzing with activity, people swarming the sidewalks in living streams of clattering boots and laughter. The incandescent street lamps lit the sky as bright as day. A palpable energy hung in the air, like the barely-visible spark between two ends of a split wire, ushering the crowd with a manic sense of purpose. Two middle school girls walking together earned a few strange glances, but it was winter, it was Mitakihara, and most everyone walked through the throngs blithely indifferent to anything except the night ahead.

How many times have they walked down this same street? Kyouko had only been in Mitakihara for three weeks, yet Sayaka felt as if they had known each other their entire lives. _She's influencing you,_ Mami had told her in the tone of a mother protecting her child from strangers. Sayaka did not take it as the warning it had meant to be. Being next to Kyouko was like constantly pausing at the crest of a rollercoaster, reveling in the few scant seconds before the drop.

Slightly uncomfortable in the crowd, Sayaka stuck close to Kyouko, marveling at her poise. Resting in that deceptively delicate frame was a confidence evident in every stride of her legs and flip of her hair. Sauntering down the sidewalk, talking animatedly with her head held high, Kyouko didn't look like she was only fourteen – or was she older? Magical girl clinology could be a tricky thing. The four of them were normal enough, but there were legends, half-whispered rumors passed down among their secret coterie, that spoke of centuries-old magical girls who looked not a day over their teens.

"…fantastic sushi place on 30th street," Kyouko was saying. "We can go grab some food there."

She had finished her dango long ago and was now munching on one of her ubiquitous Pocky sticks. The winter season had finally forced her into something besides her usual jean shorts and jacket, but just barely – her only acquiescence to the temperature had been a pair of furred boots and black nylon stockings. Shivering in her scarf, overcoat, and mittens, Sayaka wondered if such resistance, too, came with greater magical power.

"You look cold," Kyouko observed.

"I am," Sayaka said. Stepping closer to the redhead, she linked an arm through hers and pulled her closer. "There we go. Much better."

Kyouko had an inordinately smug grin on her face. "We look like a – "

"Oh, be quiet. I don't even know why I let you drag me around when it's so cold out."

The clear glass windows of the shops reflected the light of the lamps. Rarely did the two of them go out with a plan in mind. Kyouko went wherever her caprice dictated, dragging Sayaka along with her, and there was always enough to do for that to be the best plan of all. The entertainment district of Mitakihara never slept – under the stars it thrived, lines of restaurants, clubs, shops, and theaters following right after another, endless lines stacked against each other. Here was a street vendor plying takoyaki in the hopes of beating his daytime competitors. There was a glittering bauble shop whose trinkets arrested Sayaka's eyes. Over there was a theater's brilliant neon sign that would eclipse even the sunlight.

A small jewelry store sat on the corner of 33rd street. Kyouko paused before it, jerking Sayaka to a stop. Its mottled brick walls, flaring parapets, and quaint decor gave it the appearance of a building from an earlier era. With so many more glamorous buildings around, nobody paid the homely shop much attention. Sayaka, too, wouldn't have given it a second thought (besides, its merchandise was way out of her price range), had not something caught the redhead's eye.

"I saw this earlier today," Kyouko said, bending down to the glass. She pointed to a necklace on display. "I was thinking it'd look great on you."

"Too expensive," Sayaka said dismissively. "With my allowance, it'll only take me maybe five years to save up for it."

"You want it?"

"It's fifty thousand yen. I won't accept a gift like that from you."

"Oh come on, money like that is nothing."

"You got that money from robbing ATMs."

"Who cares where I got it?"

"If I let you buy it for me, it'll be like I was the one who stole the money."

"That's the dumbest thing I've heard!"

"It's not dumb," Sayaka said exasperatedly. "It's just, and it only sounds dumb to you because you're so criminal. It's about time you stopped stealing. With all the free time you have, you could get just as much money by actually working."

"There you go again with that self-righteous attitude of yours," Kyouko grumbled. "You're the only person I know who's ever turned down free stuff." She pressed her forehead to the glass, her eyes cloudy and indecipherable. "Well, maybe I'll just buy it for myself. Such a pretty thing, see how it glances in the light! Don't you think it looks…"

The necklace was a simple silver loop attached to a pink gemstone – a garnet, or topaz, most likely. When it was worn, the gem would dangle right over the wearer's heart. Sayaka stared at it curiously. A modest thing, yet looking at it, she could feel something half-buried in her brain struggling to surface, a memory flitting around the edge of consciousness. There was something about the gem that looked…

"Familiar," Sayaka finished for her. "It looks familiar."

Kyouko turned her head sharply. "You too?"

"You mean you also think it looks…familiar?"

"I don't know. It's…" Kyouko bit her lip, as if struggling to put her feelings into words. "…strange. Maybe I'm just going crazy, but I think I've seen it before."

The gem was cut in the shape of a circle, perfectly smooth without a single facet to distort its color. It was definitely a topaz, Sayaka decided. The outer edge was a light shade of pink that got darker and darker towards the center until it was almost purple. Under the light of the lamps, its surface shimmered like it was underwater. Pretty, certainly, but nothing more. Why had Sayaka imagined that pink gem set around another girl's neck? Something about it was nostalgic, but bitterly so, like the memory of a cherished childhood fading in the twilight of maturity. The gem steeped the bright, crowded street in every shade of melancholy.

"Do you ever remember?" Sayaka said softly.

"Remember what?"

"Remember – " Desperately, she struggled to catch the wisp of memory, feeling it slide through her fingers as incorporeal as a moonbeam. " – something? Do you ever feel like you have forgotten something important? So important that it's changed your life, the most important thing in the world, but no matter how hard you try you just can't remember what it was?"

Kyouko looked at her strangely. "Are you feeling alright?

"Do you – never mind," Sayaka said. She herself wasn't sure what she was talking about. "It's nothing important."

Or it could be the most important thing in the world. All she had to guide her was a vague feeling in the final moments before she drifted to sleep, a momentary reflection in the mirror beside her own, a half-remembered name on her lips one moment that was gone the next. Her imagination might have been responsible for it all. It probably was just that. But sometimes she wondered.

"So you want it or not?" Kyouko said. "Actually, scratch that – I'm buying it for you. Consider it a late Christmas present."

"You don't…" Sayaka trailed off feebly. The truth was she _did_ want it. Like an unexpected meeting with a long-forgotten friend, the gem seemed to wink at her when light drifted across its surface.

"This is no time to be modest," Kyouko said, smirking. "Though if you really wanted to repay me, you could give me a k – "

The sound of a gunshot split the sky.

Sayaka jumped backwards as if struck. For a moment the necklace twinkled on the edge of her vision, and then it disappeared beneath a crowd that had suddenly exploded in a flurry of clattering boots and flailing arms. Several women screamed. People were stampeding away from the gunshot, people were stampeding towards it, people were shoving through each other in a desperate attempt to flee, and, rising above the din, a high-pitched voice was shrieking:

"He _shot_ himself! Just pulled out a pistol and did it! Look at the blood! He _shot_ himself!"

Unsteadily, Sayaka swayed on her feet, holding onto Kyouko's shoulder for support. Her skull had exploded in a burst of white noise. It was like someone had started a chainsaw in the delicate stuff of her brain, or like a swarm of bees had found nest in her head. Then, just as she felt she was about to faint, the noise was gone. All that remained was a throbbing headache.

"What was…that?" Sayaka asked dimly.

The redhead shook her head. Through the haze of dizziness, Sayaka imagined she saw Kyouko's Soul Gem incandesce with magic in the darkness.

"That was nothing. Don't worry about it."

"You _must_ have felt that!"

"Let's just ignore it, alright? We can go grab some sushi – "

"That was a demon!"

"It's already gone by now, so there's no point – "

"It came from down the street!" Sayaka was already breaking into a run, dragging the redhead behind her. "Let's go!"

"Crowded places, just my luck – augh, Sayaka! Wait up!"

The gunshot had been very close, no more than half a block away. They fought their way through the crowd, a mass of roiling bodies that pressed against them like a cider press, and at last pushed their way through a circle of stunned onlookers surrounding a corpse. At the sight of it, Sayaka flinched.

It was the corpse of a policeman wearing the navy-blue uniform of the local guard, in his mid-thirties, perhaps, though it was hard to tell since a large part of his head had caved in. He lay on his back against the sidewalk, his limbs splayed out like a pinned butterfly. A pistol was clutched in his hand. Sayaka could still see the ragged hole near the neck where the bullet had entered through the base of his jaw, obliterating everything in its path before exiting through a much larger hole in the back of his skull. Bits of flesh, blood, and brain were splattered against the ground. He had not died peacefully.

Sayaka looked away. Nearby, someone vomited.

"What happened here?" Kyouko brusquely asked a stunned-looking woman. "Did he really commit suicide?"

The woman spoke as if speaking to herself. "The policeman – he was just walking along the road, as normal as anyone else, then – then…Oh, it was terrible!"

"So? What next?"

"He _twitched_! His arms jerked upwards, his legs convulsed – he looked like one of those prisoners on TV, when they put him on the electric chair. His whole body gave a spasm and then he didn't move for a few seconds. I was about to ask him if he was alright, if he needed an ambulance, and then – and then that was when he pulled a gun from his holster…the blood – " the woman's eyes bulged wide, then, with a soft sigh, she collapsed against the floor.

"Troublesome," Kyouko muttered.

"This is the demon we've been looking for," Sayaka said excitedly. "It fits the MO perfectly. It can't have gotten far, if we search – "

"Don't bother."  
"What?!"

Kyouko waved her arm dismissively. "Do you sense it anywhere nearby? We both felt it for a split second right before the gun was shot, but now it's gone. Completely. Even _I_ can't detect it at all, and you of all people should know how sharp my senses are. I don't know how it got away, but there's no point in searching for it now. I _told_ you this was a waste of time."

"B-But – "

"Sayaka…" Kyouko sighed. "Think back to the forty-seven other suicides. Were we able to find anything back then? As must as I hate to admit it, we can't deal with this demon right now. We don't know how it kills, why it kills, or how it always manages to appear and disappear before any of us arrive. This thing is more of a ghost than a demon. You can spend the rest of the night searching for it, or you can go grab some sushi with me at the restaurant down the street. Which do you choose?"

"We can't let it get away!"

"You're being foolish, Sayaka. There's a difference between taking action and blindly stumbling along. _"_

"I can't just sit here doing nothing when that thing's still out there, already hunting for new prey!" Sayaka said angrily. She turned around and began to walk away. "It must still be around here somewhere. If I can just – "

Kyouko seized her arm. Her grip was as rigid a spear impaling her flesh. "Sayaka, stop."

"Let me go!"

"And what will you do if you find it? Will you fight it? Alone? Or will you cry to me for help? I will not help you. This thing is bigger than both of us. Fighting it now, with no knowledge of its abilities, is guaranteed death."

Clenching her teeth, Sayaka whirled around, resolute, her free hand balled into a fist. She gazed steadily into Kyouko's eyes, determined to make her stand – then she saw the expression on her friend's face. Naked desperation mingled with agony in the draw of her brow, the grimace of her mouth, the set of her jaw. It was a pleading expression, not the expression of an officer holding back an inexperienced rookie, but the expression of a mother begging her child not to commit a mistake that would ruin her life.

In an instant Sayaka felt her spirit crushed. When at last she spoke, she spoke very quietly.

"If you're sure…"

"Of course I'm sure," Kyouko said. Her words were a visible sigh of relief in the night air. She let go of Kyouko's hand. "That demon is definitely gone by now, we'll get it next time. Don't worry yourself over it. More importantly, all this running has made me hungry. The sushi place shouldn't be more and five minutes away. First, though, we need stop by the jewelry store. I haven't forgotten about the necklace…"

Closing her eyes, Sayaka took a deep breath, the sharp pine of winter air flowing down her throat. Imprinted on the back of her eyelids, between distant flashes of a topaz, was the broken body of the policeman with his head split open like a watermelon. He was the forty-eighth victim. What had been running through his brain as he pointed the barrel towards his jaw? Did the demon possess his mind? Did it offer him the mercy of narcosis? Or did it simply move his body, leaving his powerless brain cognizant of his own fingers pulling the trigger to end his life?

"Sorry, Kyouko. Maybe some other time."

Sayaka smiled apologetically at the redhead. Exhaustion seized her as precipitously an alarm clock on a school morning. Suddenly she remembered she had gotten less than three hours of sleep per night for the past six nights. Her clothes were too heavy on her flesh; her flesh was too heavy on her bones. It was as if the exhaustion over the past few days had been held back by a dam, and the policeman had been the final drop that sent the whole torrential river crashing through. Her head throbbed as if it was _her_ head that was lying open upon the pavement.

In the distance came the wail of police sirens. Already the people around them were scattering, feet shuffling away with their eyes averted from the corpse. Through the darkening light of the eventide, Kyouko fixed her with a glance that was both understanding and disappointed.

"You sure?" she said.

"I'm sure."

"The sushi is delicious."

"Of course it is."

"We can catch a movie after we eat."

"Maybe later."

"It won't take long."

"Sorry, Kyouko."

"I don't know what Mami's thinking, throwing a rookie on patrols six days a week," Kyouko said angrily. Her pupils flashed bright and hot and bitter – she had been so looking forward to tonight, Sayaka realized, a stab of guilt lancing through her, but it was quickly swallowed by the exhaustion. She would make it up to her some other time.

"Take care of yourself, Sayaka," Kyouko said in a gentler voice. "You're the most delicate of us all."

With a final wave, the two of them parted – Sayaka for home, Kyouko for the restaurant where she would, no doubt, eat enough for both of them. The corpse of the policeman lay bloody on the sidewalk, the topaz on the necklace lay glittering on its pedestal.

* * *

A/N: The demon that Kyouko killed for Sayaka (thus guilt-tripping her) was from the end of chapter 1. I know it's been a while since I updated. Sorry about that, but updates will continue to be slow for a while since I've started a Legend of Korra fic that's eating up a decent portion of my time.


	6. Complications

Chapter Six: Complications

The two of them stood by the school gates under the silver light of a winter afternoon.

"For someone who always harasses Kyouko for being late, Mami's not exactly the most punctual person either," Sayaka grumbled. She glanced at the huge metal clock suspended over the school entrance. 3:45. School had ended twenty minutes ago, and the place was almost empty, now, with only a few stragglers present in the courtyard. They were supposed to meet fifteen minutes ago.

"If she has decided to cancel the meeting, she would have given us prior notice," Homura said.

"That's not what I meant," Sayaka said exasperatedly. "I mean, I'm sure she'll come. I didn't expect her to cancel or anything, but – "

"There she is."

Mami's blonde hair was easy to spot in the trickle of students. As always, she was surrounded by a dense mob of admirers, all of them girls. Sayaka counted at least nine. They flittered around her like fairies, giggling, laughing, chattering, clustering around her like planets pulled into orbit by the sun. Some smiled at her in worship; some smiled at her in love; some smiled at her in jealousy. Mami's own smile was vapid and polite, the smile of someone for whom the expression was the default expression of the face.

"Sayaka, Homura, good afternoon!" she called, running up to them. "Sorry about being late, I had to run an errand for my teacher."

"About time."

Mami turned to her group of girls, an apologetic smile appearing on her face. "See you tomorrow. Thanks for waiting for me."

"No problem, Mami!"

"I'll meet you by the gates again tomorrow morning!"

"You sure you don't want to go karaoke with us?"

Mami waved at them cheerfully as they departed the school gates. Some even returned back into the building. A few shot venomous glares at Sayaka and Homura as they passed – who are _you_ two to monopolize Tomoe Mami? Sayaka resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Once the last of them left, Mami leaned against the school gates, rubbing her eyes like a tired mother who had just put troublesome kids to sleep.

"Nice to see you're as popular as ever," Sayaka said dryly.

"Have you been waiting long?"

"Long enough."

"I'm terribly sorry. You know how those girls are. They actually wanted to walk home with me, but I told them I had other plans."

"If they bother you so much, just tell them to stop."

"It's not too much of a bother, really."

"You _are_ too nice for your own good."

Mami laughed, bare and joyous, not at all like the laugh she used among the girls earlier. "I'm glad you're worried about me, Sayaka, but it should be the other way around."

"None of them know what we _really_ do."

"And I'd prefer they never find out." Mami smiled. "It's not their fault. It's tiring, at times, but as long as they enjoy my company, I don't mind. That's what being a magical girl is all about, isn't it?"

In the distance, past the school building, Sayaka could see the silhouettes of the school's softball team at practice on the baseball diamond. A shadow threw a ball, another shadow swung a bat, a line of shadows stood up and raised their arms. What did those shadows worry about? Did they worry about death? About taking another's life? Even though school had ended, the schoolyard was still alive with the faint laughter of far-off students, but it was a cloudy sort of sound; the distortion held the quality of a tone heard from underwater. A stab of guilt lanced through Sayaka's heart.

"I guess you're right," she said.

"Anyway, we should get going," Mami said, turning away from the school. "Lead the way, Homura. I've been to your apartment before, but Sayaka hasn't."

Several months ago, Sayaka would've wished for the same attention Mami so effortlessly received. To be so popular, to have so many friends, to be praised by everyone she met – wasn't that what a fun high school life was all about? Sayaka smiled wryly. With a shiver, she stuck her hands into the pockets of her coat, her footsteps crunching against the frozen gravel. But that was before Kyubey, before Hitomi and Kyousuke, before Kyouko. When puppy love was still puppy love, when her best friend was still her best friend.

With a shake of her head, Sayaka scattered those memories back into void. She tilted her head upwards. There were better things to think about. Mitakihara's cityscape was dyed a harsh silver by the winter sunlight. The three of them strode through quiet streets, under downcast skies that predicted snow, or sleet, or rain, or maybe nothing at all – you could never tell in Mitakihara. Not like some cities with their silicon biodomes covering the sky, set to display whatever season the citizens voted for. Sayaka preferred Mitakihara's fickleness. She liked the caprice of nature, of waking up every morning not quite knowing whether she needed a jacket or boots or a T-shirt or a sweater or sandals or jeans. All the same, she wished it would snow. It had been two weeks since the last snowfall and she still remembered the sensation of a snowball striking the back of her neck, wet ice trickling down her collar while Kyouko's laughter ran clear and breathless behind her.

"Are you sure she'll come?" Mami asked.

"She'll definitely come. She promised me this morning."

It was the third time today Mami had asked her the same question, and the third time Sayaka had given her the same reply. She wasn't quite sure if the blonde wanted the answer to change.

"You said you two encountered the demon last night?"

Sayaka nodded. "I honestly don't remember much about it, though. It happened so quickly, and the signal was so faint. We saw it near Mita Theater, another crowded place, if that means anything."

"And what were you doing with Kyouko so late at night?" Mami reproached her. "I purposely left you free nights so you can rest, not so you can cavort around until you fall asleep on your feet."

Sayaka turned red. "I-I was…I mean, I didn't want to, I wanted to sleep, but Kyouko – "

Mami laughed. "I'm just kidding, Sayaka. You're certainly free to do whatever you wish in your free time. I understand that all of this is still new for you, and that you need to unwind sometimes. Really, you are doing an admirable job. If you ever feel overwhelmed, Homura and I are more than glad to take over your patrols for a few days."

"You don't need to worry about me," Sayaka said, slightly miffed. "I've been a magical girl for almost a month. I'm sure I can hold my own. Anyway, I don't know much about what happened last night. Kyouko will know more about it than I do."

"Perhaps, but will she talk to us? Despite your reassurances, I'm still not convinced she'll cooperate."

"She will, I think. For this, at least. She knows this thing is too powerful to fight alone. The rest will depend on you."

The blonde pursed her lips. "I have made every effort to be patient with her."

"Patient, sure, but you never take what she says seriously."

"That is because what she says is utterly false."

"The things she says are worth considering – "

"So you agree with her? That we should fight each other and leave this city to the blood-soaked winner?"

"No, of course not," Sayaka said, alarmed. "I could never bring myself to harm any of you. I know you can't do it either. Just…try to think about the things she says, alright? Deep down, Kyouko doesn't want to hurt anyone, either."

"I find that a bit hard to believe."

"I do not think we need her," Homura said. She strode two paces ahead of them and did not turn her head to speak. "Given her personality, she may ultimately hinder us – ."

"Of course we need her," Sayaka said automatically. It had been close – she had almost said _I_ instead of _we_. "She's at least as powerful as you two, and more experienced to boot."

"Experience, huh?" Homura's laughter was a single dead note. It was the first time Sayaka had heard her laugh. "Experience matters far less than you think."

Mami sighed. "Homura has a point. Sometimes, I can't help but feel things would be better with just the three of us."

"Without her, I'd be dead," Sayaka pointed out.

"That's _one_ thing she's done right since she came. It's probably the only thing." Mami's eyes focused on something far-off in the distance. Her tone became reflective. "Honestly, I'm grateful for what she's done, and…really, I want to be friends with her. But it's just so _difficult_. I'm worried about you, Sayaka. Despite how she acts around you, Kyouko isn't as trustworthy as you might think. Her core is too warped – she has suffered, perhaps more than any of us. She's too selfish. When the time comes, she'll definitely choose herself above all others."

"I don't think she will. I know her better than you do."

"Maybe you're right. I won't tell you what to do. But still, be careful, okay? I don't want to lose you. You were my first – " Mami looked away, her breath lingering upon the cold winter air. " – friend."

Sayaka's heart twisted sickeningly in her chest. In that instant she wished that Mami was just some stupid, idealistic blonde, or Kyouko another ruthless, selfish girl. Anything would be preferable to this indecision tearing her breast.

* * *

"You're late!"

For perhaps the first time in her life, the redhead had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Sorry, Sayaka," she said, taking a seat next to the blue-haired girl. "I was going to arrive on time, I swear, but there was this guy selling the most delicious-smelling takoyaki down by fifth avenue, and I hadn't had anything to eat since lunch."

"And you promised me you'd come on time, too," Sayaka groaned. "I was afraid you weren't going to come at all."

"That's alright, Kyouko," Mami said pleasantly. "I hope you enjoyed your meal."

Sayaka tensed, waiting for Kyouko's reaction. Despite her reassurances earlier, it was still impossible to imagine Kyouko and Mami on friendly terms. After all, the last time the two of them had spoken, Kyouko had threatened to kill Mami before storming out of the room. And that had been one of their _better_ conversations.

For several seconds, Kyouko just stared at the blonde warily, her right hand knotted into a fist inside the pockets of her jacket. Then, with a scowl, she muttered, "Thanks."

Sayaka let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. Maybe this would go smoothly, after all.

"Sweet place you got here, Homura," Kyouko continued quickly. "It's very…interesting."

"Interesting" would not have been the word Sayaka chose to describe the raven-haired girl's living room. Impossibly huge, the room was almost completely devoid of furniture save a small table at its center and the circular bench surrounding it, upon which the four of them were seated. A clear white keyboard sat on top of the table. Next to the keyboard curled Kyubey, his head resting in his paws almost like just another cat. At Kyouko's entrance, he raised a single long white ear.

The room smelled like antiseptic. The floor was white; the ceiling was white; the only wall was white. The other three walls of the rectangular room were actually liquid-gel LED displays, covered top to bottom by images and text concerning demons. At the forefront, occupying the center wall with photographs as large as doorframes, were the forty-eight suicide victims. Some, like the policeman, had shot themselves with a gun; some had hung themselves, some had drank poison; and some, lacking the necessary tools, had simply resorted to biting their tongues or repeatedly bashing their heads against the wall until their brain matter had leaked out. Gruesome things, photographs not available to the public, photographs meant only for the police investigators. Sayaka wondered how Homura had gotten a hold of them. She stared at the stainless steel table and tried very hard not to look.

"Thank you," Homura said.

Taking a sip of her tea, Sayaka watched Kyouko pounce upon the pastries in the middle of the table. There was still a smudge of takoyaki jam on her left index finger. That's one thing that would never change, Sayaka thought. Demons may devour Mitakihara, Soul Gems might blacken to ash, the world can vanish in a day - but Kyouko would always remain hungry.

Mami cleared her throat. "Let us begin. This meeting, as you probably already know, is again about the suicides. There have been – "

"Wilfrenough," Kyouko mumbled through a mouthful of food. With a single gulp, she swallowed down the petit four and ran a tongue over her lips. "We already know about all that, there's no point in repeating it. I sure don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Anyway, Sayaka and I encountered it last night. One a.m. Down by the entertainment district. Near the theaters."

Mami smiled indulgently. "Please tell us more about it."

"Didn't Sayaka already tell you?"

"She did, but we would like to hear your version of the events. Isn't that right, Sayaka?"

She nodded.

"The demon possessed a policeman. He shot himself. That's it, really." Kyouko shrugged. "It happened in plain sight, too, caused a huge commotion. By the time we arrived, the policeman was already dead. The entire thing took maybe five seconds total. The demon's presence wasimpossible to track down. It was there and gone in an instant – " Kyouko snapped her fingers " – just like that. I couldn't detect it all."

Mami's shoulders sagged. "Your account is identical to Sayaka's. I had hoped you had learned something more."

"Most curious." Kyubey stood up, stretching back on his hind legs. Beady red eyes focused unblinkingly on Kyouko. "I had not thought it possible that such a powerful demon could remain undetected from one as skilled as you, especially in such close proximity, and so subtly that you could not lift a finger. Did you do nothing else?"

"Of course not," Kyouko snapped.

"I see."

Homura's fingers tapped rapidly upon the keyboard. The central wall flickered, then a single photograph enlarged to prominence. Sayaka flinched. It was the policeman, lying down on the sidewalk with his head split open and the blood pooling outwards in viscous tendrils. The picture had been taken minutes after his death – perhaps Sayaka and Kyouko could've been in the image, if the camera had zoomed out a bit more. With the picture the size of the entire wall, the veins of his brain were bigger than caterpillars.

"Yeah, that's the guy," Kyouko said. She popped a profiterole into her mouth. "These are really good, by the way. Did you make them, Homura?"

The black-haired girl nodded.

"I figured. They're not as sweet as what Mami makes, but I like it better this way, I think – "

"Don't you know anything else about it?" Mami pressed. "Any clue as to where it went after it killed the policeman? How it managed to hide its presence? How it could vanish so quickly?"

Kyouko smirked. "You mean you haven't figured it out yet?"

"You almost sound like you have," Mami said coldly.

"Maybe I have."

Sayaka frowned. Kyouko had told her nothing about this. She glanced at Kyouko, wondering what she was planning. The redhead was arching back lazily, one arm propping herself up while her other hand dangled a vanilla wafer over her mouth. For all the world, she looked like she was talking about the weather instead of something that could potentially wipe out an entire city.

"Then explain. Please," Mami said.

"Oh, let me savor this. Two straight-A students, the brightest of Mitakihara Middle School, outsmarted by a dropout? Come on now, are you even trying?"

"Kyouko…" Sayaka began.

"Relax, I'm just joking." Kyouko popped the last of the wafer into her mouth and wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve. "I had my suspicions for a while, but I spent all last night thinking about it and finally figured it out this morning. It all seems so obvious, now – the appearance, the disappearance, the complete vanishing act. Honestly, how you haven't figured it out yet is beyond me – "

Sayaka jabbed her sharply in the ribs.

"Alright, alright, I'll get on with it, then. It's simple. The demon survives by possessing multiple people. It causes its host to commit suicide, then once its host is dead, it immediately seeks out another host."

"Impossible," Mami said immediately. "I've never head of a demon possessing more than one person."

Kyouko tapped a thin finger against her forehead. "Use that head of yours. This is the only theory that fits. We can never detect if someone is possessed by a demon – we can only detect a demon when it actually takes full control of the host. Hell, I'm not sure if the person possessed even knows what's going on. It's pretty common for demons to lie dormant inside its host's body for months or even years, feeding off the weakness and insecurity in his heart until it builds up enough strength. When it finally matures – well, I'm sure you've fought enough of them to know what happens next. That will explain why we can never detect this thing despite how powerful it must be by now."

"What you felt last night – "

"Yup. We detected the demon once it actually took control of the policeman. Poor guy had no clue what was coming. After he was dead, the demon then immediately possessed someone else, becoming dormant again – a perfect vanishing act. The cycle will repeat."

"Then the reason the suicides only appear in crowds – "

"Law of probability. Demons can only possess those who are mentally weak or have just been affected by some huge tragedy. It's much easier to find a suitable host in a large crowd." Then, a tad too smugly, "I _told_ you it didn't mean anything."

"This defies all we know," Mami said, crossing her arms defiantly. She bit her lip. "Is…Is such a thing even possible?"

Sayaka stared at the corpse on the monitor. The scene played back in her head like a videotape. The policeman is walking along, glad to finally be returning home after a long shift. Suddenly, his left arms jerks upwards, his left leg freezes, his neck twists one hundred and eighty degrees, his right hand goes for the holster. Like a puppet with its strings cut, the woman had said – that must be the exact moment the man's will was no longer his own. Then there is the gun, the gunshot, and the bullet. His life force vanishes in an instant as sustenance for the demon. In Sayaka's mind, it is a large mouth, fang-filled and formless, snickering as it slowly casts its gaze for yet another victim…

"It's possible, I think," Sayaka said. "It's at least worth considering."

"See, Mami? Listen to the two people who were actually there last night."

Kyubey tilted his head in a gesture almost akin to thoughtfulness. "An intriguing hypothesis. A tad fantastic, but not impossible. Perhaps not even improbable. Our current knowledge of demonkin is limited. Such a demon as Kyouko described would be novel, but far stranger things have happened. When it comes to the realm of magic, nothing is ever quite impossible."

"It fits the current train of events," Homura agreed, "but without concrete evidence, it is still nothing more than a hypothesis."

"What other evidence do you need?" Kyouko snapped. "You got something better?"

"No, we don't," Mami said firmly. "However, moving forward on a hypothesis supported by only circumstantial evidence is never a wise move. Furthermore, assuming this theory of yours is true, it still doesn't get us anywhere. The demon could be inside any of the two million people in Mitakihara. How can we possibly find it?"

"What if I told you I had a plan?"

"Then I would like to hear it."

Kyouko leaned back, supporting herself on her arms. She gazed levelly into Mami's face, did not move, did not even touch the half-finished strawberry tart in front of her, and though her eyes were focused on Mami it was obvious she was staring into emptiness. The sounds of the world became muted; there was only the static of the monitors. Sayaka recognized the expression on her friend's face. It was an expression of rare intense concentration. It was the expression of someone contemplating a decision that would change her life. It was also, strangely enough, reminiscent of a fox staring at a hutch of rabbits and considering which one it should take for dinner.

When at last the redhead spoke, it was almost anticlimactic.

"What is the state of your Soul Gems?"

Mami blinked. "Why do you want to know that?"

"Call it pragmatism. If we're going to work together, we should at least know each other's strength. Mine's at ten percent."

"Kyouko…" Sayaka stood up from the table, grinning from ear to ear. "You mean you've finally decided to work with everyone?"

"I haven't decided anything," Kyouko scowled. "Not with _them_ , anyway. But even I know this thing is strong, too strong. So just this one time, maybe."

"While I am very glad you have finally come to your senses," Mami said, her eyes narrowing suspiciously, "I still don't understand how this brings us any closer to finding the demon."

"Before I tell you my plan, I need to make sure you guys are actually going to be of any use when we fight. I don't have time to lug around dead weight in battle."

Three sets of eyes focused on the blonde, waiting. Her face was flawlessly calm. Sayaka's breath caught in her throat. This was what they had been waiting weeks for, ever since that first ill-fated meeting with Kyouko so long ago. Sure, Kyouko had said it was to be just this once, but a month ago she wouldn't have even considered the idea, and who was to say where this will lead to in another month still? A shadow Sayaka hadn't even realized existed lifted from her heart. The four of them, united against the darkness, unsung heroes that protected Mitakihara from whatever monstrosities would threaten its peace. It was almost too beautiful to be true, almost too beautiful to even wish for. All that was left to do was for Mami to…

"My Soul Gem is at forty percent," Mami said at last.

"Mine is also forty percent," Homura said.

Sayaka beamed. "And mine is – "

"Oh, I already know you're at thirty," Kyouko said. Under the glare of the monitors, her smile revealed twin rows of fangs that glinted like steel daggers. "Forty percent corruption is a tad high, but really, you two are powerful, very powerful. It should be enough. Probably. As long as we all work together, we'll defeat it, no sweat. And, of course, we'll split the Grief Seeds afterwards. You don't have a problem with that, right?"

Mami took a sip of her tea, obscuring her face behind the teacup. "You certainly are much more agreeable today."

"This will be the only time. Don't count on it."

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

Kyouko shrugged. "I can't defeat this thing alone. This way, I'll get at least some Grief Seeds instead of none. By my estimates, if we kill this thing, it'll drop enough Grief Seeds to fully cleanse all of your Soul Gems, with enough left over to keep you clear for another few months. In fact, you don't really have much of a choice in the matter. Unless you do something drastic, your Soul Gems will corrupt within the year."

"This sounds almost too good to be true. Is this demon really that powerful?"

"You think I would ask for your help if it wasn't?"

"What are you after?" Homura said flatly. "You have too little to gain, and to offer us – "

Mami held up her hand. The raven-haired girl fell silent.

"Please, tell us your plan. You said you had one, correct? We will hear you out."

"It's simple, really," Kyouko said. "When I said earlier that there's no way to track the demon, it wasn't quite true. Last night, when the demon appeared, I had just enough to time to place a tracer on it – "

"You what!?" Sayaka wasn't even aware she had stood up, had banged her fist on the table so hard the teacups rattled and spilled on the immaculate steel.

"A tracer is a magical construct designed to sense demons over long distances," Kyubey said helpfully. "It requires imparting a portion of your mana into a demon – "

"I know what a tracer is," Sayaka snapped. "I just want to know why _you_ didn't tell me earlier about this! Kyouko, last night you said that the demon had vanished for good, that there was no way to sense it – "

"So I lied. Sue me."

"You – !" Sayaka struggled to control the sound of her voice. "Why did you do that?"

"Indeed," Mami said, glaring at the redhead. "You should've mentioned this to us earlier."

"What was I supposed to do?" Kyouko shot back at Sayaka. "If you had the slightest inkling that we could find the demon, you would've gone after it in an instant. Oh, don't give me that look! We all know you'd rush to fight it without further thought. Do you know what would've happened then? You would be dead."

"You don't know that!"

"You've always been stupidly brave, Sayaka. That hasn't changed, despite all that's happened. If there's even a chance you can save a life, you would charge forward without a second thought."

"What if you messed up? What if your tracer disappeared? We'd have lost our biggest chance to catch this thing!"

"Even still, it was worth your life."

"I wouldn't have died!"

"You think you can fight a demon even I can't take on alone?"

"I would not have gone, if you had told me not to," Sayaka said bitterly. "That's how much I trust you. I though you did the same."

"I would do anything to protect you, Sayaka. A lie is a small price to pay for your life."

Kyouko stared at her defiantly, arms crossed, jaw clenched, eyes narrowed at an angle between anger and arrogance. The confidence in her expression was maddening. Yet every word out of her mouth had been her truth, Sayaka knew. That was what made it so difficult. How do you protect someone you value more than yourself, except by making sure that she stayed away from anything that could possibly bring her harm? Would you harm someone you love, because of love? In her heart Sayaka knew that had their positions been reversed, she would have done the same.

"Tell me, next time," Sayaka said finally, slumping against the bench. And yet she knew the redhead was not completely right. "Tell me, even if you need to knock me unconscious afterwards so I don't do something stupid. I'm a magical girl, just like you. I must learn eventually. I deserve to know."

Kyouko's gaze softened. "I never meant to hurt you. I don't think I ever can."

"You still should have told us earlier," Mami said accusingly. "This was something you should have told us at the beginning, not at the end. Why waste time on so much pointless discussion when you knew all along what was going on? We would have believed you much sooner. How can you expect trust if you do not give it?"

"You should be grateful I even told you guys at all," Kyouko said. In an instant her face returned to that ubiquitous irascible expression. "Without me, you'd still be wracking those empty skulls of yours for the answer. I said it before, didn't I? First I needed to make sure that you guys are worth partnering up with. The last thing I want to do is charge into battle with only two weaklings backing me up."

Mami gripped her teacup so tightly the liquid was rippling, but to her credit, her voice remained calm. "Let us proceed then. You should be able to track the demon now, correct? What do you propose we do?"

"We attack it, what else? Preferably at night time, when there's less people around, since I _know_ how much you dislike collateral damage. Tonight, even, if you want."

"Very well." Mami settled her teacup down on the table. For the first time since the meeting started, a hint of her usual poise returned. "Whether Kyouko's theory is right or wrong, there is no point in waiting. Every minute we wait gives the demon a chance to kill another. It must be tonight."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long break. The main cause of the delay is classes, but just as important is the fact that this chapter was incredibly difficult for me to write. Much of it was written purely for plot purposes, to set up events that would take place later in the story, which contrasts with my usual character-driven style. Still, with the hardest chapter now out of the way, the rest of the story should come easier. The next two chapters will be flashback chapters that wrap up Kyouko and Sayaka's start of friendship.

Also, I've made some changes to the previous chapter in lieu of recent plot developments. It's technically cheating, I know, but that's the advantage of writing stuff online :)


	7. How They Met, Part II

Chapter Seven: How They Met, Part II

The hospital room had white walls and white sheets and white blankets. The entire place reeked of antiseptic, but provisions had been made to make it feel more like home: on the far side, away from the bed and the window, sat a bookcase, and on the windowsill was a fresh vase of flowers. Light sift through the open window onto the stark white sheets. Kyousuke sat upon the bed with the covers over his legs, eyes closed as he listened to sweet Chopin, utterly still, barely breathing.

Sayaka sat by the bed and watched him. This was the best part of the music – the fact that she could watch him without reserve. The gentle light played shadows across his features, made them soft, made the pale skin into the healthy sun-tanned skin she had not seen since his accident. He looked so frail sitting there, as if a wrong note would shatter him like glass. The sound of Chopin through his earbuds was _just_ loud enough for Sayaka to hear it, too. They heard it differently – he listened to the exquisite melody, imagined ghostly fingers in his mind flying through the cadenza, wondered how he could express it better, more beautifully; and she just merely listened to the sounds. But it was pleasant, nonetheless.

The last note faded yet lingered upon the air. Kyousuke opened his eyes and smiled – not at her, but at a composer long deceased.

"That was lovely," he said.

"I'm glad you liked it. You told me 'Chopin' but I didn't know what you wanted, so I just chose a violin solo at random."

"You have a good ear for these things."

She blushed at the compliment. Quickly, she said, "When are you getting out? They can't possibly keep you here for any longer, now that you've healed."

He stretched out his hand, flexed his fingers, watched the skin slide smoothly over bone and muscle. "Soon, the doctors say. Maybe even tomorrow."

"So quickly? That's great!"

He looked out the window to where half the cityscape laid neatly folded. The sunlight filtering through his silver hair cast shadows upon his eyes.

"I still don't know," he said softly. "This shouldn't be possible. Every time I think about what's actually happening I'm afraid to think any further for fear that it's all a dream, that I'll wake up in the same hospital bed with the same dead nerves in my arm. The doctors told me I would never able to play the violin again. I'd even accepted the fact, to an extent…" His hand closed into a fist, opened slowly like a waking embryo. "Who knows? Maybe there is a God out there in the world."

Sayaka smiled saucily. "Maybe He's closer than you think."

"Thank you, Sayaka."

She froze. "F-For what?"

"For helping me through all this. For getting me the songs I wanted to listen to, for coming to visit me in the hospital every week. You're a true friend."

"Y-You're giving me too much credit. I just…" she bit her lip, "…just did what any friend would do."

His smile was worth all the sacrifices in the world.

* * *

"So? What are you doing?"

"I'm reading manga. What does it look like?"

Sayaka's eye twitched. "I'm asking why you're here, reading manga at the same manga café I read at, during the exact same time I come here."

Idly, Kyouko flipped through the pages. "Coincidence. Is that really so hard to believe – "

"Coincidence? Is it coincidence that you've been here for the past three days when I was here? Is it coincidence that you were buying groceries at the same time I went to the store last night? Is it coincidence that you were conveniently at the hospital when I was visiting Kyousuke on Saturday? Why are you following me!?"

"Thinking the world revolves around you is the first sign of narcissism, you know."

"Aaagh!" Sayaka clutched her hair. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"You saved my life the other day. I said I'll repay you in kind."

"That's why you're following me?" Sayaka said in disbelief. "You think that I might accidentally get run over by a car or something?"

"I don't understand you." Carelessly, Kyouko tossed the manga over her shoulder, ignoring the curious stares of the other customers. "Why did you save my life? I hate you, I made it perfectly clear when we met. In fact, I would love it if you and your friends are all dead. Yet you still saved me. I can't stand it. It leaves an awful taste in my mouth, like I just ate a plate of bitter squash. I've never been in someone else's debt before and I intend to return things to that state as soon as possible."

"Well, you can put your mind at ease, because you don't owe me anything. Actually, you following me around is more of a pain than anything else, you know?"

Kyouko didn't even seem to hear her. "You're a strange one. Why do you try so hard to be normal? That girl who's around you all the time – Hiyaka? Hisashi? The green-haired one, you know who I'm talking about. And that boy in the hospital! Watching the two of you turns my stomach. The entire thing is so nonsensical I wonder if maybe I hadn't died after all."

"Don't pry into my life. It's none of your goddamn business."

"You cannot last like this. In your heart, you, too, know this. You live in separate worlds. They are normal people, and _you_ – you have enough power slaughter an entire army, if you're ever in the mood. They can never understand you – "

"Shut up!" Sayaka grabbed Kyouko by the shoulders, so tightly that the fabric left indents when she finally let go, breathing heavily, her entire body shaking with the effort to not throttle the red-haired girl on the spot. Kyouko stared back impassively.

"You don't know anything. I value Kyousuke and Hitomi more than anything else in the world. Someone like you, a pathetic excuse for a human, a selfish brat who has never cared for anyone in her entire life except herself, will never understand what I feel. They mean more to me than my own life. Don't talk down to me like you know me. You don't know anything."

Sayaka clenched her jaw, waiting defiantly for the snide remark that was bound to follow. But Kyouko simply stared at her, her expression as placid as a summer sea. There was no trace of anger or irritation on her face. She didn't even seem to be so much looking at Sayaka as through her. It was pity, Sayaka realized suddenly. The emotion in those crimson eyes was pity.

"You remind me of someone I knew once," Kyouko said softly. "She was stupid, naïve, and believed she could change the world for the better."

Despite herself, Sayaka found herself asking, "What happened to her?"

"She failed. No trace of that fool exists."

* * *

"She's like that all the time!" Sayaka said, jabbing a forkful of food forward. "She always talks like she knows everything, like I'm a grade schooler. It's infuriating!"

Hitomi laughed, covering her mouth with her sleeve. "She seems like a rather interesting person."

"She's a terrible person. The most selfish, evil, ignorant, rude person I know. How someone like _her_ got to become a magical – I mean…"

"A what?"

"A…a student," Sayaka said hurriedly. "She's so stupid I'm surprised she managed to pass the entrance exam."

Tapping a finger against her chin, Hitomi said, "Mitakihara Prep does have rather high standards, if I remember correctly. Even if it _is_ on the other side of the city, I think I would like to meet her some time. She sounds interesting."

"Believe me, you don't," Sayaka mumbled through a mouthful of food. Lunchtime was Sayaka's favorite part of the school day – a slightly unfair comparison, perhaps, given how dull the rest of the school day was. The two of them had pushed their desks together inside the classroom to create a makeshift dining table. On top, Sayaka's bento already stood empty.

Swallowing the last of her food, Sayaka continued, "I help her out _one_ time, and you know what she said to me afterwards? She said that I would regret helping her! Fine way to thank someone, isn't it? And now she's trying to 'repay' me. I think she wants me to get run over by a car just so she can call an ambulance! I don't even want to know what happens in that twisted brain of hers. Can you believe that we're both magi – er, students? Aargh, it frustrates me to think that she belongs to the same group as me and Mami!"

"I'm sure she has her good points."

"You say that about _everyone_."

"It's true, I think."

"Not for Kyouko, it isn't. She's the only person I know who can make Mami angry. I didn't even think such a thing was possible!"

"Mami, huh?" Hitomi looked away, pressing her hands primly into her lap. "You've been spending a lot of time with Mami and Homura lately."

"A bit, yeah. Anyway, Kyouko seems to be stalking – "

"This is the first time we've had lunch together in quite a while."

"Has it? It's only been a week or so, right?"

"We used to eat together every day."

"Yeah, we did."

Hitomi stared down at her hands, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. "I'm a bit jealous."

Sayaka laughed. "That makes me feel pretty good, you know, to have the prettiest girl in our grade fawning over me."

"B-But that's forbid – "

"That was a joke, a joke." Sayaka waved of her hand. "It turned out we had a lot in common."

Hitomi played with a lock of her hair. "Really? I can't think of three people more dissimilar than you three. Mami's always so popular, and Homura is…you know."

"It's not all about appearances, alright? Even Homura is quite nice once you get to know her."

"How did you become friends?"

"Friends? We just…uh…" An unexpected downside of becoming a magical girl, Sayaka had found out, was how awkward it was to hide from everyone around her. "We just…ran into each other and discovered that we…uh…fate, you know?"

"Riiiiight."

Sayaka looked at her helplessly.

"Okay, okay, I won't pry," Hitomi said. She sighed, but she was still smiling. "I'm glad you're finally making more friends. But promise me that you won't forget about me, okay? I get lonely without you."

"I promise," Sayaka said, and meant it.

She leaned back, basking in the afterglow of a full meal. It really _had_ been a while since she last ate with Hitomi – she had forgotten how pleasant it was to simply talk. Whenever she was with Mami or Homura (and, more often than not, Kyubey), the topic inevitably strayed back to demons and magic. Interesting, of course, but Sayaka wished they talked about less serious things. Protecting the city, fighting demons, saving citizens – these were noble goals, but for her, becoming a magical girl had also been a means to an end. She would much rather _not_ think about the fact that her life was at risk every day.

Tilting her chair backwards, Sayaka rested her head on the desk behind her. She felt pleasantly drowsy.

"That's dangerous, you know," Hitomi said.

Sayaka grinned, though she knew that Hitomi couldn't see it from her angle. "I do far more dangerous things in my free time."

"Would you like to go to the patisserie after school today?"

Sayaka raised an eyebrow. "This is rather sudden. Why'd you ask?"

"Can't a girl ask her best friend to go somewhere? We used to go there every other day, but now I can't remember the last time we did that."

"Not today. Maybe tomorrow."

The green-haired girl rested her chin in her palm. "Mami and Homura again? And here I thought I could at least bribe you with food."

"No, no, not them." Sayaka placed both her hands behind her head, gazing at the distant sky that lay beyond the ceiling. "It's someone else. Someone far more dear."

"I…see."

Hitomi's voice wavered for a brief second, the usual melody of her voice marred by a cracked, jeering note, but it had only been a thirty-second note and in the next tick of the metronome Sayaka was sure she had imagined it.

"I hope you find happiness," Hitomi said, and the distant ring of the schoolyard bell signaled the return of class.

* * *

The demon was a black, writhing thing, a mass of vines surrounding a flower-shaped body. The entire street was a sea of roiling vines groping about like blind fingers, each vine the width of Sayaka's arm and flailing with enough force to smash concrete. Holding her sword in both hands, Sayaka brought it down in a clean sweep, severing a vine that had come snaking through the air. It came apart in a shower of black blood. She leaned against her sword, panting.

"It's no good!" Mami called behind her. "We need to aim for its body!"

Sayaka leapt away just in time as the vine she had cut slammed into the space she had been a second ago. The damn thing had regenerated, like always – if anything, it seemed even _longer_ than before. She sidestepped another vine that had darted from behind her, blocked a third with the flat of her blade and riposte it clean in two. One vine managed to wrap around her ankle, but a quick slash freed her again until it grew back and clipped her across her thigh, leaving a swelling bruise. Sayaka cursed. At this rate, she would be late.

She could see the demon's main body far in front of her, separated by two hundred feet of writhing black vines. More than twice her size, it resembled a rose with its petals closed, the lips slightly parted to the sky. It quivered slightly, as if breathing. Vines branched out from it like blood vessels from an engorged heart.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Sayaka saw Homura loose an arrow. The pink shaft of light streaked towards the rose, but when it was mere inches away it was met by a wall of vines that rose up out of the thicket. There was a _hiss_ like water meeting hot metal. The air lit up in pink hues, so bright Sayaka had to shield her eyes, and when she opened them she saw the rose sitting pale and untouched. At its side sat a pile of smoked vines that were regrowing as she watched.

No good. Sayaka bit her lip. She was rapidly running out of time, she was probably already late. Any longer and she would miss it altogether.

"Follow me!" she called. Mami was saying something behind her – a warning, most likely – but Sayaka couldn't hear her, didn't bother to hear her. Blood pounding in her ears, she charged forward, a sword in each hand. Her blades flashed quicksilver under the late afternoon sun. She was being foolish, she knew, charging in recklessly like Mami had warned her never to do, but time now was too precious to waste.

A wall of vines rose up to greet her and fell apart into sashimi. The blunt end of her sword smashed another into pieces. Unbidden, a smile crept over her lips; the rush of battle was still new to her, still euphoric. Her blades felt like extensions of her body – _were_ extensions of her body, birthed from her magic, sharper than any mortal steel. Whenever she cut down one vine it grew back with an extra dozen alongside it. Black blood splashed against her sweat-soaked skin, wonderfully cool.

The jungle of vines fell like reeds before her blades, yet soon she began to realize that it was not nearly enough. Her enemies could last forever and she could not. She took the time to wipe the sweat from her eyes and almost missed the dozen vines that sprouted from nowhere, striking from every direction in unison. She twisted away, lashing out with her swords, but although she cut eleven of them, the remaining vine hit her full force in her chest. It drew away with a squelch, its tip red. Sayaka clenched her teeth. The pain was blinding – her Soul Gem could regenerate, but it could not dull the pain. The vine came at her again and this time she viciously slashed it apart with both swords. The split ends wriggled on the ground like worms.

Panting, Sayaka placed her hand over the wound, allowing herself a second to catch her breath, but the vines on the floor were regrowing again and she had to move on. Her Soul Gem was bright, magic as draining as surely as if it had sprung a leak. She forced herself faster. One vine snaked behind her and she cut it with an overhand slash, severed another with a backhand slash, did not notice the other vine sneaking along the ground. She almost tripped when it wrapped around her foot. Before she could cut it away another vine wrapped around her arm, another around her legs, another around her neck. In half a second she was as perfectly trapped as in a spider's web. The vine around her neck squeezed her throat like a ripe melon with its juices oozing from the skin. She struggled to scream, found her voice squeezed dead. Her swords fell out of her hands and the only thing she could think of was that she could not waste any more time.

Two bursts of musket fire rang out behind her. The vine around her neck exploded into a million little droplets. Five thin needles of pink light criss-crossed the air and the rest of the vines crumbled like rotten meat. Sayaka fell on the ground, gasping for air.

Dimly, she heard Mami's voice shouting, "Sayaka, Sayaka! Are you alright? Come back!"

Sayaka looked behind her and saw the forms of Mami and Homura standing much too far away. She hadn't realized how far she had gone. The two of them were trying to make it to her position, but they were ranged specialists, unfit for melee with a million twisting vines, and besides, she was closer to the rose than the two of them anyway. Picking herself off the floor, stumbling for only a few scant steps, Sayaka materialized another pair of swords in her hands. The rose stood so close she could see the fine hairs lining the smooth black petals. She took a deep breath. Concentrating all her remaining magic into her legs, she shot forward just as the dead vines around her feet rippled back to life.

Five steps, then ten, then fifteen. The vines were so thick now that a single swing of her sword severed six, seven at once, but always there were more. When she moved forward vines immediately swallowed up the space behind her. Too many vines coming at her from every direction, too many to dodge, too many to even take note of, but she was completely focused on speed now, did not even bother to cut anything that wasn't directly in her way, because as long as she wasn't caught, as long as she could keep moving, she was getting closer, closer, so close, the rose nearing with every leaden step, and at last she cleaved the final clutch of vines and emerged like a swimmer after a deep dive, exhausted, heaving, covered in so much black blood her skin looked like tar. The rose trembled before her. Triumphantly, she raised both swords high in the air.

A wall of vines sprouted from nothing. She brought her swords down, cleaved through three, four layers of vines before stopping on the fifth, could not penetrate to the supple flowerflesh beneath. The vines twisted beneath her weight. Her swords were suddenly ripped from her grasp, and when the vine wall had regenerated her swords were swallowed up inside.

She stared at the impenetrable wall, uncomprehending, dread slowly choking her throat as a hundred vines crept towards her –

"Sayaka!"

She felt it before she heard it – a prickling along the back of her neck, a sudden warmth along her fingers. The air was ripe with the smell of gunpowder and, strangely enough, apricots. Then came the sound. A cannon blast so loud it dulled the world around her; a high-pitched ringingthat teetered on the upper auditory frequency. She threw herself to the side just as the bullet flew by her so fast that all she could see was the air distortion around it. Half the vine wall vaporized in an instant. A pink streak of light followed, so bright it bathed the world in neon hues, and when the arrow punched through the final layers there was a sound like shredding paper.

The vine wall crumbled to nothing. The rose trembled, exposed at last. Rushing forward, Sayaka materialized a final sword in her hand and stabbed it through the base of the rose – so deeply the blade sank up to the hilt – and ripped upwards in a single motion. The gash oozed black blood like a disemboweled leech. For several moments the rose stood perfectly still, bleeding tar with every heaving shudder, then with a final gasp it parted perfectly down the middle.

It evaporated like ink in the sun. A million black droplets sizzled and dissolved into the air with no more consistency than smoke. The vines behind her twisted, shriveled, and, too, began to dissolve.

Sayaka fell to the floor, clutching at the Soul Gem set in her belly button. It burned hot fire. But after several seconds she had regained her breath, the Soul Gem had cooled to a dull throb, and when she looked back up to the street all that remained was a pile of Grief Seeds heaped in the middle of the road.

"Sayaka! Are you alright?"

Mami ran up to her, hands clutched in front of her chest. Homura trailed behind her.

Sayaka took two shuddering breaths. "I'm…I'll be alright."

"What were you thinking, charging in like that? You could have _died_!"

"I need to– "

"You should have waited for us! That's the entire purpose of working as a team! If – if you had died, I… " Mami stooped down to Sayaka, cupping her chin in one trembling hand as if she would never see her again. "Are you sure you're alright? Take my Grief Seeds this time, just in case. Would you like me to carry you home? You can take it easy for the next few days – "

Sayaka shook her head. She pulled away from the blond and stood up. The early evening sun soaked the street in every shade of gold. It was late, but she would make it, after all. Limping, clutching her chest with one hand, she started towards the white building in the distance.

"Sayaka! Where are you going?"

"I need to go somewhere!" she called, still not turning around. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine!"

"Your Soul Gem – "

But Sayaka wasn't listening. In her mind the battle with the demon had already faded, adrenaline replaced by the sweetness of victory and the excitement of expectation.

* * *

She stood on the roof of the hospital with her back to the sunset.

She could almost not bear to look at Kyousuke. He had been so frail lying in that hospital bed, swallowed up by the white sheets like a child wearing clothes a size too large, but now he was too beautiful. Even in a wheelchair, even in a hospital gown. The mahogany violin on his shoulder was a living thing. His fingers moved deftly across the fingerboard, every movement as precise as the parts of a clock, in tandem with the rise and fall of the bow. He was playing Ave Maria. The melody was pure and beautiful – classic Schubert, he had told her once – and in the silence of early evening it seemed the entire world could hear.

There, in the music, was lost the pain of her body. The earlier fight had taken over half her entire magic pool; it would take at least a day for the pain to fully go away, and at least another three days before she recovered well enough to fight. But that didn't matter now. For now she welcomed the reprieve. Standing at the apex of the world with her heart in the beautiful, twisted grip of his farewell recital, she wondered what took her so long to finally make such a simple decision.

The final B hung heavy upon the air, dulcet vibrato fading away so slowly she wasn't quite sure when it truly vanished. He laid the violin across his lap. Something sparkling fell from his face onto the burnished wood.

Applause rang around her, so sudden it made her start. She had forgotten that there were other people present. His family, his friends, and his teachers were there, and now they went up to him to congratulate him as he laughed awkwardly and did his best not to cry. These were his last moments at the hospital. Within the next hour he would be home, his violin do doubt cradled in his arms like a long-lost lover.

She smiled secretly. None of them had done what she did for him, none of them knew what she had done for him. Not even _he_ knew. The earlier battle had left her entire body sore, numerous cuts and bruises still unhealed as her Soul Gem desperately struggled to keep up with the damage. When the music faded her pain had returned, and the pain was exquisite. She relished the pain, savored it as she might savor a juicy steak.

_Look at how I'm suffering. It was me. I was the one responsible for your miracle. Do you know what I've sacrificed for you?_

She didn't say it, of course. That would've defeated the entire point. She stood still and smiled and relished the pain.


	8. How They Met, Part III

Chapter Eight: How They Met, Part III

The patisserie was empty at this time of day. The after-school rush of students had since ended, and now it waited forlornly for the closing that would not happen for several more hours. Although the patisserie wasn't large, it seemed large now with a sea of empty tables stretching out in every direction. Even the city outside the windows seemed empty in the cold grey afternoon.

It was quiet around them. The soft sound of traffic diffused through the walls, and, in the back, the baker was humming something. Sayaka's fork clinked against the plate as she cut a large piece of her cake. It was delicious – she had almost forgotten, it really _had_ been a while since she last came here with Hitomi – but there was a bitterness to it that she doesn't remember, the taste of lemon not quite hidden beneath the chocolate.

Across from her, Hitomi sat with her back straight and her hands folded in her lap. Her eyes were glazed as she stared at a point far beyond Sayaka's shoulder. She looked like she was at a tea ceremony, not eating together with her friend. Her slice of cake sat untouched on the table.

"I thought you liked chiffon," Sayaka said, her mouth full.

Hitomi daubed at her cake with her fork, brought the smidgen of frosting to her lips, put her fork down again.

"It's delicious."

Licking the last of the crumbs from her lips, Sayaka said, "What's wrong? What did you want to talk to me about?"

Hitomi looked away, clenching the folds of her skirt tightly in her hands. Sayaka had never seen the green-haired girl so uncertain. Though gentle and soft-spoken, Hitomi had always been sure of herself, had always been stubborn in a way that those who didn't know her would never imagine. Even when the two of them had gotten lost on their elementary school field trip – two girls alone in the sun-baked countryside of Hokkaido – she had been calm, and called for their teacher to pick them up, and when the car came two hours later she had simply smiled while Sayaka herself nearly cried from joy.

But she was uncomfortable now, and when she spoke her voice wavered uncharacteristically. "A…A matter regarding love."

Sayaka almost choked. She looked at her friend for a few seconds to make sure she wasn't joking. She wasn't.

"Well, this is something new," Sayaka said, unable to stop herself from grinning. "Hitomi finally shows an interest in love! All the boys in our school will be excited, I'm sure. Who is it?" She laughed. "It's not me, is it?"

Hitomi didn't laugh, didn't even smile, and her expression quickly wiped the smile off Sayaka's face, too.

"I've…I've been keeping something from you," she said.

And I from you. Instead Sayaka said, "Out with it. Who's the lucky boy?"

"Kyousuke."

Sayaka's fork clattered against the table.

"For a long time now I've admired him. I'm sorry to have kept it from you."

"What are you saying?" Even to Sayaka's own ears her voice sounded like it came from the far end of a distant tunnel. "Why him?"

"Why anything? Love takes all sorts of forms and you can never trace back to where it began. I'm serious about this, Sayaka – "

Sayaka laughed, sudden and explosive, and in the quiet her laughter rang like a gunshot. "Haha, Kyousuke, huh? What a surprise! Who would've thought that that guy would be so popular?" She put her arms behind her head and laughed and did not look at Hitomi. "What a surprise."

"You and him grew up together, right?"

"S-Sort of. We…We've know each other for a while."

"Is that really all there is to it?"

Sayaka stared very hard at a spot on the ceiling. She listened to the sound of traffic from outside and the humming of the baker in the back, and in her back of her mind she could also hear the sound of the violin. In the concert hall she saw a silver-haired boy for the first time and afterwards could never get him out of her head.

"I've made my decision," Hitomi said. Her earlier hesitation was gone entirely; her voice was as firm as the tone of a bass. "I will no longer lie to myself. Will you do the same?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're my best friend, Sayaka. That means a lot to me, and to you, too, I hope. I don't want to turn this into something both of us will regret."

Sayaka laughed again and it was a terrible sound, so dry and hollow it could only be made by her tongue-turned-sandpaper rasping against the inside of her mouth. She said, "Regret what? I don't understand."

Hitomi's gaze was steady and emotionless. Shakily, Sayaka picked up her fork and cut out another piece of her cake. She put it in her mouth and did not taste it.

"If this is what you choose, then so be it," Hitomi said. "However, I will still give you until tomorrow after school. You've known him for longer and more intimately than I have, so this is only fair. At two-thirty tomorrow afternoon, I will confess to him."

"Like I said, I don't know what you're talking about."

And from somewhere crept the sad sonata of the violin, faintly, so faintly. Hitomi's eyes turned soft, the expression of a mother looking at a daughter she loved too much to express. Inexplicably ashamed, Sayaka stared down at her hands.

"I love you, Sayaka. No matter how this may turn out, please remember that, no matter what happens. Remember all the happy times we spent together and remember all the days we sat eating cake and remember all our peaceful days, no matter how this may turn out."

With a bow – whether in respect or apology it was uncertain – Hitomi left. Sayaka stared at her back with one-and-a-half slices of cake in front of her and the taste of ashes in her mouth.

* * *

From the corner of Sayaka's eyes she watched him. He was getting used to his crutches now, he no longer walked with that half-stumbling gait or arrived to class with sweat trickling down his neck. Occasionally he had trouble with the pencil. Copying down the class notes was too difficult for a hand that had not moved in two years, but other people gave him their notes instead. He had been awkward when he first came back to school. He had forgotten how to interact with others, how to talk, how to laugh, but he was recovering that, too, and now he sat at his desk surrounded by a crowd of students who talked and laughed with him.

Ever since he had gotten out of the hospital, the two of them had not spoken.

Hitomi, too, was in that crowd – and was that just Sayaka's imagination, or was she closer to him than the others? Sayaka sat alone in the corner of the room and watched them with terror gripping her heart. You have time, had been the excuse she told herself. But she had no time, now.

Half-heartedly, she made an attempt to rise. She would go to Kyousuke and ask to speak to him in private. She would lead him to the back of the school, she would tell him she loved him, she would pretend Hitomi's crying face did not exist – she had seen her friend cry only once, long ago, when they were still children, and she remembered the tear-stained face but not the reason. She stood up and reached out her hand.

"I need…I need to talk to you."

"Sure, what is it?" Kyousuke said.

She bit her lip, looked around them, tugged at his sleeve. "Let's go somewhere a bit more private."

Kyousuke's face turned red – he had always been sensitive, even for a boy. No doubt he's seen this scene countless times in those manga he liked to read in the hospital. Sayaka had always imagined the best way to confess to him – usually there was be a sunset or a beach in there somewhere, complete with inexplicably out-of-season cherry blossoms. He would be taken back, at first, but the longer they gazed into each other's eyes they more he realized his true feelings, and as the sound of the violins reached a peak (where the violins came from was a detail often glossed over in her fantasies) he would smile and finally say…

"Alright, Hitomi."

Sayaka watched them pack their bags and walk out the door as the last ring of the school bell faded into silence.

* * *

Earlier it had been warm but it was cold now. The sky had gone from blue to grey to black, and the sun had disappeared off the horizon long ago. It was snowing lightly – the first snowfall of the season, the snowflakes falling softly and shyly as if unsure where to go. Sayaka sat on the park bench and watched the sky. She still wore her school uniform with its short skirt and light fabric, but she did not feel the cold, not even when the wind picked up, not even when the snowflakes broke upon her skin.

"How long have you been here?"

Sayaka laid her head against the back rest. The metal was smooth against the nape of her neck. Above her she could just make out the faint curve of the moon; soon she would be able to watch the stars.

"What are you going to do?"

Something fell in beside her, red wisps of hair dancing on her peripherals.

"Don't just ignore me."

In the dimness the park looked unfamiliar. The shadows cast by the trees seemed menacing, and the wind through their leaves gave off a rattling sound, like someone sighing. During the day it had been lively, but that just made it seem all the more forlorn, now, when it sat so empty in the dark. Sayaka remembered often playing with Hitomi here when they were children. But as they grew up their spots changed and she had not been to this park for many years.

Three fingers grabbed her chin and turned her head.

"I _said_ don't just ignore me."

Sayaka closed her eyes, did not even resist.

"You can't just sit here forever."

In the blackness, behind closed eyelids, the voice was formless and all too easy to ignore –

Something hot splashed against her face. Instinctively, her eyes blinked open.

"Awake now?" Kyouko snapped. In her left hand she held a can of something that looked like coffee – definitely was coffee, Sayaka thought as a drop trickled down her cheeks to her lips. Kyouko grumbled, "Making me waste food like that. You're going to pay me back for this, you hear?"

Sayaka's sigh escaped as white puffs in the night. "You're the last person I want to see."

"You're an idiot. Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Exactly. Why did you do nothing?"

Sayaka smiled. "What are you talking about?"

"You know, that attitude's really unconvincing when you have tears in your eyes."

So she had. Sayaka wiped her eyes and her hand came away with sticky brown coffee stains.

"Answer me," Kyouko said. "Why did you just do nothing?"

"You were spying on me again," Sayaka accused her.

"I _knew_ I couldn't leave you alone. You're so stupid it hurts."

The faintest trickle of emotion rose up Sayaka's throat again, an emotion she remembered as anger. She had almost forgotten anger, along with sadness, along with disappointment. All her emotions were concentrated in the pit of her stomach, squeezed and squeezed like a foam ball until it was the size of a grain of sand, and there it sat quivering, wanting to be forgotten. But just the sight and sound of Kyouko made her blood boil – that, it seemed, had still stayed the same.

"You don't know anything," she spat.

Kyouko narrowed her eyes. Her lips drew back, and in the dim light her fang was feral. "Listen up, you idiot. I know what your wish was. I know what happened between you and your friend. It's pathetic. Despite all your talk of love, despite your big show of friendship, you did nothing when she just stole him away from you. Is that really the depth of your conviction? You sacrificed your entire life for him. Do you even realize what you've done? The terms of the contract you signed? Or were you so blinded by that stupid crush of yours that you thought becoming a magical girl just meant cake and ribbons? You traded your whole life away – for what? You're a goddamn _idiot_."

"You have no right to judge me," Sayaka snarled.

"Don't I? Then enlighten me, because from where I'm standing you look like the stupidest girl to ever wear a Soul Gem."

"It was impossible – "

"That's just another word for cowardice."

"It was impossible from the start!" Sayaka shouted, and it came pouring out of her, all the half-thoughts she had been too scared to realize, all the emotions she had been too scared to face, words and tears spilling out in equal torrents. "It wouldn't have been fair. For him or for me. He can never know what I've done. What I still do. And if I died? He's already lost his most precious thing. I can't let him lose it again. Hitomi is good. She's kind. She's beautiful. She's stable. She'll make a far better lover than I ever will. They deserve each other. Their world has no place for me. For people like us. And even if I did confess, even if he did choose me, even if I did live long enough for us to be happy together – " she gazed up at the sky and the stars were heartbreakingly bright – "I could never hurt Hitomi."

"You would trade your happiness for theirs?"

The snow fell faster now; already the grass was covered in a fine layer of whiteness, and in the swirl of the snowflakes a blue-haired girl closed her eyes and nodded.

Kyouko laughed, short and bitter, a sound like acid hitting the bottom of a tin can. "Exactly what I expected from an idiot."

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand," Sayaka said coldly, "someone like you who's never loved a single person in her entire life. You don't know anything."

"You're wrong." Kyouko gripped the coffee can so tightly the metal was folding under her fingers. She was angry, Sayaka realized. For some reason, the redhead was angry – no, it wasn't exactly anger. "It's not what you think. I…"

"Why do you even care?"

"I – " Kyouko's voice hitched, taken back. How very like her, Sayaka thought. Only on Kyouko could compassion be taken as weakness.

The redhead stared at the snow-covered grass with an unreadable expression on her face. She sat completely still as the wind tossed her ponytail like a dandelion seed, her eyes the film-covered eyes of someone looking back at memories. In the distance sounded the barking of a dog, three short yelps, pitiful and lonely.

"It wasn't hard," she said at last. "All I had to do was watch. Everyone was talking about that boy's miraculous recovery. You were an idiot, it was so like you to use up your wish for something stupid like that. She confessed to him behind the school, you know, in front of the tree. Drew a pretty big crowd, too. He accepted."

"I already – I already knew that."

"The hard part was finding you. What were you thinking, running off like that? _You_ may think it's alright, but you have friends and parents – " here her smile turned sour – "who care about you. And you call _me_ selfish."

Sayaka looked away, nursing in her heart the seed of shame. "That's none of your business."

"You're an idiot, an even bigger idiot than I thought." But Kyouko's tone was uncharacteristically light without her usual sting. "There was someone like you, once. She used her wish to try to save her family but ended up killing the lot of them. Haha, isn't that funny? Our wishes will always get distorted in the end. The best you can do is to just wish for something for yourself. I hope you've learned a lesson from all this."

"I regret nothing."

Kyouko froze. The coffee can crumpled under her grip, jags of metal biting into her skin, blood mixing with the dark brown liquid. But all she said was, "You can't be serious."

"My actions ended up making my friends happy. What does it matter if I got hurt temporarily in the process? I'm not selfish like you."

Kyouko covered her face with a hand, the blood running down her fingers shining like rubies in the night. What was that emotion she expressed in every muscle of her body? Sayaka couldn't pinpoint it, a cocktail of anger and frustration mixed with a dash of pity, and the whole thing threatened to slosh over at the slightest touch. Was this really the same Kyouko who thrust a spear through Mami's neck?

Her voice cracking, Kyouko said, "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes."

But Sayaka's heart shuddered and she couldn't stand looking at Kyouko's face any more. There was that expression again. Suddenly she wanted to smash Kyouko's face in, to grind to a pulp that arrogantly smirking mouth. With an effort she turned away.

"I never want to see you again," Sayaka spoke to the air.

She left the redhead silently laughing behind her.

* * *

Its claws pierced her in three places. One through her leg, one through her lung, one through the space between her ribcage and her heart. Her sword flashed and the arms severed in a shower of black blood. With her other hand she wrenched out the claws, relished in the pain as the barbed serrated edges caught in her flesh, wrenched them out harder. In a blaze of blue fire her flesh re-knit over the wound. She smiled – had it always been this easy? The demon in front of her drew back its arms for another strike but she was already behind it, sword outstretched, black blood spewing from where the demon's legs had been. It buckled to the floor.

She straddled on top of it. Her sword came down so fast only the glint of its edge was visible in the darkness. Another arm severed with a sound like a snapped twig, the remaining stump flailing like a fish out of water. It was a funny sight and Sayaka laughed. The demon was humanoid; vaguely it resembled someone she knew. Once it had nine arms but there were only two now – one, as she hacked another away. The demon struggled beneath her. One by one Sayaka chopped the inky-black fingers from its remaining hand.

Next she inserted her sword at the wrist. Smoothly, the blade traveled along the length of the arm all the way up to the shoulder, splitting the arm in two like a gutted fish. The demon beat helplessly below her. Though it did not have a face – just a sheet of black – it was making a whining sound, somehow, like the whine of a beaten dog. Its music was sweet. Gently, Sayaka pierced her sword into its chest and drew it in slow circles back and forth, back and forth in the inky flesh.

Something clicked above her. The demon's head exploded in a black splatter. Its body fell still beneath her, shuddered as if in mercy, slowly began to dissipate until she straddled only hard, bloody concrete.

Sayaka raised her head. Mami stood in front of her. Smoke sizzled from the barrel of her rifle.

"Sayaka, what…what are you doing?"

She stood up and wiped the blood from her blades. In the dimness they might've been red.

"You're supposed to be resting right now," Mami said tightly. "After all that's happened you need time to recover. I thought we decided you could have the whole week off – where are you going?"

"Looking for more trash to dispose of," Sayaka sang over her shoulder. "Justice never rests."

"You forgot your Grief Seeds."

Sayaka chuckled. "I don't need those any more."

"What are – "

"You and Homura can have them. That's good, right? I don't need them anymore."

Mami reached out a hand as if to grab her shoulder. Just then a ray of moonlight shone upon Sayaka's face, pale, sickening yellow, and Mami froze, her hand shaking in the cold winter air.

"Are you…are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Sayaka said. Her smile stretched from ear to ear. "Perfectly fine."

* * *

A/N: This was my own take on Sayaka's reasons for 'giving' Kyousuke to Hitomi. Next chapter is the finale to the backstory.


	9. How They Met, Part IV

Chapter Nine: How They Met, Part IV

It was a nice room. Really, it was. Kyouko had to admit she was impressed, and it wasn't easy to impress someone who lived in five-star hotels. Very clean, very expensive, and the décor had been tastily furnished. The carpets were this thick, plushy kind of material that gave her the pleasant sensation of sinking down whenever she walked. A thin veneer of cloth woven in fine golden thread covered the furniture, and in the sunlight through the open window the fabric glittered like coins. She took a deep breath. A pleasant scent hung in the air – not quite citrus, not quite patchouli, not quite orange blossoms – that reminded her somehow of her mother, long ago.

Kyouko popped another cannoli into her mouth, reclining back in the chair. The place was spacious, even larger than her hotel room, and certainly too large for a single girl. A kitchen, a living room, two bathrooms, and two bedrooms. Why did one girl need _two_ bedrooms? It was more of a house than an apartment. The television in the living room had a 50-inch screen – did companies even make screens that big? The first channel it had gone to when she turned it on had been one of those drama series. _I love you_ , _but I love someone else instead, we can never be together._ Lots of crying, lots of pretty models. So _this_ was the kind of stuff middle school girls liked – and magical girls, too, it seemed, were not immune.

And the food was too good for words. When she opened the refrigerator door she thought she had gone to heaven.

Lightly, footsteps approached from the hall. The door clicked open behind her. Kyouko raised one sugar-covered hand at the newcomer.

Mami froze.

"Nice place you got here," Kyouko commented.

"What are you – "

"Did you make these? They're absolutely delicious."

Mami's eyes darted from Kyouko to the open window and made the connection. Amber eyes turned into hard, glittering gold. Outwardly she gave no signs. But the pale flesh of her neck was rigid enough for her tendons to protrude from the valley of her throat, and her lips were pressed into one thin line. She had just come home from school, as Kyouko expected, still dressed in her school uniform with her bag clutched in her hand.

Coldly, she said, "What are you doing inside my house?"

Kyouko stood up and wiped her hands, spraying puffs of sugar powder over the rug. "That's a rude way to say hello."

"If you want another fight – "

"And they call you _nice_. I just want to talk."

"About what?"

"Sayaka."

To Mami's credit, her surprise was gone in an instant, merely a ripple in her smooth countenance.

"What about her?"

Kyouko clicked her tongue. "Oh, don't pretend to be dumb. You may be stupid but you're not _that_ stupid."

"What does Sayaka have to do with you breaking into my house?"

Though Mami's tone was cold, her voice cracked on _Sayaka,_ a sliver of glass meeting concrete. And although her face was obstinate, the more Kyouko observed her the more she realized the blonde was in terrible shape. She saw the dark bags under her eyes, saw the redness drained from the pale cheeks, saw the ringlets frayed inside their ribbons. Mami was _tired_ , and a magical girl's body did not display signs of tiredness easily – Mami herself even less so.

"Sayaka will die by tomorrow morning," Kyouko said flatly. "She's got a death wish. That idiot goes around the city killing any demons she can find, and, if it wasn't completely stupid, I'd swear she's trying to use as much magic as she could. And you know what happens when a magical girl runs out of magic."

"Why do you care?"

"If she had just stayed in her own territory I wouldn't have cared less. But she's going wherever she wants and stealing _my_ demons in the process. Oh, she leaves me the Grief Seeds, but it's a matter of principle, you see. Makes me feel like I'm receiving charity. And that's something I just can't stand."

"Then go stop her. You hardly need my permission."

"My question is, _why haven't you?_ "

The question hurt. Mami's eyes looked away only for a fraction of a second but that was enough to expose her shame. "That's none of your business."

Inwardly, Kyouko sighed. Mami's pride was admirable but damn irritating (and maybe, the redhead had to admit, breaking into her house hadn't been the best ice breaker). Oh well. She hadn't expected the direct approach to work anyway.

Casually, she leaned against the counter. "How much did this apartment cost?"

"Excuse me?"

"How much does it cost, to live in an apartment like this? At least two hundred thousand yen a month, by my guess. And that's not including the furniture, the television, cost of electricity, food…What a _life_ you live, huh?"

Mami shook her head like a parent at a conceited child. "What are you getting at?"

"Nothing is ever too much for the princess! You were born with everything: wealth, talent, beauty, and I'm amazed to see that somehow you've even managed to remain humble through it all. On the surface, at least. You play the role of the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect magical girl, so damn perfect you send saints to hell. It must feel nice, doesn't it? To live a life of luxury, admired by everyone, a beacon of righteousness shining over the rest of us common people? I bet you feel _good_."

"I don't have time for your games, Kyouko. What's your point?"

"I'm saying you're a fraud. You don't care about Sayaka. All you care about is your fantasy. You're so wrapped up in it that you're too scared to help someone who truly needs your help – "

It came hard and fast, so hard and fast that Kyouko could've sworn it was magic had not Mami still stood in her school uniform, frozen in that position with her hand outstretched. The force of it snapped her head sideways and left a bright red sting on her cheek.

"You don't understand what I've gone through," Mami said, her voice shaking. "You don't understand what I had to do to become a magical girl."

Kyouko looked at her through the corner of her eyes.

"Then why have you done nothing?"

Her question hung in the air like a rotten fruit. The red spot on Kyouko's cheek was tender, and when the winter wind touched it the pain was almost exquisite. So even Mami could lose control. So even Mami could fall prey to baser emotions. It was a comforting thought.

The blonde's eyes were downcast. Something subtle had changed in her posture, like a held breath suddenly released. It was the pride, Kyouko realized – her pride from earlier was gone. Mami made no effort to hide the shame any more, etched in the defeated slump of her shoulders and the crossing of her feet. When at last she spoke the fight had gone out of her; her voice sounded tired and oddly emotionless.

"I've tried," she said. "You think I've just been sitting here? I tried to talk with her. To reason with her. I told her she was overusing magic. I told her she needed rest. I told her she would die. I told her that young love passes with time, that friendships forged in childhood are fragile, that she would find new friends and new lovers in the years to come. I told her to stop being selfish. I told her how sad her friends would be if she died, how sad her family would be, how sad _I_ would be. I begged her to stop. I've done everything I could. I even gave her my Grief Seeds and she refused them. Her Soul Gem is so black, Kyouko, that you can hardly see the blue. A few days ago I saw her kill a demon and she was like a beast. In the darkness I couldn't tell which one of them was the demon. Do you know how it feels, to watch the person you love most in the world spiral into an abyss they themselves have created? All the while you're hopeless, unable to do anything but watch when the only thing you want in the world is an end to their suffering."

Mami leaned against the wall with her bangs over her eyes. Her hands shook so much she could no longer hold her schoolbag, and she clutched the hem of her skirt in an effort to still them. She might've been crying. In the silence that followed her breaths came out weak and gasping.

She loved her, Kyouko thought sadly. Despite all of Mami's faults her love had been pure.

"So that is the limit of your kindness," Kyouko thought aloud. "You fear losing someone you love but you fear being hated even more."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying you're weak."

Mami raised her head and her eyes were vicious – not the usual haughtiness but simple animal viciousness. "Is that why you came here? To laugh at me? To see me desperate and helpless, unable to do anything? Well, you've seen your fill. Now get out."

"You don't interest me at all," Kyouko said with a sigh. "I came here to ask about Sayaka and I got what I needed. The situation is beyond your control. I didn't want to dirty my hands unless I had to, but that can't be helped. I was getting bored anyway."

"You can't possibly be thinking…"

"I am."

Mami stared at her as if she had just said the sun revolved around the Earth. "Why? Why would you help her?"

"You don't need to know the reason."

Bitterly, Mami said, "I appreciate the sentiment. But there's nothing you can do. I've told you already, haven't I? I've done everything I could and none of it has worked. If I, her closest friend, was unable to convince her, you're certainly not going to."

"Oh, I have a plan."

"How do you save someone who doesn't want to be saved?"

"That's easy," Kyouko said with a grin. "You do it anyway."

* * *

The train came rumbling out of darkness. Kyouko heard it before she saw it, the ugly _clack clack_ of its wheels in the silence of the night. The headlights were two great blinding beams that bathed her in light so harsh she had to squint. The train roared by her like a force of nature, sixty tons of speeding metal, and it was so easy to imagine throwing yourself in front of it, throwing yourself at the mercy of its prow for a death so quick it would be painless. Through the windows all she saw were empty cars. With a shrill hiss the doors sprang open. The night held its breath, a cloud passed over the moon, and a shadow stepped out.

The shadow walked with a stumbling gait. Limping on its right leg, it made its way down the platform into the lighted area where Kyouko sat, alone. When it saw her it paused, not in fear but in mild surprise, as if Kyouko had been wearing a funny hat. The red-haired girl crossed her arms and clicked her tongue.

"You look awful," she said.

And so she did. In the harsh light of the platform Sayaka's skin was sallow, the color and consistency of candle wax. With one hand she clutched her arm as if it had been broken, her entire weight resting on her left leg. Her tattered school uniform clung to an emaciated frame – she seemed to have worn the same clothes for a long time without washing them, or herself. Tangled clumps of hair stuck to her forehead. Even from several feet away Kyouko could smell the scent of sweat mixed with acrid magic, a sickeningly sweet scent like perfume clinging to a corpse. A ruby-red splash of blood was smeared across one cheek.

Kyouko's eyes darted to Sayaka's right hand. The ring's gemstone was as black as tar – but there was one last speck of blue still in there, surrounded by the sea of black like a life raft in the ocean.

"Good evening," Sayaka said. There was no malice in her tone, just tiredness. Her eyes seemed barely able to stay open. The whites were too crowded, and the pupil was so bloodshot her eyes seemed more red than blue.

Viciously, Kyouko lashed out, "You deserve every bit of what happened to you."

"What did I deserve?"

The words tumbled out of her mouth. Kyouko hadn't planned what to say, only vague generalities, but now that Sayaka was here in front of her it was so easy, each word linking to the next, each sentence sliding into another. In a way, she wasn't speaking to Sayaka – she was speaking in front of a mirror, speaking the words to her younger self. "You think becoming a magical girl was fun and games? Well, now you pay the price. You wasted your wish on a trifle, you gambled your whole life for nothing. Your life was worthless and now you die like a dog. That's what you get for clinging to ideals in a world where only the strong survive."

A ghost of a smile upturned Sayaka's pale lips. "You're trying to make me mad. But I'm not mad, Kyouko."

"Why are you doing this? But of course I already know – your best friend stole your boyfriend and you're too pathetic to face the truth. You're like a spoiled child who didn't get what she wanted on Christmas, so all you can do is kick and scream. Grow up. This tantrum of yours disgusts me. Is this really how you're going out? Not with a bang but with a whimper?"

Slowly, Sayaka shook her head. "You're wrong. What I did – what I'm doing – is for the city."

"We both know that's an excuse."

"I've killed so many demons, Kyouko, more in the last few days than in my entire life as a magical girl. So what if my magic runs out? My life is a small price to pay for the hundreds I've saved. "

Kyouko stood up and stamped her foot into the concrete. It left an indentation two inches thick. Mami had been right – Sayaka was too far gone to listen. The blue-haired girl stood there calmly, as if they had been friends speaking on a clear summer day, and Kyouko had to fight the urge to pound that self-righteous face into dust.

"Why are you trying to help me?" Sayaka continued. "You were the last person I'd expect to do this."

Kyouko growled. "You saved my life. I told you I don't leave a debt unfulfilled."

"No. That's a lie. You wouldn't go so far for a reason as petty as that."

Kyouko jerked her head away. Damn that girl.

"You remind me of someone – a friend – I had once. You two were exactly the same, both idiots, magical girls who used their wish for something stupid, something regrettable. As if the world would change just because you held true to your ideals. She was…important to me. It was a pathetic way to die."

She turned to face Sayaka again with renewed passion. "You don't want to die like this. _Nobody_ wants to die like this. As long as you're alive you have the potential to right every wrong you have ever committed. Forget Hitomi, that bitch. Forget Kyousuke. Or take revenge on them, whatever. Make them as miserable as they made you. Do _something_. As long as you're alive the potential is always there."

Sayaka shook her head. There it was again – that ghost of a smile that said _I know something you don't_. Then Sayaka turned her face to the light and Kyouko saw the blood on her cheek was fresh.

Her heart dropped like a stone. Kyouko choked out, "That's not your blood."

"No, it isn't."

"What have you _done_?"

"I just killed some demons." Sayaka's teeth glinted dull yellow. "Demons in human flesh."

A film passed through the air. The fluorescent lights contorted Sayaka's body as if she was standing in front of a circus mirror. Her head was much too large for her body, her teeth as large as the blade of a sword, sharp and filed to points in her gaping maw of a mouth. The blackness leaked out from her throat like smoke. When she spoke her teeth gnashed against each other, her mouth swallowed the moon and stars, her tongue twisted like an engorged viper around the words, _Human flesh._

Feeling as if she were drunk, Kyouko said, "You're lying."

"They were trash, unfit to live, the very bottom rung of society, scum leeching on the lives of better people."

"They were humans, Sayaka – do you see what you've become? Not demons, _humans_."

Sayaka's words scraped together with a sound like metal scraping bone. "Sometimes, the difference is negligible. Sometimes, we must do what seems wrong. Sometimes, there is only one way to right the world."

Kyouko took a long, stuttering breath. Though she knew it could not be real she could smell kerosene and burning metal and still ash. She closed her eyes to block out the thing in front of her. In her mind she could see the fire, the shadows dancing in the flame, the shadows screaming for help, the shadow standing at the burning pulpit. She had sat still and watched as the flames nipped at her flesh, peeling away the skin to reveal the bloody muscle beneath, the skin reforging over the flames only to be peeled back again. She had wondered how long it would take for her to die. She was still wondering when they pulled her from the wreckage, naked, her clothes burnt to ash but the flesh new and shining.

When she opened her eyes the illusion was gone: Sayaka was back to normal again, a scared, frightened girl in tattered clothes, and her smile was no longer frightening but pitiable.

In a flash of light Kyouko transformed. Her bare shoulders shone white under the light of the station, the red hem of her skirt billowing in the wind. She pointed her spear at Sayaka.

"Draw your blade."

For the first time that night emotion crept into Sayaka's voice in the form of a surprised, "What?"

"Draw your blade. I should've known it would come to this – it always does, in the end. Violence solves so many things. I thought I should try to reason with you first but I knew it was pointless from the start."

"Are you serious – "

The spear point drove through her left shoulder. Sayaka screamed and fell to the ground, clutching her wound. Above her, Kyouko languidly twirled her spear.

The redhead grinned. Her fang gleamed white like the fang of a carnivore.

Sayaka's transformation came slowly. The light was a pale, leeched blue, almost transparent. Through the light clothes could be seen knitting over her flesh. The stockings rose up Sayaka's legs in splotches of vinyl, followed thread-by-thread by the skirt and blouse, and last to form was the cape one stitching at a time. The Soul Gem set in her belly button pulsed like a black tumor. Sayaka stumbled forward, holding her blade with both hands as if the thing was made of concrete. Joltingly, she swung it through the air.

Kyouko caught the blade with one hand and kicked Sayaka, hard, in the stomach. The blue-haired girl crumpled to the ground. Her hands slipped from the hilt.

"Weak," Kyouko said, snapping the blade in two. "You are weak, weak, weak, _weak_."

She stabbed her spear straight down, feeling it penetrate flesh and bone and concrete. Sayaka gave a weak cry. The spear pulled back with a sickening squelch, connected by a string of blood to the red mess that had once been Sayaka's shoulder. With her one good hand Sayaka tried to push herself up. Kyouko stomped down on her fingers. The bones cracked beneath her heel. Sayaka fell back down with a gasp and struggled no more.

Kyouko looked at her scornfully. "So in the end this is all you were, so weak a child could break you."

And despite the fact she was in great pain, despite the fact she was inches away from death, despite the fact her life had fallen to pieces around her – Sayaka began to laugh.

"You've gone crazy," Kyouko marveled.

"Finish it," Sayaka said, "and thank you. Finally it will end."

Kyouko snorted. "You were already dead when I found you. You think I did all this just to speed up the process? I have no intention of killing you."

"Then…why?"

Kyouko answered by straddling Sayaka's waist. She lay spread-eagle on the cement and Kyouko mounted her with her full weight bearing down on Sayaka's groin, one leg on each side. Instinctively, Sayaka's legs twitched, resisting the sudden force, but she was weak, weak enough for a stray breeze to crush her. Kyouko bent close to her face. Her eyes shone wet with magic under the lamplight. On the concrete their two shadows twisted as one.

"Mami told me a funny thing," she whispered. "She said that she tried to speak to you. She said that that she offered to give you Grief Seeds and you refused her. But that's not the funny part. The funny part is this: that Mami somehow thought that was the end of it."

"There's nothing you can do that will change my mind."

Kyouko's fingers traced the nape of Sayaka's neck, slid down the valley between her breasts, caressed the Soul Gem set in her belly button.

"Oh, there is _one_ thing."

Realization was slow in coming. Sayaka's mouth rounded into a perfect O, the hole black and wet with the pinkness of her tongue peeking out behind her teeth. Her voice broke. "No. You can't do this."

"What happened to your courage?" Kyouko spoke into her ear. "You said I could do anything."

"Not you," Sayaka begged. "Why would you do this? You can't – "

Her thrashing became frantic, like an animal. With one hand Kyouko forced her still. She could feel Sayaka's body surging beneath her, so roughly that her skirt ripped against the gravel and blood ran down her thighs. It was easy to force her down. The power was so sweet she could taste it on her tongue. Inside this deserted train station where the screams could not be heard and the body never found. Sayaka was shouting something, the words blurred into interminable white noise, and Kyouko could not hear her at all through the sound of blood pumping in her own ears.

She lay her palm flat against Sayaka's belly. The flesh was hot and sticky. Every time she moved her hand the blue-haired girl moaned, struggled harder against her. Kyouko's fingers sought out the blackened Soul Gem, curling like a claw in the secret crevices between the stone and flesh, and, gently, with a popping noise, removed it.

Beneath her Sayaka was sobbing. "I don't want to, please stop, please stop."

Kyouko held the stone up to the night air. A pixel of blue lit up and faded, lit up and faded in a sea of black. It was a strange shape, a crescent. Such a brittle thing, an egg made of glass – did such a thing really hold enough power to destroy armies? Moonlight pierced its depths, illuminating it from the inside, and when Kyouko turned the stone in her hands it created ripples that made the surface undulate like black water.

She twirled her fingers; a mass of Grief Seeds appeared in her other palm.

"Don't do this," Sayaka sobbed, and Kyouko pressed the Soul Gem into the heart of the black mass.

Sayaka screamed beneath her. Her body bucked wildly and it was all Kyouko could do to force her down while still feeding Grief Seeds into the Soul Gem, one little black cube at a time. Sayaka's heart was wreathed in blue fire. So much light burned in her core that it erupted from the cracks in her skin. Her eyes rolled up to whites. Her flesh shuddered. Her scream rose in pitch, a constant scream with no pause for breath but its tone was closer to ecstasy than agony. In a single surge of energy Sayaka's body twisted violently, one hand whipping Kyouko across the chest – Sayaka's shoulder had healed, when had it healed? – sending her sprawling backwards into the wall. Sparks of lightning danced across Sayaka's wounds, light so intense it was impossible to stare at directly, and when the light vanished it left spotless flesh in its place.

At last there were no more Grief Seeds. Kyouko sagged against the wall, letting the Soul Gem slip onto the ground where it rolled once, twice into the moonlight: a crescent so blue it bound the ocean beneath its skin.

Sayaka's cries faded to quiet sobs. She lay on the ground resplendent, her clothes resewn, all signs of tiredness gone. She looked a completely different girl from the ragged girl earlier in the night. Kyouko closed her eyes, feeling as if she had aged decades in a minute. Such a stupid thing you just did, an emptiness inside her whispered. You worked years to save up that extra stock of Grief Seeds and now it's all gone. For what? A foolish little girl who will no doubt be dead within a year's time. You were drawn to her idealism like a moth to flame. And Kyouko whispered back, it was worth it.

Awkwardly, she pulled herself up. The night was bitterly cold, the first of many the coming winter promised. But the sky was clear and cloudless, so dark the moon and stars were magnified a thousand times. The world around them sat unimaginably still.

She dragged herself over to the prone girl. In a tone too tired to bear venom, she said, "Stopped crying yet?"

"Why did – " Sayaka's voice choked, each word torn forcefully from her throat " – why did you let me live?"

"Now we're even." Kyouko sat down next to her, hugging her knees. "Do whatever you want from now on – I promise I won't interfere again. I gave you one more chance, a chance nobody ever gave me. If you truly want to die, go ahead."

"Kill me."

Kyouko sighed. "Just think about it a little more, you idiot. Do you know the risk I've taken for you?"

"You don't understand." Sayaka swallowed, staring upwards unblinkingly at the light. "Kyouko, you don't understand what I've done. Those two guys on the train – they were talking, and I – I just – "

"It's alright, Sayaka. We all make mistakes."

"Did they have friends? Family? Children? And now they're two stinking corpses in a bloody railway car – "

Kyouko pressed a finger against Sayaka's lips. It came away with a little bit of saliva.

"So you've killed two people – how many more have you saved? All you need to do now is try even harder to make up. Do what you've always done. Protect the city. And when the time comes that our scale is balanced your sins will be light compared to your virtues."

"You don't believe that."

Bemused, Kyouko said, "No, I don't."

"I wish I was dead," Sayaka said despairingly. "You shouldn't have saved me."

"People never do what they should do. People do what they want to."

The tears had left two long dark trails on Sayaka's face. When the moonlight shone on them they reflected the stars. From a park in the distance sounded the trill of a nightingale, lonely and uncertain in a season that had not borne songbirds for many weeks, perhaps the last of its kind still yet to migrate south. Kyouko sunk her head into her arms. She felt pleasantly drowsy. And, for no other reason than to stay awake, she said,

"Do you hate them?"

For a long time Sayaka did not speak. When she spoke her tone was slow and measured and spoken with the simplicity of truth.

"No, I don't hate them. I don't think I will ever hate them. I loved them too much, once, and nothing will ever change that. In the end it is none of their fault. All Hitomi did was follow her heart. She never threw me aside, never stopped thinking about me despite knowing we were rivals. Unlike me, she stayed a friend up to the very end. And Kyousuke simply didn't know." Her voice shook, sounding for a moment like she would start crying again. "The only fault is with me. If I just had the courage to confess, then I would at least have had peace, no matter what the outcome."

"You're a lot more forgiving than I would've been."

"And yet…I don't think I can ever face them again. I've messed up. I've messed up so badly it can never be repaired. What an idiot I was."

"Nobody's going to argue with that statement."

Sayaka's sigh escaped as a puff of warmth in the night. That one small gesture carried with it the end of the world, floated upward like a cloud, spread amongst the moonlight and escaped into the stars. In the voice of a lost child, she said, "Oh, what am I going to do?"

"That's something you're going to have to find out for yourself." Kyouko stood up, dusting the gravel from her skirt. "As for me, I'm getting out of here. I don't want to be woken up by some policeman in the morning wondering why a middle school girl was sleeping in a train station."

Sayaka lay there, staring up at the lights as if searching for the meaning of life beyond the ceiling. Slowly, she pushed herself up to her feet, one joint at a time, as if every little movement seemed unfamiliar, as if moving one limb after another caused pain, as if some great weight bore down on her back, and when she finally didstand up her posture screamed that she would like nothing better than to lie down again – but stand up she did.

* * *

It would be the food she missed the most, Kyouko decided. One of the largest cities in the prefecture, Mitakihara simply couldn't be beat when it came to the selection of food. Or anything, for that matter. The arcades, the shopping malls, the theaters…Even now, sitting inside a pastry shop staring out the window, she could see four restaurants and half a dozen stores with the silhouettes of a hundred more in the skyline. But that was the problem, wasn't it? More people meant more entertainment and more demons, but it also meant more magical girls drawn to the prize.

She took a bite of her cake, closing her eyes to savor the texture of the cream, so soft she could barely feel it on her tongue. Tonight, she decided. She would leave tonight. And when she opened her eyes again she saw a certain blue-haired girl leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed.

"Thereyou are," Sayaka said. "It took me forever to find you."

Idly, Kyouko sank her fork it into the cake flesh. "Shouldn't you be in school right now?"

"Oh, I don't want to hear that from _you_."

Sayaka took a seat across from her. She was as radiant as the sun in winter's cloudless sky. No mark from last night remained, no wound or scar to mar the paleness of her flesh. Only her clothes were not perfect – a single drop of blood stained her skirt.

She took a deep breath. "I want to say thank you."

"No need."

"I mean it. Without you I would be dead. And I know how much you value your Grief Seeds, and how hard it must've been to give them up. For me. I was a mess. I'm sorry for what happened. I caused trouble for everyone, especially you."

"I already told you, I only did it to repay you. Now we're even."

"If you say so."

"What are you going to do now?"

She shrugged. "I'll just do what I've always done. Go to school, fight demons. Somehow I'll manage." She smiled wistfully. "And I'll make the most of it, this time."

"Good for you," Kyouko said, and was surprised to find it didn't come out sarcastic as she had intended.

"What about you?"

Kyouko rolled around a crumb with her fork. "I'm going to Saitama. "

"You're leaving? Why?"

"Think about it," Kyouko snapped. "There's already three magical girls in this town. There's no room for me here. And if any of you had brains you'd leave also. What happened to you last night will happen again, only there won't be a nice girl like me to bail you out."

"Don't leave," Sayaka said immediately. "Just stay for a bit. See how everything works out. I don't want you to leave."

"There you go again. You don't want me to leave? You should be _begging_ me to leave."

"All you're after is Grief Seeds, right? I'll talk to Mami and Homura and work something out, you can keep your territory or whatever it is you wanted. That's fair, right? Just stay."

Kyouko put her hand to her forehead. "I get it. You think that because I saved you last night that somehow means I care about you. Well, I don't. We're not friends. I did what I did to repay a debt. Don't think there was anything more to it."

Sayaka tapped a finger against her chin. "Really? That's not what I remember. Last night, you said something about a friend of yours – someone who was rather like me…"

"That's all in the past."

"You don't have any friends, though," Sayaka said, not disparagingly. "I know you. I find it impossible to believe that you would have friends at all, much less a friend close enough you'll risk your life to save. Actually, what's even more unbelievable is that someone would be friends with you, with your attitude."

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"Only a half-liar. I can believe that you rescued me because I reminded you of someone. But there's only one person you will risk your life to save, and that's yourself."

Kyouko could not meet her gaze. "We were all idiots once. Difference is, I've grown out of it."

"I don't think you have. Last night is proof enough."

She was trapped. Kyouko felt the cage closing in around her. The blue-haired girl sitting across from her had on the widest smirk she had ever seen. No matter how hard Kyouko tried to deny it there was simply nothing to say. And there was nothing to deny, not when in her heart she agreed.

"Stay with me," Sayaka said. "We _are_ similar, more so than anything else in the world. I want to know you more. And you must feel the same towards me, if only just a little bit. So stay."

The world trembled at the word _stay_. Kyouko saw two roads as clearly as if she came upon them in a wood: one road stretching way off into the distance, where she would live the life she had always lived and would always continue to live, moving from place to place, drowning her regret behind endless entertainment, and when she finally died there would be no one to mourn her death; and the other road that led nowhere, on a journey even more horrifying – the unknown.

"Alright," she whispered.

A grin broke out across Sayaka's face. She laughed in pleasure, so easy and breathless Kyouko wondered how it had ever been a choice at all.

"Let's get started," she said.

"Start what?"

"Getting to know you."

Kyouko bit her lip. When she tried to speak her words died in her throat. Her voice did not feel her own. Too long, she realized – she could not remember the last time she spoke without the arrogance she had painstakingly cultivated. She ran her tongue over her lips and tried again.

"When I was young," Kyouko started, "My father owned a church…"

* * *

A/N: That wraps up the flashbacks! Things will resume next chapter.

I've received some comments about people regarding my use of the term "Grief Seeds." This is a stylistic choice by me. Yes, they are technically called Grief Cubes in the post-Madoka world, but Grief Cube sounds lame. So I've decided to stick with Grief Seeds.


	10. Catalyst

A/N: I know it's been a long time since I last updated, and I'm really sorry, but I have a lot of schoolwork and little time to write. If it helps, know that I will never drop a series – I'll tough it out to the end, even if it takes me several months between chapters. After several flashbacks, this chapter returns us to the present, where the girls are setting out to hunt down the demon responsible for the suicides in Mitakihara.

Chapter Ten: Catalyst

"No matter what happens, remember I'm always looking out for you."

Before they left, Kyouko pulled her to the side and spoke those words. Sayaka blinked at her.

"…Thanks," she said.

Kyouko looked slightly embarrassed; as if she knew what she said was cliché. Still she continued on. "The fight tonight is dangerous. We know almost nothing about this demon, not even how strong it is. Even the four of us together might not be able to defeat it. You must be prepared for anything. Even death."

"That's not going to happen," Sayaka said confidently.

"People will die tonight."

"You're being awfully pessimistic."

"Just keep it in mind. Whatever happens, everything I do is for your sake."

"Oh, stop that. You're making me blush." Sayaka's tone was sardonic but the red-head's words had lit up a flame inside her stomach and she cupped her heart over it as she might cup her hands over a real flame, savoring the warmth.

"Are you two ready?" Mami called from the hall.

"We will not walk away from this fight whole," Kyouko said, "and maybe that's for the best. The city cannot sustain all four of us and tonight is my only chance to change that."

She squeezed Sayaka's hand one last time. The gesture was meant to be reassuring, and it would've been, had it been from anyone else. All it left inside Sayaka was a sense of unease. Kyouko had said the word _death_ with certainty, with the same inevitability she might've used to say that flesh bleeds when cut. If something could scare Kyouko so much, then what were they really up against?

* * *

They arrived at the docks with a full moon hanging in the sky. Long rows of warehouses lined the path all the way to the bay and they walked through the unbroken shadow cast by the buildings. The place was deserted – in the past the port had been a commerce center, but the relentless march of technology had relegated the port into obscurity like so many other anachronisms. Kyouko took the lead with Kyubey on her shoulder. Waves rolled way off in the distance, _kusha, kusha,_ but otherwise silence and sea fog stilled the world.

"You're absolutely sure this is the right place?" Mami said.

Kyouko growled.

"I was just making sure," Mami said with a sigh. "This seems…an awfully unlikely place for a demon to hang out."

"Let me do my job and just focus on yours. All you need to do is fight – leave the thinkingpart to me. We only have one shot at this. If we fail, there's no way I'll be able to track it again."

"What's someone even doing here so late at night?" Sayaka said. "It's a strange place for a midnight stroll."

"People are weird. It doesn't matter. Our job is to kill what's inside of him."

"And what about the host?" Mami said. "Will he be alright?"

"Yes, he'll be perfectly fine after being possessed by a demon." Kyouko ran a hand through her hair. "Are you really that stupid? You know what happens when someone is possessed. They're as good as dead. The most we can do for him is to put him down before the demon feeds on him even more."

Mami bit her lip. In the soft glow of moonlight a halo of curls framed her face.

"Is there really nothing we can do? A demon is one thing, but to kill an actual person…"

"Kyouko is right," Kyubey said. "Throughout the entirety of human history there has been no record of anyone surviving demonic possession."

"To kill an actual person…" Sayaka's tone grew soft. She looked down at the ground, her steps faltering.

"Unfortunate, but unavoidable," said Homura. "Who he is is not important. What he feels is not important. To us, all he is is a way to survive. Sacrifices must be made in any endeavor. This is the easiest way to think about someone you cannot save."

Kyouko held up a hand. The others fell silent, pausing behind her. Inside her skull the buzzing had been steadily getting louder, from a wasp when they first left Mami's house now to a chainsaw humming against the stuff of her brain. And still it grew, threatening to blot out her thoughts.

"It's close," she murmured.

Nausea balled in the pit of her stomach. She tried to place its origin and was surprised to realize it was fear – not fear of death but fear of failure, of the consequences Sayaka would suffer if she failed. Red eyes scanned the line of buildings leading to the sea. Wind blew brine-soaked fog through her clothes and made her shiver – it was cold, she realized, cold at two in the morning in the heart of winter.

From the horizon emerged a silhouette with his back to the moonlight. The buzzing in Kyouko's brain spiked so suddenly her vision went dizzy. Something thick steeped the air and crawled along her skin like a spider. She squinted but couldn't see the person's features in the dark. Were it not for the faint outline of light cast by the moon, she would not have been able to tell there was a person there at all. Yet there he came, stopping when he saw them, surprise evident in the suddenness of his halt – a distinctly human gesture. Four middle school girls alone at night. Did he possibly suspect these four would be his murderers? Certainly he had no clue that he carried within him the greatest danger Mitakihara had ever faced.

There was a story here, Kyouko reflected, a profound tale behind this man who walked the docks with a demon inside him. Some tragedy had opened a hole in his heart for a demon to crawl inside and fester. But they were not here for stories.

She transformed in a swirl of red light and when the light vanished she was already bent low to the ground, spear held at the ready.

"Is that him?" Sayaka asked.

"Get ready."

"Let's make sure first," Mami said. "What if you made a mistake? You can't be sure –"

"I'm sure," Kyouko said, and lunged forward.

She did not look at his face. Did not want to look. Still she caught a glimpse of terrified eyes before she tore her gaze away. The metal point slid smoothly in and out of his body. The hole it made was barely wider than her finger. The corpse slid forward into the ground.

Kyouko took a step back. A little pool of blood swelled underneath the body. Such frail things, humans – she had forgotten how easily they died, had forgotten that though they shared similar forms, magical girls and humans were as separate as sky and sea. A mote of pity rose within her throat and she squashed it down ruthlessly. He didn't even have time to scream.

Now Sayaka and I are the same, she realized with a spasm of pleasure.

Shadows cast by the warehouses dyed the blood black. Kyubey jumped down from Kyouko's shoulder, white paws stained black as he circled the corpse. Cautiously, the others walked up to it as if it would come back to life at any moment. Mami held her musket with her finger on the trigger, Sayaka braced both hands on the hilt of her sword, Homura nocked an arrow to her bow. In silence the four of them waited. Bitter and metallic, the smell of blood filled the air.

"You were wrong," Mami said at last, hands shaking on her her musket. "You were wrong and now an innocent person has –"

A tattered black hand shot out of the corpse. It grabbed Mami's arm and _pulled_. There was a sound like wet paper ripping, and a scream. She crumpled to the ground, clutching at her shoulder where only a few tatters of flesh and cloth fluttered where once had been an arm.

All at once things went wrong. Blackness erupted from the corpse in a torrent so sudden the world vanished within the blink of an eye. Before Kyouko could even grasp what was going on, something ripped into her side and tore out a chunk of flesh as large as her head. She gasped and doubled over. When she looked back up all she saw were great black shapes writhing in the night. A warehouse above her collapsed as a tendril crashed through its roof. The demon's outline merged with the darkness until it was impossible to discern its form or even its size – it might've been as large as the sky, it swallowed the moon and stars. Yet still more darkness sluiced outwards, more than could ever have possibly been contained by the corpse, an ocean pouring forth from a thimble.

Two months of searching and we've finally found it, Kyouko thought. Now what?

Gritting her teeth, she leapt back, letting her magic heal the wound. She spared a glance at Mami. The blonde had retreated a safe distance, sitting cross-legged in the shadow of a warehouse clutching the remains of her arm. Golden light poured out of the gap, bone and flesh growing inch by inch and already it had regenerated up to the elbow. Mami was safe, for the moment. Sayaka and Homura, too, had retreated, eyeing the demon warily, unsure whether to risk an attack. By now it had reached the size of a small mountain. Formless, its skin rippled and contorted and bent back on itself in ways that should not have been possible. As Kyouko watched, one section of its body blew up outwards like a balloon. The black tumor swelled and swelled until it collapsed under its own weight, sloughing off onto the ground in a pulsating lump like a piece of meat spat out in mastication. Then the tumor stood up on four legs.

Kyouko's surprise lasted the half second it took for the tumor to reach her – except it was no longer a shapeless mass but a wolf, sleek and bristling and hurtling towards her so quickly its blur was almost invisible. She barely brought up her spear before the wolf's fangs closed around the shaft. A second later and it would've been her throat those fangs were sunk in to. Kyouko flung the thing aside – it was surprisingly light, as if it were hollow. Jaws snapping, the wolf came at her again.

Pure instinct took over. She held her spear point-first in front of her. At the very last minute, right as the wolf leapt at her, she thrust it outwards. The wolf's momentum drove the soft flesh of its belly straight through the spear, where it slid forward several inches along the shaft before coming to a stop, jaws snapping in front her face, claws swiping empty air. It twitched once, twice, and stopped.

With effort she ripped her spear free. The wolf's corpse cracked and rippled and decomposed as quickly as rotten meat under a summer sun.

Panting, adrenaline still pumping in her veins, Kyouko looked around her. The dock was in chaos. More tumors swelled out of the original demon's body, so many it looked like its skin was boiling. In the darkness she couldn't make out most of the shapes, but through brief flashes of moonlight she saw a tiger, a snake, a spider – a menagerie of monsters. A short distance away Sayaka danced around a six-legged insect that slashed at her with as many arms. She evaded each strike with the moonlight upon her face and laughter on her lips and Kyouko forced herself to tear her gaze away to the others. Homura was fighting a great black shadowing in the sky, loosing one arrow after another as she desperately tried to maintain her distance. And Mami, her arm healed, was fighting two demons at once, and losing badly.

"Fascinating," a voice piped up. Instantly, Kyouko leveled her spear at the source but it was merely Kyubey, inspecting the battlefield with unblinking red eyes. "They each seem to move independently. A demon that gives birth to other demons. This is unprecedented."

"Don't sound so happy," Kyouko growled.

"It is lucky we were able to find it. Luck, and a shame."

"A shame?"

"Indeed. I would have enjoyed seeing the birth of a Walpurgisnacht."

Kyouko gripped her spear and wondered if she had the time to impale a white-furred rodent while she was at it.

"You have a more important enemy to deal with than me," Kyubey reminded her.

And so she had. Kyouko's plan had been formulating inside her mind only in generalities, but now it solidified into concrete steps, like camera lens snapping into focus. What had started out as a fight against one demon had turned into a fight against an army. Could they win? Perhaps, but only at great cost to their magic reserves. And even if they did win this once, what of the times afterwards? A return to the status quo meant a sure, slow death for them all.

She had to act quickly. Every second more demons burst forth, as numerous as eggs from a spider. Kyouko cut through another by the time she reached Mami, who by now was surrounded by four at once. She must have still been recovering when they attacked her in the shadow of the warehouse – her arm had been healed but the cloth hadn't resewn yet, and she fought with one arm milky bare. She shot a musket, discarded it, picked up another, rinse and repeat, hands moving so fast she might've been playing an instrument. And yet it was obvious she could not last much longer. She was a ranged attacker doing her utmost to simply stay alive in the melee. Even now, as she blasted a demon in the chest, another was creeping up behind her, its claws poised to crush her skull.

Kyouko leapt forward. She thrust her spear into the back of the attacker's head and drew it to the side, hard, completely slicing open the left side of its face. Blackness splattering from the hole, the demon fell forward. Wrenching her spear free, Kyouko tore through the neck of the second demon next to it. The third one noticed her – too late, as the spear point jabbed three quick times in quick succession to its chest. A final round of musket fire signaled that Mami had dealt with the last one.

The blonde leaned against her musket, panting. Sweat beaded on her face and half a dozen cuts lined her flesh, blood-red scars shining gold as her Soul Gem tried to keep up with the damage.

"Thank you," she gasped.

"I don't want you dead just yet."

Mami wiped the sweat from her eyes. "I can't keep this up. There's no telling how many more of these things are there."

She was at sixty percent, Kyouko estimated, judging from her Soul Gem's color and the flecks of black across its surface. If Mami kept fighting, there was no telling how much more corruption her Soul Gem would take – or how much weaker she would become. Kyouko cast a glance at the mother demon. Its skin continued to expand and burst with no sign of stopping, and it was easy to imagine demons being born until the end of time, until all of Mitakihara was covered, until the entire world. If it ever came to a war of attrition between them and it, there was an obvious victor.

"For once you said something intelligent." Kyouko jabbed her spear at the shadow looming on the horizon. "We need to strike at the source."

"How? We can't possibly fight through – "

"We need a distraction. It's the smaller demons that are the problem. If we can somehow draw their attention, that'll leave the mother demon defenseless," Kyouko said with a confidence she didn't quite believe. "The opening will be brief. Once their attention is drawn, we strike."

"And how exactly do we do all that?"

"We split up. Sayaka and Homura will serve as the distraction. There's a lot of small demons, but they're more annoying than anything else. As long as those two focus on staying alive, they should be fine. The attack is the crucial and most dangerous part – that's why you and I, as the two most experienced magical girls, will do it."

Mami's eyes widened. "Us two?"

"Got a problem with me?" Kyouko snapped. "If you got a better idea, feel free to say it. Take all the time you need, don't mind the demons swarming us in the meantime."

"That's not – " Mami started, then smiled. Picking up her musket, she straightened herself. "I'll trust you on this. What do I need to do?"

"You tell Homura, I'll tell Sayaka. Quickly, before this gets even more out of hand. Meet me at the entrance of the docks when you're done. That should give them enough time. Speed is the most crucial factor. Sayaka and Homura can't survive for long. The moment the demons' attention is diverted, we strike hard and fast."

Mami nodded. Without another word the two of them separated. The demons were so numerous now that only the movement of their dark bodies against the night could be seen. Kyouko tried to avoid as many as she could but it was an impossible feat, like trying to walk through a rainstorm without getting wet. Luckily, finding Sayaka was easy: the glint of her blades in the moonlight, the sheen of her uniform against the darkness, the clear tones of her laughter drifting over the roar of battle like sweet music, drew Kyouko to her as surely as a lighthouse in the storm. No more than twenty feet from the mother demon, Sayaka lay at the heart of a roiling blackness, surrounded on all sides by demons, one lone girl against the tide.

"Sayaka!"

Kyouko's voice curled and withered in the din.

"Sayaka!" she called again.

The mass of demons ringed the blue-haired girl in a cloud so dense Sayaka herself was barely visible, only the white slivers of her blades showing up clearly against the blackness. And judging by her reckless laughter, even if she had heard Kyouko, it was doubtful she would even realize it.

There was no helping it, then. Taking a deep breath, holding her spear in front of her, Kyouko dove forward into the heart of the black cloud. It was like diving into the sea. The mass of demons broke upon her spear and she drowned in a sea of shrieks. Something rustled against her skin, she tasted rancid wetness on her lips, liquid splattered into her eyes, and even when at last she broke free into the center she could still feel it clinging to her skin. Greedily, she sucked in breaths of air. Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she stood up and readied her spear and ducked just in time to avoid getting decapitated by a pair of swords.

"Sayaka!"  
The blue-haired girl stared at her with unfocused eyes. Her smile was all teeth and her laughter was all lunacy. Her swords were already driving forward once again, ready to kill this new enemy – then her neck snapped sideways as if she had just been slapped. Her arms fell to her sides. She blinked.

"Kyouko? What are you doing here?"

"You need to – " A claw ripped into Kyouko's back. She snarled, lashing out blindly with her spear. " – get out of here. Meet up with Homura – " The spear point found purchase in something soft and she ripped it upwards. " – help her…"

"Help her what?"

Two rows of teeth clamped around Kyouko's arm. She thrashed but the jaws clenched tight. The teeth dug into her flesh, digging deeper and deeper the more she thrashed. In one final wrench she managed to free her arm, but tore away so much flesh that her arm resembled ground meat.

"Provide a distraction," she finished, panting. "Mami and I are going to – Get down!"

Kyouko grabbed Sayaka's arm and pulled her, hard, as the jaws of a demon closed around the space the blue-haired girl had occupied a moment prior. This was not a good place to fight, Kyouko thought, pain lancing up the remnants of her arm. Much less talk. Sayaka was too vulnerable, too inexperienced, and most of all too damn confident. If it were up to her, she would fight until her swords turned to scrap in her hands and her Soul Gem was ground to dust.

But Kyouko was not that foolish. Clutching Sayaka tight against her body, ignoring her struggles, Kyouko leapt as high as she could. It was an imperfect escape. Her Soul Gem was darker than she ever remembered and the muscles in her legs screamed from the effort. They sailed over the heads of demons so barely that the spittle from their jaws landed on their skirts. A claw closed around Kyouko's leg and for one horrifying moment she thought they would be pulled down into the demons like a diver pulled towards the bottom of the sea, but its grip loosened and they were free. When they landed, she held on to Sayaka for another second; beyond her shoulder Kyouko could see the demons chasing after them, and beyond the demons, the bloated, effervescent form of their mother.

"Thanks," Sayaka said, dusting off her skirt, "But I was fine. I could've handled those demons myself."

With as much acerbity as she could muster, Kyouko said, "Yeah, right."

The blue-haired girl was a mess. Sweat had turned her sky-blue hair the color of a bruise. Her uniform was ripped in a dozen places, gaping wounds peeking out beneath the rips, bits of bone peeking out beneath the blood. Two fingers were missing from her left hand. Only bloody stumps remained, and Kyouko marveled that she had been able to grip a sword with just three fingers.

"I'll manage. So what did you want?"

"There's been a change of plans," Kyouko said. Not like they had a plan to begin with. "If this drags out we'll all die. In order to win we need to strike at the source – the original demon. Mami and I will lead the attack. You and Homura need to serve as a distraction. Get the smaller demons off our backs."

Sayaka raised an eyebrow. "You and Mami?"

"Yeah? So what?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised that you're finally getting along. Surprised and very, very glad." She grinned. "So I'm providing a distraction, right? Easy enough. All I have to do kill as many demons as I can, that'll get their attention – "

"No, that's _not_ what you need to do." Kyouko glared at her. "Your goal is to stay alive. Don't fight any more than you have to."

Sayaka scowled. "That's no fun."

"We're not here to have fun. We're here to survive." Kyouko spared a glance around them, at the dark shapes speeding towards them with a sound like growing thunder. Ten seconds, maybe, before they were overrun.

"I can take them – "

" _Sayaka._ "

"Alright, alright." She held her hands up placatingly. "It's not like I was planning on getting myself killed, you know."

She's not taking this seriously, Kyouko realized. On some level, this was all still a game – to her the battlefield was a playground, and she was intoxicated on the adrenaline, the power, the thrill. Sayaka thought of herself as the main character of a story. With her friends, she defended Mitakihara against evil, and so what if a few dangerous situations arose? – heroes always faced danger and triumphed. Justice wins out in the end. No matter how many times Sayaka had heard the word "death," no matter how many times she herself had uttered the word, on a deeper level she had never even contemplated the possibility.

"Rendezvous with Homura as fast as you can. And promise me you'll survive," Kyouko pleaded. "If you die all of this is meaningless."

Around them the howl of demons was thundering now. Sayaka opened her mouth to reply but her voice was drowned out. They were out of time. With one final, stony glance that Kyouko desperately hoped would imprint upon Sayaka the gravity of their situation, she turned away and headed for the entrance of the docks.

* * *

She found Mami already there, leaning against a streetlamp with a rifle under her arm.

"You got here quick," Kyouko said.

Light bathed the blonde like a spotlight. The Soul Gem set in her hair gleamed a burnished bronze, a far cry from its usual gold. She bore more wounds than the last time Kyouko had seen her. Her uniform was torn where claw or teeth had slashed it, and peering out beneath the cloth were wounds still bleeding profusely, staining the surrounding fabric pink. When she saw Kyouko she gave a tired wave.

"Now what?" she asked.

Kyouko sat down next to her on the hard cement. In the distance came the sounds of battle as Homura and Sayaka fought for their lives. But it was quiet here, and the night was very beautiful.

"We wait."

"For…?"

"Before we go in, we need to give Sayaka and Homura the chance to grab the demons' attention. Then we slip in, unseen, and finish the job. That's why we're here, away from the battlefield. If we rush in now, that'll defeat the whole point." Kyouko would've preferred not to leave Sayaka, but a few minutes should be fine, especially with Homura there to back her up. The next step was the most crucial. There was no use in rushing.

Bracing her palms against the cement, she leaned backwards and looked at the sky. It was a rare opportunity for a moment like this in the middle of battle. Such a clear night. Their battle seemed a dream – the night so calm, the wind so cool. Through a crack between the buildings a sliver of sea was just barely visible. The moon outlined the water in fine silver that stretched endlessly towards the horizon. If that one microcosm of sea was to be believed, the entire world lay at peace.

Mami said quietly, "Alright. Tell me when we're going." She closed her eyes. Her breathing was shallow, her head sunk into her chest. This was probably the first time she had ever felt so magic deprived, Kyouko realized. Not even the small scratches on her skin were healing. As expected, she must've spent all her magic fighting against the demon in an effort to save her precious city, with no thought to the consequences. What a fool.

Half-heartedly, she reached for her spear. The gesture died somewhere between the touch and lift. Her hands fell back down. Instead she said, "What are you going to do afterwards?"

Mami's eyes opened. She looked at Kyouko strangely. "After what?"

"After…" Kyouko waved her hand vaguely. "…this."

"This battle? The first thing I'd do is take a long, hot bath, then drink some cocoa. Afterwards I'll curl up with a book, or watch some TV, or just sleep for a good, long while. Why'd you ask?"

Why _did_ she ask? It surely wasn't because she cared. Kyouko was amazed at how much she was trying to delay the inevitable. Sitting here, staring at the sky with the cold pavement under her palms and the wind against her face, it was easy to think the moment would last forever – that the world beyond this small part of the docks simply didn't exist, that demons didn't exist, that Grief Seeds didn't exist, that death didn't exist.

"Just curious," Kyouko said.

A beat.

"You know," Mami said, "I was surprised when you said we were going to partner up for the attack."

"Why?"

"I didn't think you'd trust me. I was sure you were going to pick Sayaka."

"Wouldn't work. We're both melee."

"Why not Homura, then?"

Kyouko muttered something unintelligible.

"I was also very happy," Mami said, smiling. "I know we've had our differences, but I've always wanted to become friends with you. After…my parents died and I became a magical girl, I haven't had a lot of chances to make friends. That's why I'm so possessive of the few I have. Especially Sayaka. I think it's the same for you, too. I'm sorry for what I've done before – I know I haven't been as patient with you as I should've been. And I know how difficult it must've been for you to come out of your shell. Working with people you see as your enemies takes a lot of courage.

"I know you probably don't plan on associating with me or Homura anymore after tonight. That's fine, if you really don't want to…but think about everything we've done together. You've admitted as much that you can't take on this demon alone. Actually, even with all four of us, I'm still not sure if it's possible. But the potential is there, and that makes all the difference, don't you see? Give us another chance, Kyouko. We care about you more than you realize. We won't ask you to share your Grief Seeds with us any more – I know it's awfully selfish to force our beliefs on you. But work with us, don't be scared to ask for help, don't try to carry the burden alone. That's not too much to ask, is it?"

God she was making this so much more difficult than it had any right to be. Something hard balled up inside Kyouko's throat and with effort she squeezed it back down. Slowly, she stood up, clenching her spear tightly in her fist. She dared to meet Mami's eyes.

This is what I will never have, she thought. I could live ten thousand years and never obtain a fraction of what this girl displays without effort. Remember it, because this is purest goodness you will experience in this cold, lonely world – and soon you will snuff it out.

She shook her head.

Mami's expression fell. All at once the world dimmed; the streetlight faded, the moon hid behind a cloud, the stars lost their luster.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Mami looked away. "I had hoped – I had hoped that you would – "

"I'm sorry," Kyouko said, and plunged her spear into Mami's heart.

There was the soft hush of cloth ripping. Then a crackle as bone splintered. Mami gave no scream, no cry of pain. She looked down at her chest. Red tendrils blossomed and soaked her shirt. Three bright red spots splattered against the cement. Reaching a hand up to the wound, she dabbed at the blood as if to make sure it was real. Her fingers came away red.

"This is the only way," Kyouko said. "Don't you see? This is the only way."

Mami coughed. A rivulet of blood ran down her mouth. A word, half-sighed, escaped her lips.

"…Why?"

Kyouko leaned in so close the smell of blood filled her. "As long as you are alive Sayaka will die. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but as long as you are alive she will die. She trusts you too much, and the path you are leading her towards can only kill her. It had to be done."

"I…I thought – "

"Whatever you thought, you thought wrong, you poor, stupid girl. I've never thought of you as a friend and you should have done the same for me. I warned you that that idealism of yours was going to kill you one day." Kyouko twisted her spear. Mami cried out, a gurgling sound muffled by the blood in her throat. "You were happy when I decided to partner with you? Don't make me laugh – it was all for the sake of getting you alone, getting you _weak_. I knew you wouldn't stand by when a demon was ravaging your precious city. You'd go after it, no matter how dumb, how thoughtless, how utterly _childish_ , it would be. Look at you now. Once so powerful, and now you can barely stand. You once had me in this position once. You let me go, but I won't make that mistake."

Mami made a move to raise her gun. Kyouko grabbed her wrist and bent it backwards until she heard something crack. The gun clattered to the ground. Mami's other hand pressed against her, trying to push her off, with the strength of a child. Kyouko intertwined her fingers with hers and squeezed and squeezed until the bones were crushed in her grip. When she let go the mangled hand resembled a lump of flesh-colored clay.

Kyouko pulled out the spear. Mami's body crumpled to the ground. She sagged against the streetlamp like a doll.

"Please," she said without raising her head.

Kyouko braced the point of the spear against her neck.

"Goodbye."

What a strange noise, Kyouko thought, staring at the headless corpse, that the spine made when it snapped. Like a loose violin string. The body sat motionless underneath the light. Like a squeezed pomegranate, the severed trunk of the neck continued oozed blood with every beat of its dying heart. More blood flowed from the hole in its chest down its shirt onto the ground. The puddle it formed ran black where the light did not reach.

"It had to be done," she said.

It was difficult to breath. She staggered and leaned against the spear to steady herself, leaned against it with so much weight the point drove half an inch into the ground. I won, she thought. I finally beat her. The damn rich girl who had everything I didn't. And with one less magical girl in this city we'll live all the better. I had wanted to do this ever since I first laid eyes on that dumb girl. Kyouko's happiness – because what else could it be? – made her dizzy, made her want to sink to her knees and bury her face in her hands.

A few feet away Mami's head lay face-down on the ground; it had managed to roll surprisingly far. Kyouko picked it up by the golden tresses. The face was half-lidded eyes and parted mouth and blood was still dripping from the stump. All color was gone from the face, the lips, the skin, even the pupils. She brought it up to eye-level.

"It had to be done," she explained. "I had no choice. Don't you see?"

Its lips creased upwards in a smile. Horrified, Kyouko stumbled back and flung it through the air. The rictus of its smile caught the moonlight and Kyouko jerked her head back to avoid looking at that face, could still feel the golden eyes peering at her. Turning away, she took a step, slipped, fell down. Blood splashed onto her skirt and painted her palms red. She vomited. When it was over she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She took a deep breath to calm herself – a mistake. The smell made her gag. She squeezed her eyes shut.

It had to done, for Sayaka, for yourself. But when she opened her eyes again her hands were still shaking. Demons never made such a mess. So much planning had gone into the moment, so many risks taken, and in the end it had all worked out perfectly. Victory, she thought, and the word burned acid onto her tongue.

At length her heart stilled. Not entirely, but sufficiently. A blast of wind blew in from the sea and replaced the smell of blood with the smell of salt. From the direction of the battlefield still came the roar of demons. The night was not yet over, she reminded herself. There was still work to be done – and Sayaka, poor Sayaka, was still fighting for her life.

Kyouko forced her legs to stand up and carry her back to the body slumped against the streetlamp. Scooping it up in her arms, she began to walk.


	11. They Who Slay

Chapter Eleven: They Who Slay

When Sayaka was young, one of her neighbors owned a dog that she had to walk by on her way to elementary school. It was an ugly, ferocious Dane, larger than the little girl herself, with black fur and a scar down one eye. It was chained to the front yard, though the chain did nothing to assuage its temper. Whenever somebody walked by it would bark madly, tugging on the chain, always on the verge of ripping free, and Sayaka's parents proclaimed loudly around the dinner table that it was a miracle the thing hadn't mauled anyone yet. At night its barking could be heard throughout the neighborhood. Whenever Sayaka saw the dog, whenever she heard its barking, she wished that someone would just take it away.

At last the worst came to pass: Sayaka was walking to school with one of her friends – the name escaped her, in time they had drifted apart, but in those days they had been close – and the two of them must've been talking about a very engaging topic, because they didn't realize they were at the house with the dog until they walked right by it. Her friend laughed at some joke, didn't notice she had wandered a few steps onto the lawn. The dog dove at her. She screamed and went down in a mass of black fur. By the time the passerbys freed her from the dog's jaws, she was unconscious and bleeding so badly the blood had pooled in a puddle below her body. Sayaka still remembered standing in that puddle of blood, liquid staining her sneakers, staring at the grinning dog with red smeared over its teeth and thinking to herself what a better place the world would be without it.

That night, Sayaka crept out of bed and took a chunk of raw hamburger meat from the freezer. With this in one hand and a kitchen knife in the other, she snuck over to the dog's house. It started barking the moment it saw her, ears standing on end, lips pulled back over its fangs. So close that its spittle landed on her pajamas, she waved the hamburger meat in front of its face. The dog went crazy. It pawed the ground, teeth snapping and spitting saliva, the muscles in its neck taught as it struggled against its chain for the few precious inches left between it and its food.

Sayaka unzipped the hamburger bag and dumped its contents on the grass. The dog tore into it like a meat grinder, sending bits of raw meat flying. She watched it for a few seconds. Once she was certain it was occupied, she took out the kitchen knife from beneath her jacket. The wooden handle was smooth and polished in her palms.

She drove the knife through the dog's right eye. There was a squirt of blood, and a sound like egg yolk slipping outs of its shell. The dog's head arched up in the air. It howled and howled and howled, thrashing its body in the grass, blood dripping out of its eye down its face into its mouth and Sayaka watched it with her hands shaking on the knife thinking the entire time, you deserve it. She wiped the blade on the grass and went back home, where she more thoroughly cleaned the knife in the kitchen sink and replaced it on the cutlery board.

They found the dog the next morning bled to death. The police launched an investigation, but little Sayaka, of course, was never considered, and her mother never did remember where she put that extra bag of hamburger meat. Eventually the dog's owner moved away; a much nicer couple moved in, her friend recovered, and over time the incident was forgotten, except whenever Sayaka walked by the house where the dog used to be chained up, all the way through the end of her elementary years, she would smile and remember the feeling of the knife.

She didn't know why that memory came up now. But the feeling was similar, of putting down monsters that only served to worsen the world. In front of her the darkness surged forward like a tidal wave, so many demons pressed together they formed a living, undulating thing, and she stood against them with magic in her veins and a sword in each hand. More deadly than a kitchen knife, certainly, but this time _she_ was the hamburger meat.

How convenient, for them to come at her like this! Each slash cut through three, four demons at once, and for each one that died two more took its place. Dimly, she could just make out the silhouette of the original demon at the end of the pier, as large as a sheet-black skyscraper blotting out the moon, towering over the white sea line glimmering in the night. The shadow it cast reached her even here.

Perhaps this might go on forever, she thought, decapitating a demon with a cross of her blades. The black blood spraying against her flesh was like a cool shower after a summer day. She had lost all track of time. How long ago had Kyouko left? How many of these lesser demons had she killed? How much longer can she last? She found out she didn't quite care about the answers.

" – ka! Sayaka!"

A hand grabbed her shoulder and a voice shouted into her ear: "There's too many! We need to get back!"

Three purple streaks shot past her and exploded into fireworks. Shrapnels of magic shot off in every direction, bathing the battlefield in purple light.

"Sayaka, did you hear me?" Homura shouted again. "Get back!"

Reluctantly, Sayaka let herself be dragged away. A final volley of arrows launched through the air as Homura strung her bow across one shoulder, pulling Sayaka with her free hand.

"Something's gone wrong," she said, her hair whipping in the wind. "It's been twenty minutes and they still haven't returned. We must assume the worst."

"No," Sayaka said. "They're still fighting. We need to buy them more time – "

"Do you think we can? Look at yourself."

Sayaka bit her lip. The adrenaline was wearing off and the pain was returning now like the slow trickle of a faucet. She was aware of a sharp, stabbing pain at her leg, and another lance of pain that wrapped around her spine like a corkscrew, and a throbbing pain behind her ear that pulsed every time she blinked. Blood-soaked sweat seeped into her eyes and she had to wipe it away with a hand that was missing half the fingers. And with the pain returned enough of her senses to tell her that they would surely be killed if they continued to fight. She spared a glance behind her: the demons chased after them, gaining, unstoppable, relentless, yet all she could think of was that same tide turned the opposite direction, back to their creator, towards a pair of unsuspecting magical girls who could deal with them even less than she could.

"We need to – " she started, and saw the figure walking towards them from the entrance of the pier.

It was a grossly distorted silhouette, bulging out at the middle, obscene in shape, and it took Sayaka several seconds to realize it was a person carrying something. The object in its arms was evidently very heavy, because the weight of it forced the figure into a drunken stagger, lurching back and forth, and at times it almost seemed to throw the thing away. A ray of starlight broke through the clouds and lit upon the silhouette – it was Kyouko, Sayaka thought with relief, recognizing the familiar red ponytail. Then she saw the thing in her arms: pale white and red, with scraps of cloth covering it, and at the top a red round hole…

Beside her, Homura's breath hitched. She stumbled in her run and would've fallen had Sayaka not caught her.

"She has a lot to answer for," the raven-haired girl hissed.

It was no doubt Kyouko, those familiar eyes, that hair, the torn red uniform that left her shoulders bare. And yet the sight of it frightened Sayaka. Where was Mami? She cast her eyes around the pier. No sign of the blonde. A hard little ball rose up her throat. She caught the first glimmer of the answer and immediately stamped it out, recoiled from its immensity. She felt dizzy, as if she was in a watercolor painting that had begun to run. No doubt just magic exhaustion. Kyouko walked towards them at a lazy pace – half walk, half stumble, and a burning desperation that had nothing to do with the demons on their trails drove the two of them towards her. What was that in Kyouko's arms? It was no doubt human: creamy ivory skin, the smooth rise of the chest, the gold ribbon fluttering undone at the base of the neck.

And Sayaka, too, caught her breath.

"What happened?"

Sayaka found herself gripping the redhead's shoulders, shaking her, watching the corpse rattle like a dead leaf in her arms. Kyouko shook her head. One pale limb of the corpse shook free, extending to the ground; its fingers were long and delicate and tattered yellow fabric ran down half the length of it. The scent of lemons hung sweet on the air.

"This isn't a good place," Kyouko said. "We should get back – "

Homura arched her bow at the sky and fired. A single arrow rose to the apex; five arrows came down. The arrows formed a circle around the girls ten meters wide, pulsating with violet light, and from each arrow extended two lines so each arrow marked the point of a pentagram, inscribed on the ground beneath their feet. A substance like glass – if glass were watery and malleable – rose up around them, encasing them in a transparent purple dome. The sea of demons broke upon the dome and flowed around it like water around a stone. The demons smashed into it, pressed their faces up to it like children in a candy shop, their features grossly distorted.

Calmly, as if they were not completely surrounded by demons, Homura restrung her bow. She aimed the arrow at Kyouko.

"Explain. Now."

The redhead swallowed. Her tongue darted out and licked her lips.

"We were…we were fighting the demon, as planned, then something went wrong…I'm not sure what happened. I had my back turned and when I looked back she was like this. After that I got out as soon as I could."

"You came from the opposite direction," Homura said.

"Well…I sure as hell wasn't going to go through all _that_ , was I?" Kyouko said, gesturing to the demons around them. Her tone was biting but she did not meet Homura's eyes.

Homura said something else but Sayaka no longer paid attention to them. Gently, she put her hands on the white flesh. The coldness of it made her shudder. Mami had been warmth – this cold unfeeling thing could not possibly have been her. Two hours ago they had been sitting together in a brightly-lit room that smelled of sunflowers, eating cake and drinking tea, and the sweetness of the pastries and of the memory still lingered on her tongue. She ran her fingers up the blood-drenched thigh and traced the contours of the torso where the swell of the breasts began. She stopped at the base of the neck. That stunted column was entirely red, the blood still fluid but no longer warm, and when she pressed her fingers hard against the groove there was no heartbeat.

Kyubey perched on Kyouko's shoulder. Bending down, he sniffed the corpse.

"The wound was made with a sharp instrument," he said. "Her muscles are still relaxed. Rigor mortis is late in setting in. She was not expecting to be attacked when she died."

"I don't remember you being such an expert on dead bodies," Kyouko snapped.

Kyubey flicked his tail. "Just an observation."

"How could you let this happen?" Sayaka said.

Kyouko flinched. "I…tried. I'm sorry."

"You said your plan would work. You said we could win."

Defiantly, Kyouko shook her head. "I did what was best."

Sayaka clasped the cold hands in her own. With her fingers she twirled circles in the concave of the palm. Around them the demons crawled along the glass like bugs, making skittering noises. Some part of her still did not believe – she was watching herself on a television screen, watching some new drama curled up in her couch with a bag of chips in hand. What a terrible development, she thought, wiping away an invisible tear. And in a few minutes she would turn off the television and go to bed.

"She was too good for the world," she murmured. "If Mami's gone, what hope is there for us?"

"Plenty," said Kyouko. "Mami sacrificed her life for us. Don't throw it away."

"Was that all she was to you? A sacrifice?"

Kyouko set her jaw. She was angry – but Sayaka couldn't find it in herself to care.

"I thought you were strong," she said, knowing that she was running her mouth off now but she couldn't stop, had to give hurt as much as she was hurting "She trusted you. We trusted you. It was your plan."

"Listen here. I did everything – "

"It should've been me," Sayaka continued, tears running freely now. "Mami would've done far more good alive than me. If only it had been me instead – "

"Stop that! Don't even _joke_ about – "

"Are you happy?"

Kyouko's fingers clenched around the corpse. "I won't pretend to be miserable. But now's not the time for this. We're completely surrounded by demons and running out of magic. Unless you want to follow Mami into the afterlife, I suggest you suck it up."

A hollowness in the back of Sayaka's throat forced her to swallow painfully. She squeezed her eyes shut.

The first time she could remember crying had been when she was in first grade, when she had fallen out of a tree she had been stupid enough to climb on a dare. Her arm had required stitches and sometimes she still dreamed of the pain. She rubbed her eyes. Mami would not have liked her to cry – Mami would have held her in her arms and whispered in her ear of better days past, better days to come. And that the world will be alright. Beyond the bodies of demons pressed against the glass shone the hundred thousand lights of Mitakihara and if she strained her ears she swore she could hear the sound of laughter. _We live in a beautiful world, Sayaka_ , a gentle voice had told her once. _Won't you protect it with me?_

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to blame you. I know you tried your best."

She took a deep breath and burned into her mind the memory of that smile. Kyouko was right. She wasn't a child any more – she was a magical girl, with a magical girl's responsibilities and a magical girl's worries. She told herself (but did not quite convince herself) that there would be time to mourn, all the time in the world, afterwards, when she's curled up in the darkness of her bed with her pillow pressed to her cheeks.

She took the sadness and crushed it and crushed it until it was the size of a pin needling the inside of her stomach. In time it would burst open like a blister and maybe then it would shatter her. But it would not be now, when there was so much work to be done, so much left of the world to save.

"We can't let this thing live," she said. Her voice started out shaking but soon became steady, cold, and professional. "Left alone, it will destroy the city. If we wait, we can only get weaker while it gets stronger. We must kill it now."

_And murder it, smash it to pieces, pull it apart, ground up its flesh and teeth and bones until not an atom is left, make it suffer as much pain as a demon can possibly to feel…_

"That is a most difficult proposition," Homura said, her eyes never straying from Kyouko. She still had not yet put down her bow. "There is currently a multitude of smaller demons separating us. With Mami gone, our chances of winning are drastically reduced."

"Mami would never have let the demon run loose," Sayaka said.

"Kyouko has already let one of us die tonight. Do you feel safe?"

"Are you saying it's my fault?" Kyouko said, taking a step forward. "If you don't trust me then leave. Get out. Sayaka and I can handle this. Sit in your house while your Soul Gem rots."

The two of them stared at each other without movement. Dull thuds beat against the barrier. The demons covered the entirety of the dome and it was impossible to see through them – were it not for the gentle violet light of the dome itself, they would be standing in complete darkness. Thin white streaks were starting to appear in the glass, hairline fractures, like broken pottery pieced back together. Beads of sweat gathered at Homura's temple; her eye twitched, a drip of blood ran down her nose. At last, she put down her bow.

"Very well. We'll talk more about this later." She rubbed her temples – a rare display of vulnerability. "The barrier will not hold for much longer…another two minute, maximum. We need to come up with a plan before then."

"Our plan is the same," Kyouko said. "We still need to kill the original demon."

"That was already impossible with Mami alive. Now that she's gone, do you think we stand a chance?"

"Of course."

"How do we even reach it?"

"The old-fashioned way."

"A straight-out attack is suicide," Homura said immediately. Something large smashed into the barrier and she winced. "But I suppose there's little time for other plans."

"Wait," Sayaka said. "What about Mami?"

The corpse still lay in Kyouko's arms. She gave a start, as if she had forgotten about it.

"We have no choice," she said. "We can't carry it with us."

Of course, Sayaka thought. Don't be sentimental – what else did you expect to do with it? She pictured the headless body, discarded like trash on the ground, torn to bits by demons, and when the corpse is gone nothing will be left of that noble girl. She deserved a funeral in a white porcelain casket heralded by a procession hundreds long. A small tragedy, when they've already lost so much.

She nodded.

Homura took a deep breath. She restrung her bow, aiming a brilliant purple arrow at the base of the barrier. "I will disable the barrier. At that time, we will be completely surrounded. Follow my arrow."

Sayaka drew both swords, and from the corner of her eyes she saw Kyouko let the corpse fall to the ground. Its flesh lay black in her shadow.

A break. Splintering glass.

The roar of demons hit them like a mute button had been turned off, but they were already moving forward, chasing the tail of the arrow as it carved a path through the horde, incinerating everything in its path. Shards of glass rained down around them. The air burned with the arrow's magic, so dry Sayaka's lungs struggled to breathe. The smell of apricots was overpowering. Through the blinding purple light she could just make out the forms of the demons around them, shrieking in pain, cowering from the arrow, twisted and contorted like the shadow of a fire.

And then they were in the clear, running forward with the sea in the distance and the city to their left and the moon and stars above. Their footsteps fell on hard pavement and echoed in the crevices of the surrounding warehouses. Sayaka spared a glance behind her. The pack of demons was split in two, some of them cut clean where the arrow had vaporized its other half. The charred edges of their flesh sizzled like meat on the pan.

The arrow traveled another dozen feet before dissipating. With its last flash of luminescence it lit up the mother demon in the distance. With most of the demons concentrated in the tight mass they had just escaped from, the road ahead was clear – and then what? Sayaka tried not to think about it, looked up at the sky as they ran. Judging by the position of the moon it must be past three now. In another few hours people would be waking up, eating breakfast, going to school. It was surreal to think about. Mami was dead, and the world would keep on turning when it should be stopped dead in its tracks.

Homura was in bad shape. Sayaka had always suspected that the raven-haired girl was stronger than she let on, and that last arrow had certainly confirmed her suspicions. But it seemed even Homura's pool of magic had not been inexhaustible. She ran with a limp in her right leg, bow thudding against her thigh. Each step was punctuated by a soft _squish_ from the blood pooling in her shoes. She stumbled – Sayaka caught her, and as she helped her back up Homura said softly:

"Don't trust her."

"Huh?"

"Do you think Mami really died as Kyouko described? So conveniently when neither of us was around?"

Sayaka narrowed her eyes. "Are you implying…"

"Everyone has secrets, magical girls more than most."

Sayaka shot a glance at Kyouko, a good distance in front of them. The redhead's ponytail bobbed up and down as she ran.

"No," she said at last. "I refuse to believe it. She may not have liked Mami, but she would never…she would never kill another human being."

Homura's eyes took on that strange distance where she seemed to be looking _through_ Sayaka, speaking to someone at a point behind her. "Don't make mistakes you can never take back. What is done cannot be undone. Not any more, in this world."

Did Kyouko really…Sayaka cut off the chain of thought. Useless thoughts, untrue thoughts. This was no time for distractions. Beneath her the pavement trembled. The mother demon seemed to sense their intentions – its entire body quivered, and the top of the mountain shifted, as if turning its head. Behind them the mass of demons had recovered and started pursuit. No use in thinking frivolous thoughts when survival was that that mattered, Sayaka told herself.

Unfortunately, her hopes for a clear road were quickly dashed. As they approached the mother demon, the lesser demons began to appear again with increasing frequency. They choked the road, sitting on the pavement, lying in the shadows, perched on top of the roofs. Was there no end to these things? They reminded Sayaka of bacteria, the kind that grew so quickly they could cover the Earth in less than two days. Strangely enough, the demons did not move as the three girls approached. Even when Sayaka passed less than a dozen feet from one of them, it sat motionless, watching her as a fox would watch a rabbit running into its jaws. It was almost as if they were setting –

"A trap," Kyouko said. "Brace yourselves."

They passed some invisible threshold. A hundred black statues sprang to life. Something smashed into Sayaka's side and knocked her to the ground. She sprang up instantly, looked for her friends. Nothing but blackness. Something else hit her again, from the front this time, right in the stomach, doubling her over but _this_ time she did not fall. She jabbed both swords forward and ripped them outwards, heard the satisfying _slsh_ of flesh being torn apart. The thing split open like a watermelon. Behind her, a claw came down across her back, ripping her dress and drawing three bloody lines down her flesh. She howled in pain, whirling around just in time to see the offending demon collapse with a lance stuck in its chest.

"We don't have time for this!" Kyouko shouted. "Keep moving!"

With a grimace Sayaka let her swords vanish. This was not the time, not when so much was at stake, when Mami had sacrificed herself for this. Bending down on her knees, she aimed herself at that massive shadow looming less than a block away, ignored the claws digging into her shoulder and the talons scraping her flesh and the pincers closing around her throat. She sprung forward. A roar. Something huge and vaguely humanoid blocked her way. She leapt over its clumsy swipes and somersaulted gracefully over its head, landed behind it and did not look back, kept running. Brief flashes of red and purple, like bursts of fireworks in the darkness – Kyouko and Homura, then. Still alive. Still fighting. Her relief was short-lived. Some type of bird with talons spread like a five-petaled flower dove at her. She slid smoothly underneath it. She sidestepped the next demon, a dog with jaws larger than its body, letting it hurtle by an inch away from her. Not quite. Its teeth clipped her thigh. She limped on.

She was first to reach the base of the mother demon. The smooth wall of flesh rippled upwards and sideways as far as the eye could see, black and perfectly featureless. Materializing her sword again, she stabbed it into the wall. It went in with almost no resistance. When she removed her sword the wound dripped black oil, the smell foul and acrid. So the thing was surprisingly easy to bleed. When she peered into the wound she saw nothingness staring back.

"Not enough," Kyouko said behind her. The redhead sported a hole in her chest the size of a fist. On her spear were stuck the entrails of some unfortunate demon. Over her shoulder Sayaka could make out Homura lagging behind, injured, struggling to reach them, and though her heart went out to the girl Sayaka knew they could not waste time to help.

She bit her lip. Kyouko was right. On something so massive, her sword stab had been less than a pinprick. Conceivably, if they stabbed it a million times, they would be able to kill it – but the lesser demons would kill them long before.

"Any ideas?"

Kyouko shook her head.

"There's gotta be _something_. A weakness – "

"Before anything else," Kyouko said softly, staring straight at her, "I need to tell you something. If I don't say it now you might never know. I love…"

Sayaka nodded. She did not trust herself to speak. In any case there was no need for words.

Before them the demons surged closer, pressing Homura level with them. Sayaka gave a few more futile stabs at the mother demon, growled in frustration when all she got out of it was more of that stank oil. The three of them were pinned in from all sides with their backs to the wall of flesh. Nowhere left to run. They were tired, so tired. Sayaka heard her friends' tired pants and saw their limbs move through the darkness as if through water and felt the weight of her own flesh hanging on her bones. Is this how it ends? A slow grinding, mill ground to flour beneath a greater power, worn and worn away until there was nothing left? In rage she jabbed her sword into the mother demon again and ripped it down as hard as she could, leaving a five-inch gash that oozed oil like a paper cut, about as effective as one, too. Mami is dead. They are about to die. Over their corpses a thousand dark snuffling demons will feast. Before such monstrous evil there can be no escape.

How can such gross injustice be allowed to go unpunished?

She felt within herself a stirring. It started off in her belly like an ember. In an instant it fanned into fire. Like hunger or phobia, it tore through her body, uncontrolled, and she could only shrink back from its advance as she had once as a small child shrunk back from a storm. The sensation was like being burned alive. Her belly was hot, so hot, and when she placed her hand over her Soul Gem she pulled back immediately, staring at her charred fingers. Magic is strongest when your emotions are strongest, Mami had told her. Few emotions were stronger than desperation – and vengeance. Maybe that's why it now felt so sharp. She closed her eyes, lips contorted in pain, struggling to contain the magic, and just as it inundated every inch of her flesh, she forced it to coalesce between her fingertips, diverting it into an open channel like diverting a stream of lava, and when it reached its destination she felt its weight suddenly in her hands.

The katana was a beautiful sight. It had a hilt the color of ripe wheat, ending in an amber-white cross guard adorned with flowers. Slightly curved, the blade was six feet of sunlight metal that glowed gold when the moon lit upon it just so. The touch of the leather felt like the touch of a lost friend. She gave it a tentative _swish_. The air hummed as if struck with a tuning fork.

In front of her Kyouko and Homura were driving back the lesser demons as well as they could, trying to buy her time. A strange feeling rose up her throat – this was the stuff of stories, she realized, the essence of fairy tales, and in that moment she had never been as sure of anything as she was sure of their triumph. Gripping the sword with both hands, Sayaka stabbed the entire length of the katana into the mother demon's flesh, all the way up to the hilt. Golden light erupted beneath the surface. A jet of black blood spurted out as if the flesh had sprung a leak.

Like a drug, magic tore through her veins, flooding tired muscle, wiping away all exhaustion. The last spark of a dying flame is brightest, so went that old adage. Taking a deep breath, bracing one foot against the wall of flesh, Sayaka ran _upwards_ along the demon's skin. She dragged the blade behind her. Where blade met flesh the flesh split in two, exposing a liquid-filled body so dark it seemed to suck in moonlight. More spurts of blood. She felt dizzy, running against gravity, but there was a strange exhilaration to it. The blade carved a gash in the demon's side as tall as a waterfall. Bile spewed forth in torrents. Below her it rained black and the smell of the oil clung to the air like the perfume of a corpse locked in a room. And was that her imagination, or was the demon groaning in pain, a deep, guttural sound at a pitch almost below the range of hearing? Serves you right, she thought viciously, digging the blade in harder.

Kyouko and Homura fell to dots below, the sky rushed to meet her above, and as she climbed higher and higher it didn't seem so impossible that she would eventually touch the moon and stars.

Her climb ended in a flat expanse ten feet long sloping down in all directions. From here she could see for miles in the dark night. Her flesh had cooled but was still feverish. So this was the demon's head – or where its head would be, if it had one. The surface was as smooth and featureless as the rest of it. Sayaka hadn't known quite what she expected to find, but this disappointed her. A face, at least, something that could scream.

Up here the air was rare and biting. The view was peaceful, almost. If the color wasn't completely wrong, it could almost be that hill near her house she liked to go to some days (before the whole magical girl thing, of course). Glancing down, Sayaka could barely make out Kyouko and Homura amidst the sea of black. They would not last much longer. Neither could she, for that matter. Her insides felt as if someone had stuck a torch down her throat. Fortunately, all she had left to do was make the trip down on the other side, slicing open the demon's skin like slicing in half a water-filled balloon. And then this whole thing would end. And Mami could rest in peace. She took a step forward.

The group erupted below her. Something threw her off her feet. The world turned three-sixty degrees and she found herself spinning in the air, half a second of vertigo before realizing what was happening. The katana was ripped from her hands. Desperately, she tried to find something else to grab on to, found no purchase in that blank flesh.

She tumbled over the edge.

Air rushed past her. Falling down was so much easier than going up. Pain in her chest. Something black was poking out of where her heart should be. Blood blossoming like a flower. She caught of glimpse of Kyouko and Homura's faces, gaping at her in horror, and that was the last thing she remembered before her vision went dark.

* * *

Kyouko wasn't quite sure what happened next.

It had all been going so well – _well_ wasn't quite the word for it, considering the state they were in, but they had a chance, at least. Kyouko watched Sayaka's ascent and her own heart rose with that blue-haired girl. She felt a rush of pride – _her_ Sayaka, less than a year a magical girl, bringing down a demon that would be passed down among their coterie as legend. Not too surprising, despite her inexperience. From the moment Kyouko had laid eyes on her she saw her potential.

Plus, Kyouko thought with a stab of guilt, they had spoiled her too much. Sayaka's Soul Gem was the cleanest among them.

Then everything had gone wrong. Sayaka's silhouette against the moon. A shuddering. The mother demon _rippled_ , its skin undulating outwards like a pool struck with a stone, so violently Kyouko could feel its trembling in the ground beneath her. Sayaka fell. A tendril shot out and impaled her across the chest. It suspended her against the backdrop of the moon, holding her by the heart with her limbs dangling towards the ground, and when it released her the shadows of scattered droplets followed her fall.

Here was where Kyouko's memory failed her. She could not remember throwing her spear against the ground. She could not remember falling to her knees with her hands clasped in front of her, but that, too, must have happened, and she could not remember the words that passed through her lips, ancient incantations she had not even realized she had known towards a faith she had not even realized she still clung to. She did remember, however, the ground splitting beneath her feet and the lesser demons crushed beneath buildings that fell like toys. She remembered the massive javelin of wood and metal that was alive like a snake, coiled beneath her, and she remembered kneeling atop its head as it rose, her eyes closed still in that prayer position and she remembered the single thought coursing through her brain: _Let her be alive._

She caught Sayaka in her arms and her heart wrenched as if it was her own heart that had been pierced. Sayaka's chest was a black cavity pulsing with blood, a hole so wide it almost severed her body. Her eyes were closed and she did not breathe. Laying Sayaka's head across her lap, Kyouko touched her face, tracing her fingers along the eyes and nose and lips. There was so little magic left in the girl it was like touching a block of ice. With her free hand Kyouko reached for her few remaining Grief Seeds, remembered that she had used up the last of them weeks ago. Still she searched. There was nothing left.

No, she realized. There was one last source of Grief Seeds right in front of her.

Gently, Kyouko laid Sayaka down on the ground. She stood up, and the snake of wood and metal, too, unwound to its full height until she was level with the massive mother demon that was splitting at its seams. Sayaka's sword had opened a long unbroken trail from base to summit. Black liquid poured forth from the wound, and perhaps in time it would drain completely, but that would not be soon enough.

Reaching into the air one last time, Kyouko drew a spear. She felt surprisingly light. Already she could feel her skin cracking. In a few more minutes her body would break down from magic depletion, but that did not scare her. The only worry was that there would not be enough time. She looked down at the ground far below where Sayaka was just a speck and she could see clearly in her mind the blue lights of Sayaka's eyes that brightened when she laughed. Gripping her spear with both hands, she urged the massive javelin beneath her feet forward.

It struck like a snake. The head, a massive triangular blade, reared back and dove forward, carrying her with it. The air rushing past her face wiped away all remnants of exhaustion. Tendrils shot out from the demon, sharp, wicked things, hundreds of them, each the width of her torso. To think the demon had this one last card to play – it had caught Sayaka unawares, but Kyouko would not make the same mistake. She sliced them and sent their remnants tumbling out of the sky. Too late did she realize that she was not their target. More tendrils wrapped around the shaft of the massive javelin, covering the wood like thick layers of rope, grinding its head to a halt before it could drive the few final feet into the demon itself. The triangular blade quivered, straining against its chains.

Kyouko leaped upwards. For a brief second at the apex she was motionless, higher than she had ever been before, the world stretching out below her, and she imagined she could see all of Honshu at a glance spreading from sea to sea. Twenty feet above the demon, her skin blistering like pomegranate seeds, spear pointed at the opening in the demon's wound, she began to fall.

Her nerves were so shot she did not even feel the pain, only realized it when she had stopped moving. A long black tendril had pierced her from behind. The tip came out where her stomach would be. Fixed in place, she turned her head just in time to see another tendril penetrate her shoulder. She tried to work her way free but only succeeded in making the wounds larger. Her feet flailed hundreds of feet above the ground. Dimly she felt more tendrils wrapping around her body, heard a dull crunch as they crushed her ribs.

She took a few belabored breaths. Her mouth tasted of blood, but soon that, too, was gone, replaced by numbness. She tried one last time to break free but could not even feel her arms. Tilting her head, she caught a glimpse of the javelin she had ridden turning into dust and kindling. A flash of purple far below; Homura had still not given up hope, fighting against the lesser demons – or had she given it up long ago? In any case she was too far to help. Sayaka was – unconscious, she told herself. And Mami…

Kyouko closed her eyes. She made no pretensions that she did not deserve this. Ever since the fire she had waited. But Sayaka had not deserved this. That girl had wanted in all the world simply an end to suffering.

Phantom words in the night air. A searing heat. Her eyes shot open, searching for the source of those two words she thought she would never hear again. Gold so bright it seemed like dawn. The peal of distant cannons pierced the sky, the tendrils holding her snapped, and miraculously she was free, once again plummeting towards the demon. More tendrils came at her and were blown away by the same golden light. Somehow she had still held on to her spear. The handle was slick with her blood and she dug her nails into the wood so she wouldn't let go. She poured the last dredges of her magic into that point, all the emotions she had buried or refused to acknowledge, sharpened it as finely as if she had carved the spearhead herself. She dove into nothingness. When her spear met demon flesh there was a tremor. Her world was swallowed by blackness more absolute than any. If she closed her eyes she could not have noticed the difference.

She became aware that she was lying on the ground. Gravel pressed against her cheek. Raising her head, she looked behind her and saw the demon looming once again, this time with a hole carved into it so large it was more empty air than flesh, and the sight of the moon and stars in that round black frame was the strangest thing she had ever seen. Around the hole's frayed edges lingered red wispy traces of her magic. In her hands she clutched a broken piece of wood, the splinters digging beneath her nails.

Piece by piece, the demon started to disintegrate, its massive form breaking down into millions of tiny droplets that rained upward and evaporated like a summer drizzle. All around it the lesser demons, too, were evaporating. In a gust of wind their droplets scattered as if they had never existed at all. When the last of them vanished the world released a held breath. Only shadows remained in the ruins of buildings – and the Grief Seeds scattering the ground like leaves in autumn, more than she had ever seen her entire life. If she could but stand she could grasp it and live forever. Instead she watched everything through half-closed eyes, feeling her heart beat slower and slower…

The girl walked through the night bathed in moonlight. Kyouko saw her coming in a slideshow between blinks. The sight was so impossible she thought she was still dreaming – she often dreamed those kinds of dreams, where her family had come back to life and she woke up with the taste of ashes in her mouth. But it had been a long time since she had dreamed.

Cupping Kyouko's head in her hands, the girl murmured, "You've done well. But it's not yet time for you to rest."

"What does it take to kill a magical girl?" Kyouko wondered aloud. Then, as soon as she said it, she laughed weakly. "The Soul Gem. Of course."

The girl closed Kyouko's eyes with two fingers. With her other hand she touched Kyouko's Soul Gem. Warmth blossomed in Kyouko's neck. Magic roared through her veins, sent her body shivering, and with each new Grief Seed the fire grow hotter and hotter. She doubled over. Skin stitched over tendon grew over bone elongated from nothing. When it was over her skin was slick with sweat.

"You shouldn't have helped me," she gasped. "Not after what I did to you."

Mami smiled. "Maybe not."

"That was your Tiro Finale back there, wasn't it?"

"Mm-hm."

"Why would you save someone who tried to kill you?"

Mami shrugged. "Why not?"

The irrationality of it almost made Kyouko want to tear out her hair. Perhaps Mami was insane. Instead she ran her fingers across the Soul Gem in her neck, brilliant red and warm like a stone in the sun. What a small thing to contain a life. But as her thoughts revolved back to Sayaka (as they always did) she felt a fear that the demon paled in comparison to grip her heart. How would Sayaka react once she found out? One word from Mami and it would all come crashing down. The uncertainty returned, the adrenaline, the feeling of balancing on the precipice – and it only calmed when she told herself that no matter what happens, she'll pay the price for her own deeds.

"Thank you," Kyouko said, "but I won't apologize."

"You're welcome." Mami touched her neck. The skin was smooth and white and unbroken. "I'm not sure how I lived. I guess we're more resilient than we give ourselves credit for."

"Don't think I owe you anything. You may have saved me, but I killed the demon. We're even."

"I never wanted anything more," Mami said simply.

Did you? Kyouko thought, staring at her. Those yellow eyes were inscrutable as always but she remembered the last time she had stared into them, when she had lifted the severed head up by its curls. Mami's face held that same gentle expression that reminded Kyouko of the stained-glass saints in her parents' church. But behind that smile she thought she detected a vindictiveness like that of a wounded beast. And its chance was coming soon.

* * *

Sayaka woke to the sound of gulls.

There were two of them, circling far away. She opened her eyes to darkness. The first thing she became aware of was the cold. The second thing was the scent of salt. The third was a deep pulsing in her chest, _thump, thump_ , regular as a metronome, as if somebody had her heart in a vice grip and was squeezing it every time she breathed. She moaned in pain.

"There, there," a gentle voice said. "You'll be alright."

"Thank God," another voice said. "Thank God."

"Kyouko?" Sayaka whispered. Her mouth was dry. "What happened?"

Kyouko's face appeared overhead. Her grin was as wide as the moon and her eyes were wet. "We did it. We killed the demon. Thank God you're alive."

Sayaka sat up, resting against something soft behind her. Her memory lay in pieces like broken bits of glass. She remembered the climb and the fall. She had failed – that had been her last thought as she plummeted down to Earth and the disappointment had been worse than the pain. Bringing a hand to her chest, she pressed against it gingerly. It hurt, but not nearly so much, considering her heart had been torn, she remembered. Next to her Kyouko was still grinning. A little ways off sat Homura, her arms wrapped around her knees. The pier lay in shambles. Most of the buildings had collapsed and deep scratches rent the ground, dotted by brown dried-up splotches of blood.

Her voice came out shivering, afraid to believe.

"How?"

"We overcame it in the end," Kyouko said. "I thought it was impossible but I was wrong. You were amazing, with that sword of yours. It gave me the opening I needed."

"I thought I failed," Sayaka murmured. "You were all counting on me and I let all of you down."

Kyouko laced her fingers with Sayaka's and squeezed. The tightness lingered, as if she was scared she would vanish. "Not even close. Without you, none of us would be here right now."

"I'm glad," Sayaka said. "I'm truly glad."

And then the realization hit her in a sudden wave of dizziness, as if she was surfacing after a long time underwater. She almost didn't dare believe it for fear it would shatter before her and she would wake up lying in a puddle of her own blood with the corpses of her friends strewn on the ground, clinging to the scraps of a beautiful dream. She laughed, three staccato beats descending down the scale. "We did it!" she cried, standing up and throwing her arms around Kyouko. A sharp pain in her side forced her down again.

"Don't push yourself," the gentle voice said. "You're still not fully healed."

Sayaka whirled around. It could not be – and yet it was. Mami sat there looking as calm as ever, her smile as warm as the day they met, as if she had been there always. The sight was what finally convinced her that none of it could have been real. Mami was dressed in her school uniform, the cream-colored shirt with black skirt and stockings, her hair done in the usual drills that reminded Sayaka rather absurdly of cornets. Her flower clips reflected the lights of Mitakihara behind her. Mami had been holding her in her lap, Sayaka saw, and now she smoothed out the creases in her skirt. Her fingers were long and pale.

"You're dead," Sayaka could only say, not breathing. "I saw your corpse. Kyouko told us the demons killed you."

Kyouko's grip on Sayaka's hand tightened. Her eyes wide like those of a hunted animal. The expression on her face was of a terror unlike Sayaka had ever seen or thought possible for the redhead, who had always been so brave, who had once stared straight at Sayaka with her guts spilling out and said that she did not need saving.

Mami lifted a strand of hair out of Sayaka's eyes. Her smile was unimaginably tender.

"It happened like Kyouko said. I don't remember it clearly. When I woke up I came as fast as I could."

Sayaka buried her face into Mami's shoulder. The cloth smelled like lemons and nutmeg and sweetened baking flour. Happiness almost made her faint, made her feel like that one time at a New Year's party where she had secretly drunk a glass of champagne. Without realizing it she cried – not just for Mami but for herself, for Kyouko, for Homura, for Mitakihara, for all the goodness in the world. At last she could afford the luxury. The tears were hot in her eyes and turned cool upon contact with the air. An exhaustion like she had never known settled on her shoulders. At the same time a fog lifted from her mind as if she had lived her whole life in darkness and the sun had come out blazing.

"I thought you were dead," she said in a voice muffled by the cloth. "I thought I would never see you again."

"I'm sorry for worrying you," Mami said. Her voice, too, shook. "I'm sorry."

Kyouko's laughter erupted in a single burst like canon fire. It was so sudden it disturbed the quiet of the gulls, who squawked back indignantly. "I lost," she said with a shake of her head in a voice relieved with wonder. "I lost utterly."

Years later, when Sayaka was asked about the best day of her life, she would remember back to that night where four girls came back from the dead. In those first stirrings of dawn she would've been content if the moment lasted forever. This is happiness, she thought, listening to the sound of waves lapping at the shore while the moon slowly faded into the sky. Even in the cold with the hard gravel beneath them, it was not until the first sliver of sunrise softened the sky, when the moon and stars and the terror of the night faded into memory, that they stood up and headed for home.

* * *

A/N: It's almost over. There's one more chapter followed by a short epilogue.

I'm amazed at how many people thought Mami actually died. In fact, I don't think anyone picked up on it. The Soul Gem holds the life of the magical girl. The only reason Mami died in the anime is because her Soul Gem got eaten along with her head.


	12. A Thousand Miles

Chapter Twelve: A Thousand Miles

"So," Mami said, "What did you want to talk about?"

Kyouko crossed her arms. "Why didn't you tell her?"

Mami paused, her teacup halfway to her mouth. The two of them sat in Mami's living room, that old place again. How many bad memories had been created here? Just the sight of those gold curtains made Kyouko sick, and that overpoweringly sweet citrus air freshener didn't help, either. The place was so clean it could be featured on TV. All the chairs were neatly pushed in, not a single piece of china was out of place, and the tablecloths were so intricate they seemed ready to fall apart at a touch. It was impossible to believe that someone lived here.

"I think you know why," Mami said.

"I need to hear it from you."

"There was no need to tell her. She's much happier with the lie. Nobody wants to find out their best friend is a killer."

"It was your chance to get rid of me forever and you didn't take it."

"It was for Sayaka's sake. Besides," she said with a smile, "who said I wanted to get rid of you?"

"What I did wasn't wrong," Kyouko said, and even to her own ears her words came out rapid, desperate. "It was also for Sayaka's sake."

Mami _looked_ at her. Kyouko could not do the same. Probably it was cowardice that made her turn to the window, listening to the sounds of the street. It was late afternoon, and the warmest day in recent memory. After a cold winter, spring was unexpectedly early. The laughter of children in the nearby park drifted in, along with the soft hum of the electric cars and the noise of construction a few blocks down. Somewhere a dog was barking. A trio of blue jays started to sing. So this was the Mitakihara they had tried so desperately protect.

"What I did I wasn't wrong," Kyouko repeated.

"Do you really believe that?" Mami said, and then, in a softer voice, "Do I?"

"All I said last night was true. All I did last night was right. Maybe you'll call it evil. Maybe – " and here her voice cracked " – maybe it _is_ evil. But I'll carry it, because it serves a greater purpose. Hate me if you want. You've got every right to do so. But it changes nothing."

"You believe it, then, much more than I believe myself. " Mami looked down at the liquid, speaking to her reflection. "I don't have it left in me to hate. Sometimes I wonder if death will not be so bad. Maybe the best we can hope for is to leave behind a better world for our friends."

"That's no way to live."

"Our lives are borrowed. How long can we put off paying it?"

"As long as we can."

"Was it worth it?"

And here was where it all culminated, wasn't it? The same question had tumbled in Kyouko's mind long before Mami had asked it, perhaps even long before the spear had severed her spine. The ending was the most important thing, but the parts in between were not entirely meaningless, either. At the time they lived in a stagnant pool. What else could she have done? She dropped a stone. Where the ripples took it nobody could've known.

"If Sayaka is happy," she said at last, "it's worth it."

"I thought it'd be like that after all. In your time of need you didn't think of yourself but someone you loved."

The look in those eyes was so gentle Kyouko had to bite her tongue to keep from shouting in her face. So this is the difference, she thought, staring up at the ceiling. When she was young, her parents read to her passages from the Bible, stories of saints that they told her she should aspire to become. She remembered lying in the bed she shared with her sister, curled up beneath the covers with only a single light bulb for illumination as her father read aloud to them from the foot of the bed. The best stories are the ones that are true, he said. Look at the selflessness of these saints, their faith, their purity, their mercy! As she grew older – as she had to press her palms deep into her stomach to dull the pangs of hunger – she knew the stories to be parables. After the fire she realized they were lies. But now she wasn't so sure.

"Even after all I've done you're still going to be like that," she said.

Mami smiled, playing with the handle of her teacup. "I'm not as good as you think I am."

"And you're humble, too. Perfect."

"I mean it. What was your wish?"

Kyouko frowned. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious."

"My father. He was a pastor. I wished he would get more followers." The truth came out easily, much easier than the retort that was by now almost reflex. This was the second person she had ever told the story to, she realized, albeit abbreviated. "It didn't work out."

"I knew it. You wished happiness for someone else." Mami bent over the teacup, her head sunk so deep into her chest Kyouko could not see her eyes. In her voice there was a tremor, barely audible. "I was in a car accident. We were driving to the country for vacation, like we did every summer. I remember a sudden jolt, and a lot of noise, and I must have blacked out for a bit…when I came to I was in a lot of pain. Both my parents were dead. I didn't understand it fully, not back then. I kept telling them to get up, and I cried a lot, endlessly and endlessly, it hurt so much. I would've died back there, too, if Kyubey hadn't shown up. He made a deal. One wish for a lifetime of servitude. I wished that I would live. Not my parents – just me."

Kyouko laughed. "A careless wish. Just like mine. Is that your point? That we can be friends? That deep down we're both alike?"

Mami shook her head. "You're wrong. Our wishes were nothing alike. You wished happiness for someone else, while I wished happiness for myself. It's in our time of need that we show our true selves. In my worst moment I was selfish. That's the truth of it."

"You were a kid. Anyone else would've done the same."

"That's exactly it." Mami looked down at her hands, her voice so soft it was rivaled by the hum of the electric cars. "Had it been you, or Sayaka, or even Homura, I'm sure you would've made the correct wish. You even said so yourself – you made your wish to help your father. And Sayaka made her wish to help that boy."

"You think that makes my wish good?"

Outside the sky turned to gold. A chilly breeze blew in, the last remnant of winter, making Kyouko shiver as she watched Mami tremble. Was there a magical girl alive who didn't regret her wish? The more Kyouko thought about it the more convinced she became. A wish made with even the best intentions betrayed itself in the end. That said something significant about the state of the human heart – or more probably, Kyouko thought dryly, about the deviousness of Kyubey and his race.

"So this is the great secret you've been hiding," she said, forcing her tone to be light. "A single mistake in childhood and now you think you've got it made. You think that makes you a martyr?"

"That's not what I meant – "

"Let me continue the story. When my father found out I was using magic to help him get followers, he locked all of us up in the attic and set the house on fire. Then he hanged himself in the living room. Everybody but me burned. My mother tried to shield us from the flames. My little sister begged me for the pain to stop. When it was over their corpses still clung on to me, charred and warm. So don't _you_ – " she snarled, grabbing a fistful of Mami's hair – "speak to me about regret."

Red eyes stared into amber. Then, softly:

"Oh, Kyouko. I had no idea."

Closing her eyes, Kyouko sank back into her chair, feeling the blood drain from her as if her veins had holes. She brought a hand to her chest, clenching her traitorous beating heart through her dress. To think it still harbored so much venom after so long. The fabric was rough beneath her fingers and the ringing in her ears still did not die down. Time had let skin close over the wound but had also, she found out, let it fester beneath.

Absentmindedly, Mami touched the spot in her hair Kyouko had grabbed, staring at some distant spot on the table. "Forget it," Kyouko said before she could speak. She was in no mood for kindness. Especially not from someone who spewed kindness from a fire hose and drowned anyone standing in her way.

Idly, Kyouko swirled her teacup, breathing in the scent of chai. She had never been fond of tea. It had always been too expensive for her family, and even now when she had more money than she knew what to do with, she found the taste of it bland, preferred the sweetness of juice or soda. Perhaps it was a difference in upbringing, she thought, watching Mami sip from her cup, or perhaps it was a difference in genes.

"Don't think this makes us friends," she said. "I told you because I want you to know your moping is pathetic."

Mami merely smiled. But she said nothing, and that, too, was kindness in its own way. She rested her head in her hands, looking out the window to the sky. Kyouko followed her gaze to a patch of clouds that looked like the smoke from a train, or the wings of an airplane, or the ripples from a boat. Time passed faster as you grew older, she remembered hearing from somewhere. Certainly the last few months had flashed by, so quickly she was afraid it would vanish like a reflection in the water. But she told herself there were still many more years to come.

Mami returned her gaze to Kyouko.

"I'm leaving Mitakihara."

Kyouko's cup fell sideways on the table. "Why?"

"It's what you always wanted, isn't it?"

"Yes!" Kyouko caught herself, shook her head. "That doesn't answer my question."

"Do I need a reason? You said it yourself. There's not enough room for four magical girls in this city – "

"What a joke. We both know that's not it."

Mami stirred her tea, long drained dry. "There's nothing left for me here." Her voice held all the qualities of a sigh. There was a fragility in her pose, slumped against the chair, as if the lightest breeze would carry her far, far away, and when it dropped her she would shatter. Kyouko remembered her as she was last night: proud, indomitable, _alive_. That Mami on the battlefield had been immortal. This one was broken – but by what? What could have broken her if cutting off her head had not done it?

"I was jealous, you know," Mami continued. "Of you. Of Sayaka. Of the relationship you two share."

"Us?

"Your friendship and more-than-friendship. It's what I've always wanted but could never have."

"You have more friends at school than both of us combined."

"No. Not friends. Not even close." She closed her eyes but just before she did so Kyouko caught the glimmer of tears. "Those girls at school see one side of me and that is enough for them, and they never stop to wonder that perhaps I'm just like them, that I have my own fears, my own flaws, my own insecurities. They want to believe that I'm perfect and I have no choice but to follow. Loneliness is never more heartfelt than when there are so many people around you. If only there was one person, I thought, just one person that I can love and who understands me, that would be enough. Once I thought I had found her…" she laughed, three beats like broken bells. "But she has found her own happiness. And I was left behind, as always."

Kyouko turned her face away. There was no reason for her to feel guilty but she did.

"Perhaps it was for the best. I once thought I loved her." Mami folded her hands on the table, head raised high. "I'm grateful to you. You taught me what love is, long after I had forgotten it. There's nothing left for me here. I should've realized it a long time ago."

"It won't be any easier in the other cities."

The corners of Mami's lips tugged upward. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me to stay."

"I'm glad you're leaving," Kyouko said immediately, and it was not a lie. She ran her teeth over her tongue, trying to rid herself of the bitter taste that had appeared as if she had swallowed a pack of almonds. "When?"

"In a while. Things need to be arranged."

"Have you told Sayaka?"

"Not yet. I've…I've been getting around to it."

"You're not worried about leaving the city to me?"

"Of course I am. But Sayaka will be with you."

"I had always thought it would end with one of us dead," Kyouko confessed.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

Was that what it was? Disappointment? She had been prepared for threats, thinly-veiled, and she had been prepared to fight. What she not been prepared for was victory, so easy that it could hardly be called victory at all. She leaned against the chair, remembering back to her own exodus. She had left Kasamino with a sadness tempered by relief, a nostalgia tempered by fear, a hope tempered by finality. She had left Kasamino after scattering ashes over the embers. And she understood that Mami needed this more than she did.

"I hope you find happiness," she said. "Wherever that might be."

* * *

She found Homura in the playground, sitting on the swings. A short distance away a group of kids played in the sandbox, forging cities and castles with the intensity of architects. A pink-haired boy who could not have been more than four diligently piled wet sand into a pail, upended the pail to create a tower, strung towers together to create a fortress. Homura watched them with a smile that was out-of-place with those black eyes.

"I didn't expect to find you here," Kyouko said, despite knowing perfectly well she would. She took a seat on the swing next to her, rocking back and forth, trying to remember how it went.

Homura's smile disappeared instantly. It was practically a magic act. Her lips pursed into a thin line, hands folded neatly in her lap. But it was not coldness, Kyouko thought, more of a self-defense mechanism. Like a caterpillar crawling into a ball when touched.

"What are you doing here?" Homura asked.

"Just passing the time."

If Homura disbelieved her she gave no sign, instead turning her gaze back to the children. But Kyouko's arrival seemed to have disrupted something inside her, sent the moment evaporating into sunlight, and this time the look in those eyes was to something far beyond the sunset. What are you searching for? Kyouko wondered. How long have you been looking? Can I trust you? And, almost unbidden, "Who _are_ you?"

Homura's smile held all the happiness of a crushed flower. "I'm just another magical girl who's lost someone dear."

"Is there any other kind?"

"Once, long ago, but she herself was lost instead." Homura's fingers gripped the chains of the swing, and they were clinking, clinking, with the groan of rust. "Don't get too attached. That's my advice to you, as your senior."

"You're not much older than me."

"So you think." There it was again. Kyouko flinched away from her, from eyes that suddenly looked _old_. "You may try to grasp happiness, but the harder you try, the more it will slip between your fingers, and all the decades you have struggled will come to nothing. The end only matters if you can get there. Death is not reversible, not in this world."

So she knew after all. "Awfully talkative today, aren't you?" Kyouko said, trying to keep her voice steady. Even though she had expected it her breath became very fast, her fingernails digging into the wooden seat. Homura caught her eye and shook her head.

"What happened between you and Mami can be solved between the two of you. I'm simply giving you some advice. This might be our last conversation."

Kyouko understood it, then, in a flash of insight like lightning on a clear day. "Mami already told you."

"I've decided to leave with her."

Kyouko wanted to ask but she couldn't. She wanted to ask why she was leaving, if it was for the same reason as Mami, if she expected to find whatever it was she was looking for in the other cities. She wanted to gaze into a crystal ball and watch the story of how this girl came to be but she couldn't, of course, do that, either. She wanted to touch her hand and that was the most impossible thing of all. There were things in the world she would never know, she reflected, things that nobody would ever know; perhaps it was for the best.

"Good luck," she said.

Homura nodded, and Kyouko thought that had they all lived a thousand years she would never hear so many words from Akemi Homura ever again.

* * *

Sayaka was waiting for her on the rooftop of the school.

"You're late," she said, hands on her hips. "I thought you would never come!"

"What an honor student you are," Kyouko said, "going to school after you almost got killed by a demon."

" _Some_ of us are productive members of society."

"Yeah, yeah, just give me some of your lunch." Kyouko scooped up Sayaka's lunchbox, tossing her a bag of dumplings in exchange. Sayaka's mother was a much better cook than that street vendor.

For once, Sayaka ate faster than she did, no doubt trying to finish before lunch break ended. There was something different about her, Kyouko observed, something more saturated, more dazzling – like a blade of grass after rain. Her skin was brighter, her eyes more blue, her lips fuller and red as carnations.

"What is it?" Sayaka said. "Do I have food on my face?"

"Wanna catch a movie with me?"

"I have midterms."

"That old excuse? You just saved a city. That calls for a little celebration, doesn't it?"

Sayaka crossed her arms. "That means I need to work more, not less. I haven't gotten a single good night's sleep since that thing showed up. I fell asleep in third period this morning. The teacher called me out on it!"

"Sounds like a pain." Kyouko stretched out on her back, basking in the sunlight. Laughter drifted upwards from the courtyard below. The students' voices were too far for her to make out but their tone was unmistakably light, a melody rising and falling with the cadence of her thoughts. None of them realized how close they came to total annihilation. Living on day by day without worry for the future, because they didn't need to. Their only demons were test scores, school trips, crabby teachers, gossip, club practice, does-she-like-me-or-does-she-not. "On second thought," she said, closing her eyes, "it doesn't sound so bad, school. Maybe I'll try it out again."

Sayaka doubled over.

"What's so funny?" Kyouko said, glaring at her. "Weren't you always bugging me about going to school?"

"It's just – I can't imagine you in a uniform. I can't imagine you fitting into class, either, with that attitude of yours. You won't make any friends."

"Of course I will!" Kyouko scowled. "Forget it. I don't know why I even brought it up.

Sayaka laid out on the ground beside her, her laughter fading. "It'll be difficult. Your parents need to be there. They need to sign forms, meet with the principal, pay the school…"

"I guess it was too much to expect, after all," Kyouko said softly.

Curling up on her side, Sayaka rested her head against Kyouko's shoulder. "I still can't believe we did it. Sometimes I wonder if it really happened."

"Of course it happened. We won. That's all there is to it."

"Is it really? I feel like there's a lot more left to tell." She played with Kyouko's hand, brushing against her fingertips. Her touch was light as rain water and as bracing – her touch sent shivers up Kyouko's spine. "I waited for you all day yesterday. Mami told me you went to see her. Why didn't you come to me?"

Because I was scared. I gave my heart to you – do you even know what you can do with such a thing? Do you realize that with a touch of your finger you can make it bleed, with a sideways look you can make it beat, with a harsh word you can stop it forever?

"I was tired," Kyouko said.

"So was I, and I waited. I waited for you to finish what you were saying."

Kyouko turned away. This is exactly why I didn't come to you earlier, she wanted to say, and this is exactly why I come to you now. What had been so easy to say in the face of imminent death was now so impossible. But there was no escaping it, not unless another demon suddenly materialized above their heads. She gazed longingly upwards. No luck. She took a deep breath.

"I love you."

"You said it better before," Sayaka said, laughing. "Now you say it like someone forced you."

"Because you just did!"

Sayaka placed her hand on the back of Kyouko's neck. Gently, she brought their faces closer.

On the sunlit rooftop they kissed once, briefly; then again, longer. Kyouko's fingers knotted in Sayaka's hair, urging her closer, refusing to part. It was the warmth that she would remember afterwards, holding the memory like a flame against her chest. Warmth, and softness, and the taste of pomegranates on a tongue that was not her own. Sometime during their kisses the lunch bell must have rung; when they finally broke the courtyard was silent, and they were the only ones left in the world.

Kyouko couldn't remember when Sayaka had slipped her hand in hers but it was there now, smooth and warm. She squeezed her hand. The flesh was real and solid and not a dream.

"On second thought," Sayaka said, "how about that movie?"

* * *

A/N: Epilogue (sort of, more like a super-short chapter thirteen) up in a few days.


	13. Epilogue

Epilogue

They stood at the station on the first day of spring.

"Are you sure about this?" Sayaka said.

"It's something I have to do," Mami said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Just hurry up already," Kyouko said. She caught Sayaka's glare. "What? I didn't even want to come in the first place."

"You have _no_ manners at all!"

Mami laughed. "It's alright. I'm sure Kyouko's just saying goodbye, in her own way."

"Yeah, right," Kyouko muttered just loudly enough for them to hear, but as Sayaka opened her mouth to admonish her, the speakers announced the arrival of the train, would all passengers please get ready? Mami and Homura hefted their suitcases, their entire lives – Mami with one suitcase, Homura with none.

"I guess this is it," Mami said.

"One day," Kyouko said. "One day, we'll see each other again. And settle it between us."

"Of course."

"And…" Kyouko turned to Homura, hesitating. "I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for."

Homura nodded.

Sayaka hugged them both in turn. "I'll miss you," she said, waving goodbye. The doors closed. Those few feet were the furthest they had ever been apart.

The wheels rumbled to life. Sayaka waved her arms while Kyouko stood with her hands in her pockets, hair flying in the wind as the train rushed by. Above them the sky was copper-colored and cloudless. The tracks stretched endlessly in both directions, on one side towards the mountains, on the other side towards the sea. Besides the tracks the first batch of chrysanthemums had started to bloom.

For a long time they watched the train until it vanished in the distance. Then, holding hands, they left the station.

* * *

A/N: That's the end! I hope you all enjoyed reading. I'd like to thank all my readers, especially the ones who stuck it out with me for over two years, and _especially_ the ones who took the time to comment on every chapter (you know who you are). I know my release schedule is sporadic at best. This was the longest _anything_ I've ever written and it'll likely hold that record for many years. I wouldn't have made it this far without all of you!


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